Guest List Size

mercy4 · October 2011

I am just interested to see how large your guest list is, how you pared it down, and how even the bride's side/groom's side ratio is...

My family is very small and my FI's is quite large, so this has been something I've secretly worried about for a while! We are still in the process of getting conservative lists from everyone, but I'm trying to prepare myself.

MCRM22011 · October 2011

we did first cousins, aunts and uncles, and three of my fiance's great aunts/ uncles (i don't even know my great aunts/ uncles) and a few close friends. in addition to significant others/ spouses for those people, that was where we felt comfortable drawing the line. if we extended it to second cousins/ spouses, we would have been way over budget. we invited a little less than 100 and ended up in the 80s.

i suggest drawing it at a clean point, whether it is inviting all first cousins, 2nd cousins, third cousins. it should cause fewer arguments.

DoubleAS · October 2011

We did 1st cousins only, aunts/uncles, and only one living grandmother. We're lucky (in this case) that neither of us associate with our father's side of the families... The rest of our list is friends and our parent's closest friends. We're inviting close to 200 but our venue $ is based on 125.

Phoenixashes · October 2011

Our wedding is mostly all family save for the WP and some choice friends. With that being said, our guest list is at the 200 mark (I have a huge family) Our requirement is 135, so it's going to be a pretty decent sized party

Chobot · October 2011

We did a big no no, but there are a lot of out of towners and I was promised by my mother that not all her church friends would go. My venue holds 200, we contracted for 160, and I was told by a waiter that 180 is tight but okay.

Our final number is 210-212. I am praying for anything under 190. lol. It is a Sunday wedding so fingers crossed.

klustig · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://northjersey.weddings.com/Sites/weddings/Pages/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_guest-list-size?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:caee0b68-44b7-4ae9-8427-0e40e3d7d191Post:4f33a66c-5a27-4b4d-965f-f7024d57fb72">Re: Guest List Size</a>:
[QUOTE]We did a big no no, but there are a lot of out of towners and I was promised by my mother that not all her church friends would go. My venue holds 200, we contracted for 160, and I was told by a waiter that 180 is tight but okay. Our final number is 210-212. I am praying for anything under 190. lol. It is a Sunday wedding so fingers crossed.
Posted by Chobot[/QUOTE]

I'm going to be in the same boat! Probably inviting 210, hoping for 170...I do think lots of people from Fi's parents' families will drop off...they better! :)

Chobot · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_guest-list-size?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:caee0b68-44b7-4ae9-8427-0e40e3d7d191Post:8f692061-bea9-4c6a-b24e-f35f03e73097">Re: Guest List Size</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guest List Size : I'm going to be in the same boat! Probably inviting 210, hoping for 170...I do think lots of people from Fi's parents' families will drop off...they better! :)
Posted by klustig[/QUOTE]

<div>I do feel bad for hoping for 70%, but what can you do? Numbers are numbers. I want everyone, but totally impossible.</div>

TripleJTobe · October 2011

I have a small family. Most of my relatives were from an older generation and have unfortunately passed away. My fiance has a pretty big Italian family so it kind of balanced out that portion of ur guest list. To be honest, they've always treated me as though I was already part of their family and the same goes for how my family treats my fiance. So I really look at it as "our family" as opposed to "his" and "mine." That being said "our family" lol takes up the majority of the guest list however we do have a bunch of friends, work friends, childhood friends coming as well. We guaranteed 125 to our venue and are really trying to keep it right around that number if we can. As of right now, I think our list is around 138. We aren't really worried about coming in under our number because pretty much everyone has known about our wedding for over a year now and have all told us that they will be in attendance- so it should be a great night )

I think it really depends on your guests ) We know how all of our family and friends are about attending events, we have a good idea about their schedules etc. and were able to get a good idea on head counts based on those factors. Also, family that will be flying in, were the first ones that we gave the date to so they could be sure to mark the date and plan.

Best Wishes!!!! )

JoBell123 · October 2011

I haven't broken it down to how many people are friends, family, etc. But we invited about 240ish (in the end the numbers ended up being off because we decided to include some kids, then my boss's husband passed away, then my cousin asked if her boyfriend could come, etc). Our yes response ratio is a lot higher than the average. We invited our grandparents, aunts & uncles, cousins, a few great aunts & uncles, and our first cousins. We invited all of my dad's cousins on his mom's side, but no one from his dad's side or any of my mom's cousins. We basically narrowed it down to who we actually knew and saw often, then added the only other cousin on that side, but she lives on the other side of the country and can't make it (we assume...she never RSVPd).

sgdc2011 · October 2011

We invited around 190ish... had 122 come so we had to pay for 3 extra people that had to cancel last minute due to health reasons. DH and I had 4 tables worth of friends including bridal party, my parents had 5 tables worth of friends and family and the inlaws had 3 tables worth of friends/family. We both have small families, but my side invited more friends. It ended up being relatively even, however, it doesn't matter if it's uneven, no one will really notice.

shoebie · October 2011

We have 100 guests 80 of them my family 5 fi's 15 friends

LADY324 · October 2011

We are inviting 240 people. I have a big family and I am close with everyone so I have 2nd and 3rd cousins being invited. Our parents each invited about 80 people which includes friends and family. We have to guarantee 175 so I am hoping to have 200 tops. But we are prepared to pay for the 240.

Swazzle · October 2011

While we're not actually there yet, we do have a rough estimate of a wedding guest list because we had to come up with a guest list for the engagement party. So as of now the wedding guest list is at 158. It's parents, grandparents, siblings, nieces/nephews, aunts/uncles, 1st cousins, & close friends. 91 are my family, 9 are my friends, 43 are FI's family, 15 are his friends.

GiGiV2012 · October 2011

We are not getting married till next October so our list won't be finalized as of yet..but we have made preliminary estimates and we're in the 120-130 mark. My FI has a big family and my family has paired down in recent years. I think the largest percentage of people will be our friends.

akcrrr · October 2011

We invited 120. FI's family is HUGE and mine is small so he was at the 75 person mark and I only had about 50.

After getting all of the RSVP's back though we will only be having 84 people and it is almost an even split between my side and his.

I don't think it matters in terms of how many you have on each side. You should invite the people you guys care about most!

sharstin · October 2011

We are planning to invite 204 people in this country (I don't include my overseas family b/c I know they won't come - but I still have to send the invites). The guest list is definitely weighted heavier to his side of the family (65%), and that just includes his first-cousins with spouses, aunts/uncles and close friends. The room holds up to 200, but we only had to guarantee 150.... and that's the number we are hoping for. FI believes that a big chunk of his family won't be able to make it because they are all from out-of-state.... and it's a Friday night... and we're not including kids that are not a part of the bridal party. But, his mom disagrees and thinks most people will come. My position is that is more than 150 come, that is OK with me, as long as either he or his family covers the overage.

futuremrsdavies · October 2011

I haven't done invites yet but I sent out save the dates. I have 195 people on my invite list, but that includes a lot of plus ones that I can take off if need be before invites go out. My save the dates were sent to Ms. So and So and did not include anything about a date for that reason. My family is large so I only did first cousins and aunts and uncles, some great aunts and uncles and I have about 75 there. My fiance's family is a little smaller so he went to his WHOLE FAMILY and that is about 30 people. I invited about 50 friends, including my wedding party. FI is inviting about 25 friends including his wedding party. My parents are inviting about 15 family friends (they are paying a huge chunk of the wedding bill so they get some invites lol).

Since we have gotten such a positive response from the STDs we may just send out invites without the plus ones, and then tell those individuals they can bring someone if we find the no's are increasing. Our minimum is 150 and we'd like to end up around there.

alykat216 · October 2011

We ended up inviting 250. Our room max was 220 and that is pushing it, we would have had to put tables in the outer part. We ended up with 198 and one couple didn't show that night so we had 196 adults and 6 kids. It worked out perfectly. I would say our list was more my side for sure. H doesn't have as big of a family as me. I didn't do a cut off because my family is so large and we are just closer with some than others so it went by who we are close with and who we see on a regular basis. All of our first cousins were invited, then we had a mix of our parents cousins and pretty much the great aunts and uncles that were able to be there physically were there.

cutiepie12702 · October 2011

We invited 190, 110 from my side and 80 from his - 77 came from my side and 63 from his side (6 were kids). His side only consisted of 5 tables (I think only 2 were family), and mine was 8 (half were family). It really wasn't a big deal because we grouped his tables together so everyone was together. We also had a cultural mixed type wedding (his side was all Russian), and despite the differences both of our sides had a great time and enjoyed everything.

rlavach · October 2011

Although I wanted only 75, we agreed to a guest list of 90. We kept it to aunts, uncles & first cousins only. No girlfriends or +1's. We both have large famlies, but my FI's family all live in Frane or Martinique & Guadeloupe, so very few are actually going to make the trip to NJ.

Of the 90, 70 are my friends/family & 20 are his. I have no problem cutting people off the list. I can be ruthless in that way

LissyM83 · October 2011

We haven't done invites yet but we're inviting around 300 (RH minimum is 220). I have a very large family. FH's family is small (his parents only have 70 family members on his list, inlcuding cousins). The remainder of the guests are friends.

cindyn9178 · October 2011

- We invited about 200 and had 125 attend.

- My family is very large and DH's family is VERY small

- We invited about 20 people from DH's family, and about 10 attended. The rest of the guests were my family, and our friends and my parents' friends. (He only had two tables of family at the wedding, out of a total of 11 tables).

- We invited my first and second cousins, aunts & Uncles, and my parents' aunts and uncles. We also invited a few work friends, a bunch of family friends, etc.
We really had no issue with having to cut down the guest list. Our minimum we had to meet was 125 and we just met it (by including our vendors in the number).

mercy4 · October 2011

I appreciate everyone's input. I am going tomorrow to make a deposit on my venue and my parents are happy with the price so I don't think this will be a huge issue anymore. The amount of guests helps us meet our minimum and anything significantly over that number, my FI thinks his parents should pay. Hopefully I will be posting tomorrow about my confirmed venue!

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