So hard to make a decision!

nycrose2013 · January 2012

I have a dilemma. We really wanted a full on June evening wedding with all the great stuff that goes along with that. We had our hearts set on one location, but when we went to visit for a second time, and took my parents along, they busted out all these hidden costs that they had previously not told us about. Basically they took the wedding up from a 40k affair to a 50k affair, and my parents were very uncomfortable with that huge number! We then looked at a few more venues, and if they were cheaper, they lacked the elegance I am looking for for my wedding. Finally we went today to another venue, and they told us that for an evening wedding in June it would be 300/person, but if we had it the exact same party during the afternoon on that same date, it would be half that. So it would be 150/person INCLUDING the service and taxes. That is an unbeatable deal, but it means letting go of our night time reception, and having an afternoon party from 12:30-5:30. Basically what I am asking you ladies, is how do you feel about formal afternoon receptions? This would be a huge cocktail hour with butlered hors douvres, 15 stations, full open bar, and then a 4 course dinner followed by a Viennese hour. Basically the same formal parties held at night but during the day, at an extremely gorgeous venue, for half price. I was thinking that with the money saved, we could rent a few hotel suites, stock them with alcohol and keep the party going through the night for all of our young friends and family that are coming in for the wedding. It all sounds so great, but I am just worried that people won't enjoy the wedding as much, and wont take as much enjoyment from the booze and music if the party is on a bright sunny afternoon. Thanks for your advice!!!!

buttrflyah · January 2012

I have the complete same situation so I will share my story, hopefully it helps.

I never considered a day wedding in my life until my good friend had one on a Saturday and I had the best time EVER. It was over at 6, we went back to the hotel, partied some more and everyone was in bed by 10:30. It was actually nice to get a good nights sleep in a hotel you pay for!

So when it came time to planning my wedding, I just couldn't afford a night wedding at my venue and didn't even have enough people to fill the ballroom that I wanted. So I "settled" on a day wedding, and honestly I have no regrets. Its significantly cheaper and people will still have fun regardless of the time of day. And for what its worth, my venue will lower room darkening shades after dinner to give it that "night feel".

So basically, I say don't care what others prefer - do what you want, its your wedding. If people dont want to dance or drink because its light out well then they're just boring!

rlavach · January 2012

If it were me, I’d do it. I could see it might be a little harder if it was a Friday afternoon, since some would have to take off of work. But if it’s a Saturday or Sunday, why not?? That’s a huge savings.

Jacky225 · January 2012

I had somewhat of a similar dilemma but with meeting the minimum # of guests. We wanted a Sat night in May wedding but none of the places that met our "standards" had a low enough minimum. So I switched to a Friday night (and of course got the benefit of a lower price although not half the price!). I didn't want a Friday because its inconvenient for the guests to get there after work, etc and there would not be a lot of people at the church (3pm start time). But for me, it was more important to have the venue of my dreams then to have a church packed full. I started the cocktail hour at 7:30 to give people more time to get there. I hoped that most people would be fine with leaving work by 5, getting ready and making it on time. I know I cannot please everyone but that was my best option. Otherwise I would be paying a lot of money for a venue I did not really like on a Sat night.

In my own personal opinion, I am not a fan of afternoon weddings. I went to one once and found it odd to be dancing and drinking while the sun was shining into the venue. However, the venue was GORGEOUS and I knew it was worth it to the bride to have an afternoon wedding at this place then a night wedding at another place. And don't get me wrong, all the young people had a blast, enjoyed the music, food and booze and kept the party going. Holy hangover the next day but it was so fun. So I say go for it if this is the venue of your dreams!

gymchick05 · January 2012

It really depends on ur crowd and the atmosphere you want. We also had to stick w/ May/June due to our schedules so I know what your going thru. We were non-negotiable with a Saturday and some great venues offered us daytime too- since otherwise the minimums were way to high. With our family and friends they will party no matter what, but I didnt think it would be as wild or fun during the day. Also,if your getting married in a church like we were, it was too hard to schedule a mass that early/get pictures done/get ready and I didnt want to be all stressed out the day of. If u get married at the vene it can work great.

If ur crowd are partiers, I think ud still be fine, but it will probably be more low key. To me, the party/entertainment/food was more important that an over the top venue and we ended up w an amazing venue where were were the only wedding all day, amazing food,and only a 125 person minimum for a Saturday night and I wouldnt have changed anything.

But basically, I think ur gonna have an awesome time either way, so whatever u pick ull be fine

oxlizxo · January 2012

Does it have to be in June? If you're flexible on the month you can probably get a better deal in April or in winter.

nycrose2013 · January 2012

It does need to be in June, due to our schedules.

teachergurl2002 · January 2012

If your willing to be flexible on the month it really does save money. I am getting married in a few weeks and the the price difference between winter and spring/summer is considerable. From March to April the price difference literally went up about $100.00 at certain venues. I looked at The Pleasantdale Chateau and in December they wanted to charge me 175.00 pp Saturday night, then in April the price jumped to almost $300.00 for a Saturday night. Its crazy how drastic the change is. I am paying Friday night prices for a Saturday night reception and I have a 150 min. I am having 200 people so the winter season really helped cutting costs.

sgdc2011 · January 2012

It really depends on your crowd, we had a lot of out of towners so an afternoon wedding just wouldn't have worked for us, plus I personally am just not a fan of afternoon weddings, to me it's less of a party atmosphere and too much food for that time of day. Go with your gut, whatever you choose, I'm sure you will love it.

HobokensFury · January 2012

I personally wouldn't throw a Saturday afternoon wedding. It just wouldn't work with my style/crowd. Have you considered a Sunday afternoon or a Friday night? You may be able to get a good deal.

kristen8040 · January 2012

My sister had an afternoon wedding, and it just didn't seem the same as at night. People didn't drink or dance as much as they did at other weddings. I knew for me, afternoon was just not something I wanted, I was more flexible with a different month or day of the weekend.

On the otherhand, I think I would be willing to go with an afternoon wedding if the venue I loved was not a possiblity at night. I wouldn't want to risk the place or food just for time of day.

Giaspo · January 2012

What a tough decision. We knew we wanted a night-time wedding, and moved it to Friday to save $$. Are you madly in love with this venue? Could they do a Friday? A lot of people have summer hours which makes Fridays a bit easier. If you love the venue and a day wedding is the best option, I think you will be fine. Maybe you can make a note about the after-party somewhere too so more people stay at the hotel.

schrieverj · January 2012

I have been to a Friday wedding that started at 5:30 and we were rushing to get home from work, get ready, and make it there in time. I've also been to a Sunday wedding which was just an inconvenient for my husband who had to work the next morning. I really enjoy myself at a Saturday night wedding, knowing that the weekend is not over and there is a full day to recover afterward. With that said, I think it's ridiculous to pay $300 a person for a wedding! I understand the desire to have it cost less by going with an afternoon wedding, BUT $150 a person for a daytime wedding is still absurd. Something like that should cost $50pp. We had a Saturday night wedding down the shore for $80pp all inclusive of tips/tax. I would seriously consider another venue if I were you. I also think that the above comments about people not wanting to drink/party as much during the day is definitely true. Dimming the lights will help but it's just natural not to indulge as much during the day. I'm sure it's a tough decision so I hope I could shed some light. Good luck!

DoubleAS · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_hard-decision?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:ee85b1f1-b389-4a9e-bc5f-8a1948bf0334Post:be26a2f1-be28-43f4-b4b3-1a75b6be5514">Re: So hard to make a decision!</a>:
[QUOTE]I have been to a Friday wedding that started at 5:30 and we were rushing to get home from work, get ready, and make it there in time. I've also been to a Sunday wedding which was just an inconvenient for my husband who had to work the next morning. I really enjoy myself at a Saturday night wedding, knowing that the weekend is not over and there is a full day to recover afterward. With that said, I think it's ridiculous to pay $300 a person for a wedding! I understand the desire to have it cost less by going with an afternoon wedding, BUT $150 a person for a daytime wedding is still absurd. Something like that should cost $50pp. We had a Saturday night wedding down the shore for $80pp all inclusive of tips/tax. I would seriously consider another venue if I were you. I also think that the above comments about people not wanting to drink/party as much during the day is definitely true. Dimming the lights will help but it's just natural not to indulge as much during the day. I'm sure it's a tough decision so I hope I could shed some light. Good luck!
Posted by schrieverj[/QUOTE]

<div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="896263416-20012012"><font face="Bell MT" color="#000080">I have to agree with the above post completely. While I understand wanting the venue of your dreams and negotiating price, most of us have been there... Is $150.00/pp reasonable for a Saturday afternoon? I think it's insane but that's just me. Was there another venue that you and your fiance considered that was a "runner up?" Would it suffice? Can you have an add ons that would bring it to the level of the venue that you love?</font></span></div><div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="896263416-20012012"></span></div><div dir="ltr" align="left"><span class="896263416-20012012"><font face="Bell MT" color="#000080">Do you mind telling us which venue is is? I have been to an afternoon wedding which I didn't love for numerous reasons ESP bc the venue (single party at a time) was pushing us out to set up for the next wedding that night. That was the icing on the (wedding) cake. Either way, I think you have to go with your gut, heart, and what you think will work for your fiance and you.</font></span></div>

BlissfullyTired · January 2012

I had a Sunday wedding at 3:00pm and it was perfect. I too thought the only way to go was a Saturday night but like you, the venue of my dreams was over $300 for Sat night. No one left early and all my friends and relatives took off the next day. It was perfect!

So hard to make a decision!

Re: So hard to make a decision!

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