Cocktail Reception vs. Sit Down Dinner

LauraBNL · January 2011

Has anyone been to a wedding where they had h'or dourves instead or a sit down meal? We are considering have just a cocktail reception. We want the evening to be less formal and structured than most weddings we've been to and may have most of the speeches at the Rehearsal dinner. I am just wondering if we should have a place setting for each person or does everyone just mingle around? Our caterer serves at 7. I was thinking having the reception start 6:30 or 7. I am just wondering if people will get restless if they don't have a seat, and/or bored if the dance doesn't start until 9. We also thought about having a person play guitar during the food service and we could possibly do our first dance as soon as we are introduced. Does anyone have any input on this or an idea of a "schedule" for a cocktail reception?

Simply Fated · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_cocktail-reception-vs-sit-down-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:2f133d95-549c-44c9-ae83-c05d86d4a0b9Post:54c1149f-d4d0-496d-9f91-d5230c136f00">Cocktail Reception vs. Sit Down Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]Has anyone been to a wedding where they had h'or dourves instead or a sit down meal? We are considering have just a cocktail reception. We want the evening to be less formal and structured than most weddings we've been to and may have most of the speeches at the Rehearsal dinner. I am just wondering if we should have a place setting for each person or does everyone just mingle around? Our caterer serves at 7. I was thinking having the reception start 6:30 or 7. I am just wondering if people will get restless if they don't have a seat, and/or bored if the dance doesn't start until 9. We also thought about having a person play guitar during the food service and we could possibly do our first dance as soon as we are introduced. Does anyone have any input on this or an idea of a "schedule" for a cocktail reception?
Posted by LauraBNL[/QUOTE]
Well, here's the thing... you are having your reception during dinnertime, but you aren't serving dinner.
With no substantial food, no music or dancing for the first two hours, and no proper place for the guests to sit, you run the risk of guests bouncing out early to get food. And possibly getting bored. I strongly suggest pushing the start time back, giving guests a chance to eat dinner first, then coming to the ceremony/reception at 9ish for dancing and light appetizers.

kaesha · January 2011

Even if you do have an hors d'oeuvres reception, you would definitely need places for people to sit - especially if you want them to stick around long enough to dance. Seriously, if I'm asked to stand through more than one speech, my feet get achy in the heels.

Believe it or not, most people actually like structure and knowing what to expect. Cocktail hours are usually an hour for a reason - it's the optimal amount of time to get in the talking and mingling before moving on to the next activity.

So you really have two options: either host a dinner or have a cocktail reception starting at 8 or so.

NOLAbridealmost · January 2011

OP, I am not sure what's normal in your area, but where I am from it's highly unusual to do a sit-down dinner (I am aware that sit-down dinners are the norms for many people, I just wanted to mention that some places rarely do them and no one goes hungry).

But a purely hors d'oeuvres (HD's) reception does NOT necessarilly equal not enough food. Some of the best weddings I've attended had a TON of food in HD form. Just make sure to offer lots and lots of food. People won't care whether it's brought out on one plate during a dinner, available in a buffet, or passed around very, very frequently on trays. If it's filling it's filling.

The only thing to make SURE of is that there are enough chairs for all people to sit at all times. Place cards are not necessary---and in fact would be weird during a purely HD reception--but make sure that if you invite 100 people there are about 110-120 chairs (to allow for flexibility w/o place cards).

LauraBNL · January 2011

The food offerings, although h'or doeuvres, are quite substantial. There will be hand served shrimp and scallops, a small buffet containing wings, meatballs, chicken satays and chicken poquitoes and a mashed potato martini bar. There will also be a chocolate fountain and a coffee and tea station, plus trays of grapes, cheese and crackers. (I am getting hungry thinking about it lol!!) I am not sure if they put out everything at once or serve it in phases. I'll have to talk to the caterer about that. I guess considering this, maybe I should have seating for everyone to take the small plates of food. So I guess I could have a structure a little more like a sit-down meal but with the appetizers!
This option is costing just a much as a sit-down meal but we really like the selection and we have been to many weddings that all serve similar chicken meals so we want something different.

kaesha · January 2011

Okay then, if you're serving enough food to cover a full meal, then absolutely have it at that time (the selection sounds delicious). But, yes, definitely, you need enough chairs for people to sit down and relax at. You could always set up different areas of the room - an area with bar tables and stools, an area with traditional chairs and tables, and maybe a lounge area with couches and coffee tables. I think how you physically set up the room will really help dictate the mood.

And FWIW, it's spelled hors d'oeuvre(s). There's no weird placement of the apostrophe with the h.

LauraBNL · January 2011

Thanks for the input!
I can never get the spelling down of hors d'oeuvre I will have to note that!!!

kaesha · January 2011

LOL! You're not the only one. I feel like I should put a sticky at the top of the board!

RebeccaB88 · January 2011

I think it sounds like you have plenty of yummy food. Just make sure there is a seat for every butt in attendance and let me know what time to be there.

Cocktail Reception vs. Sit Down Dinner

Re: Cocktail Reception vs. Sit Down Dinner

Choose Another Board

Search Boards