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Iowa-Des Moines
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Registry

hsbstonehsbstone
100 Comments
in Iowa-Des Moines
Because this is not our first marriage and we have everything that someone may want in a house doubled, registry has not been our main concern. But when families and friends start asking where we've been registered and we have not what to say, we came up with the idea of registering for our honeymoon in Europe - what could be a great help once the currency there is not favorable for the US dollars. So we are sort of starting it...is anyone going for this honeymoon registry here???
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Re: Registry

  • deregniernderegniern
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    we have done one since we are in a similar situation with having a lot of house stuff already.  We have done a registry at Target and Kohls for a couple of things we could use.  I know there are some people who are not as computer savvy and would prefer to shop for something in a store.  We have ours set up on honeyfund.  I know this can be a touchy subject depending on where you post this topic on the knot... dont post it on the honeymoon board.  I have seen some less than kind comments on there.  Glad to hear someone else is taking this route too.  Where are you guys planning to go in Europe? 

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  • hsbstonehsbstone
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Derigniern we want to go to German, Austria, Italy and France. We may invert the order if we manage to find a good cruise on the Baltic because FI haven't been there yet. Where are you going on your honeymoon?
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  • ks107021ks107021
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Are there things you could use new of?  If you don't need anything you could simply answer the "where are you registered" question, with "we don't really need anything, thank you.  Your presence at the wedding is enough".  If you really don't "need" anything.  

    I  think honeymoon registries are very frowned upon and you are basically asking for money.  If people want to give you money they will, otherwise they usually wish to give you a gift.  Here in Iowa HM registries are not very common either. 

    Good luck with your decision! 
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  • deregniernderegniern
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    hsbstone, we are planning about a week and a half in Paris.  We were going to do Athens, Rome, and Florence but decided we wanted to go somewhere neither of us had been.  I was in Italy on a school trip a couple of years ago.  So, to Paris it is. 

    On the topic of a honeymoon registry... I have never understood the logic behind people being upset about them.  An invitation to a wedding is like an invitation to give the bride and groom a gift or money.  Would you really ever show up to a wedding without a gift even if it was only something small?  I know I wouldn't.  Why give a couple who already has everything they need a bunch of junk they aren't going to use.  That seems like a waste of money to me.  I think it all boils down to the guests you have at the wedding.  If they are ok with it then it shouldn't be an issue.  All of our friends and family think it is a great idea.  I think this is a topic most have to agree to disagree on.
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  • ks107021ks107021
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_iowa-des-moines_registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:80Discussion:be4cc086-a1fd-446c-aa7c-260a0f3281f9Post:75e22333-9eec-4ab3-b98a-3a7fcb98c06f">Re: Registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]  <strong>An invitation to a wedding is like an invitation to give the bride and groom a gift or money</strong>.  Would you really ever show up to a wedding without a gift even if it was only something small?  I know I wouldn't.  Why give a couple who already has everything they need a bunch of junk they aren't going to use.  That seems like a waste of money to me.  I think it all boils down to the guests you have at the wedding.  If they are ok with it then it shouldn't be an issue.  All of our friends and family think it is a great idea.  I think this is a topic most have to agree to disagree on.
    Posted by deregniern[/QUOTE]

    You don't seriously think that do you?  I am inviting guests to my wedding to share in the joy of my marriage with my fi and I.  An invitation to my wedding is <em>not </em>an invitation for a gift or money!  And people don't think they are giving you junk, usually they buy something they think you will like or that they like.  Most of the time you can take gifts back if you think it's "junk". 

    You are right HM registries are a touchy subject, but that statement is ridiculous! 
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  • deregniernderegniern
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm simply stating imo people seem to think that attached to a wedding invitation is also a gift.  I have seen people beef up their guest list just to they can get more stuff.  I have also seen people get their nose bent out of shape when people don't send gifts even though they wont make it to the wedding.  That is ridiculous imo.  We are inviting people to our wedding also because we want them to share the day with us, not b/c I want money from them. 

    I'm saying in this society, people invite people to things like baby showers, wedding showers, weddings, birthday parties, etc. and there seems to be the unspoken expectation that a gift is involved.  Would you show up to a baby shower with no gift or a wedding shower with no gift?? NO!! That is the answer.  You wouldn't because people would look at you and think what a tight wad.  Same goes with weddings.  I have seen people sit there and study the size of gifts people are bringing in to a wedding... this unfortunately is a fact of society.  And...

    Yes, it is true when I get a wedding invitation while I think oh, I'm so glad they want me to join in their celebration with them.  I also think crap, what am I going to get these people.  I like to think that is why people make registries of any variety... to give people a guide for what they might like.  While dear aunt Deb may have the best of intentions with her steam vac or whatever, having not seen dear Aunt Deb in 10 years I'm guessing she may not have a clue about what could be useful for the newlyweds.  Hence, we have registries to guide guests to things the bride and groom would like to receive.  If people are going to have beef with honeymoon registries, they should have beef with all registries.  They are all one in the same in my mind... they get at the same end result, and that is not an arguable point imo.
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  • hsbstonehsbstone
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Well, I am with Deregniern when she says that some invitation always implies in  giving some sort of gifts like the events you have cited.
     
    I am holding my wedding in Iowa because I want to have FI's family to share in the joy of our marriage and I am sure they know this because I've received many cards and emails appreciating the fact that I am doing this for the pleasure of having a family reunion that will please FI and his family.
    They all know that I am European, that I have family and a house there, and that I go there at least once per year at my own expense, so I don't think that it will be the case. I think they want really to reciprocate my attention to them.

    KS, I understand your point, and I know that's a new thing and as many new things, there is a resistance to it. Some will be for it, some will be against for while. 

    Deregniern, I am pretty sure you will love Paris. It's one of my favorite cities in all the world! When I go back to Europe and for some reason I can't go to Paris I get very upset!!! Excellent choice!!!

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  • EllenG27EllenG27
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would like to add one thought to the discussion here - One of the reasons honeymoon registries are frowned upon is because a honeymoon is an extra luxury, not something everybody gets to do. A crock pot and a pots and pans or a toaster, these are things that are intended to give the couple for them to start their married life together.
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  • hsbstonehsbstone
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with your view to a point also Ellen, but a wedding gift is not given with an intention to make the new couple enjoy it? And if they have everything, doubled, and don't need anything else, but the guests keep asking about a gift and won't take no as an answer, mainly because they want to reciprocate your courtesy of organizing a wedding in their city (WHERE I HAD BEEN JUST ONCE FOR 8 DAYS ONLY) because you want them to attend, what you are suppose to do? Look like a snob saying " no I really don't need anything else" , or offering an alternate way for them to give the gift they really want to give to you? Like they say in Italy, I am what I am plus my circumstance!!!
    If I had any doubt about it, now I know for sure that I did the right thing!!
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