October 2012 Weddings

Rehearsal Dinner - Vent & Suggestions

My FMIL has been bothering FI for a while now. Since they have helped pay for a majority of the actual wedding, they want my family (particularly my dad) to pay for the rehearsal dinner.



I stood my ground for awhile and told them that if my parents could do it, then they would have offered. We knew coming into planning my family was not going to be able to help financially. I was lucky that my dad was able to purchase my dress (Yay for sales) Eventually I gave in, and mentioned to my dad what we were planning for our rehearsal dinner and if there was ANYTHING he could contribute, no matter how big or small. He said he'd be able to put forth like $50.



When I mentioned this to FMIL, she freaked! She told me to tell him not to even bother. Which is fine with me, I didn't want to ask in the 1st place. But I won't be as snarky as she was of course.



But now we need to think of cheap alternatives that FI and I can pay for ourselves. Normally I would love to have everybody at our house and have a cook out or order 2 of the huge 42" pizzas from Big Lou's. However, the wedding is 2 hours OOT and we are all driving up the day of the rehearsal and meeting all our OOT wedding party there. Then we are staying the night.

October '12
~MARRIED 10.11.12~

Re: Rehearsal Dinner - Vent & Suggestions

  • what were you originally planning to do and how much was it going to cost?
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  • Are there any pizza places (or wings/whatever) near the wedding venue that you could use?  Times like this are when I'm very happy for review sites like yelp, because they usually are a good gauge on places that are good vs. disgusting.
  • I'm having the same problem, but opposite.  My family has paid for over half of the wedding, with FI and I paying the rest.  I guess why I'm upset is because they just never mentioned it.  Never said "we'd love to help, but can't"  they never even ask how planning is going or anything.  it's like they don't care. 

    your FMIL needs slapped though.  that's rude.  $50 is $50.  every little bit helps. 
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  • Why does your FMIL need to know how much your Dad is or isn't contributing to the wedding? His financial status is NONE of their business. If my FMIL asked how much my Dad was putting in I would tell her (politely) that he's doing what he can and the exact amount is between him and me/FI.

    Why don't you and your FI cover the RD? FI and I are just doing pizza and wings. There is no rule that it has to be in a restaurant or be fancy.
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  • That was pretty rude of your fmil. I agree completely with achiduck, his financial business is none of hers.
    I would make sure in the future they are not informed of his contributions, whatever they may be.
    If you have a place for everyone to eat (say, at the venue after you are finished rehearsing)you could order in subs (they make party platters) for a bit of a different take on ordering pizza.

    If you do not have a venue you could use, maybe research a local park you could have it at?

    Goodluck!
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  • OK this might sound bad but if you think you have to go bigger than pizza (which I think is fine), how about chinese buffet? At least you know how much pp and can budget :)
  • WE are doing a bbq ... and the only people coming are the wedding party and FMIL, FFIL (heck my dad and step mom aren't coming, my brother isn't coming), so my BM isn't coming which I am fine with... it is more a get together and talk before ... etc

    AS long as my MOH is there :P
  • There is nothing wrong with pizza!!  In fact, I'm thinking I would almost rather have pizza and a beer instead of the restaurant we are doing.  Your FMIL was super rude, and you never should have told them the $ amount.  You and your FI just find a nice, but cheap place to host....pizza is approved by most here!  Also, there aren't any fun pizza parlors there, if all of your OOT guests and you are staying in a hotel, find out if they have a meeting room or something that you could use for free.  Then you could order in (really anything you wanted).

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  • i really don't see the point of a rehersal dinner...our rehersal is 2 days before our wedding and at 7 or 7:30 in the evening (becuase it's a friday and people work).  my in-laws offered to pay for the dinner but we probably aren;t going to do anything becuase we will both ahve worked all day and just want to go home and sleep.  plus, the day after will be busy adn we will need rest for that.

    i suggest you not feel like you HAVE to do anything even if FMIL insists you do.
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