So Disappointed and Frustrated

jennylee813 · January 2013

So I finally found a new scale. Remember me saying that my old one was at least 10lbs off? It got beaten up during our move and I wasn't sure that it was accurate anymore. I got a new one today, and it reads the same as the other one.

That means I've got 24lbs to go, not 14. It also means that I've been working really hard and not getting ANY results. Guess it's time to rethink everything I've been doing.

I feel like I've been living a lie - thinking I'm smaller than I actually am.

Not a good day to be me...

J&K10910 · January 2013

It is not at all likely that you've been working really hard and not getting ANY results. And I think you spend enough time here to know that.

The number on the scale is not at all an accurate reflection of your "results." Are you smaller? You think (or thought) you were. Why did you think that? Was it because your clothes were too big? Because things looked better?

In the event that you really haven't gotten any smaller, tell us what you're doing and maybe we can figure out why.

jennylee813 · January 2013

I know I'm not supposed to get caught up in the number on the scale. I didn't even have one for a really long time (coincidentially it was when I was at my heaviest. Even when I started going to the gym at that point, I wouldn't have one, just used the one there). After two weeks of Insanity my waist increased an inch. Overall, my measurements haven't been changing.

I know that I don't drink enough, and have been trying to remedy that, but honestly, my bladder is so small that increasing my water intake is nothing short of torturous. Several of my cousins have had their bladders inflated for the same reason. I haven't gone that route, but there are some evenings after supper when I can pee every half an hour. It doesn't make me want to drink more.

Cardio is supposed to make a difference, but again, I do 30 minutes of intervals a day. I traded in weight training for body weight training, and typically change my workouts once a month, before my body can adapt.

Soda is really my only vice. I've had to cut down on grains because of an intolerance, but that isn't a big deal; I have never been a real bread eater anyway. I'm not someone who over-eats, and I've been tracking on MFP, so that's pretty consistent. In fact, I'm typically a couple of hundred calories (approximately) under, so I've been trying to increase my calories. It keeps telling me that I'm going to lose a bunch of weight, but at the same time it's telling me that I'm eating too few calories and risk starvation mode - how can it be both???

Anyway, I'm mostly confused and having a pity party now. I thought I was farther along then I am. I wanted to be at my goal by April, so I could work on maintaining in the last new months leading to the wedding. I want to be at a consistant weight for a while before TTC, and wanted to look at that this coming fall.

J&K10910 · January 2013

When you say 30 minutes of intervals: do you mean HIIT? Because you should NOT do that every day. It probably doesn't have anything to do with your weight loss issues, but just for reference.

Are you being really honest with your tracking? Are you measuring things or guessing? If you're not measuring, I'd recommend trying that for a few weeks to see what difference it makes in your tracking.

I'm not going to tell you to cut soda out because it will magically fix things. I drink soda. You can lose weight while drinking it. But again, be sure you're being honest with your tracking. Also, if you're drinking caffeinated soda, that can increase your bathroom trips and increase your dehydration, so cutting down a little might allow you to increase your water intake. Though that alone is not going to magically cause you lose weight either.

Have you seen a doctor with your concerns?

J&K10910 · January 2013

And? I totally get being disappointed and frustrated. I would too. I have! I've been there. I think most of us have at some point. But don't let it derail you completely (been there, also).

Know that even though it's infuriating to not lose weight, that at the very least you're making better healthier choices, and I guarantee you your body is happier now than before you made these healthy lifestyle changes.

jennylee813 · January 2013

I agree with the things you're saying J&K, and the logical part of my brain gets it, it really does. It's just the part that has been doing this forever, and has worked for every pound I've lost. Today it was like I magically gained ten of them back again, in a single minute ...

And no, it won't derail me. I'll have my pity party and move on, just like always. I keep talking about it being a lifestyle, and it is, I just thought I was better at it, that's all!

I measure my food, and no, I'm not doing HIIT - I maintain my speed and do hill intervals, varying my workout daily.

Nothing has ever shown up when I've taken this to my doctor, but I refuse to believe that I'm meant to be this size.

LizM61409 · January 2013

Caffiene and carbonation are bladder irritants and can make you need to void more frequently. I bet cutting them out would help the bladder issue

jennylee813 · January 2013

Okay, so after an evening of research (and my own pity party), I have crunched even more numbers and found out the following:

MFP has me set at 1300 calories a day, and I typically gain 350 ish additional ones for exercise.

I calculated my TDEE according to the military fitness site that one of the posters there used to explain how it works, and 20% of my TDEE is 1622. More people seem to have success following that, and since it never varies baced on activity, it's easier to keep track of.

Both are pretty close, but the TDEE doesn't account for eating back calories, so that means if I follow their rules, I'm always under my caloric intake by a lot. No shock. I've posted repeatedly that eating enough has always been my challenge.

Bottom line: I'm going to have to do some serious work on my calories. Most days I average 1100-1200 (and that was with pepsi). It isn't a deliberate thing on my part; I just don't 'like' to eat. I'm trying to take more pleasure in it and experiment with healthier choices etc, and that is working a bit - but setbacks like today do make it hard to keep the momentum up, KWIM?

And LizM, whether I drink soft drinks or not, the bladder issue has always been there. When I was pregnant and having ultrasounds, it was hard for the technician to do them because my bladder filled so quickly. I'm one of the rare women who could go to the bathroom several times during the ultrasound and still see everything properly. For me to drink a 500ml bottle of water, I can expect a trip to the bathroom every 15-20 minutes for a couple of hours.

AdeleDazeem · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_getting-shape_so-disappointed-and-frustrated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:238Discussion:d00bdac8-9281-423d-bc92-5456abfc2f20Post:b6bc0c09-0a73-404f-b478-1f78faff92e3">Re: So Disappointed and Frustrated</a>:
[QUOTE] I know that I don't drink enough, and have been trying to remedy that, but honestly, my bladder is so small that increasing my water intake is nothing short of torturous. Several of my cousins have had their bladders inflated for the same reason. I haven't gone that route, but there are some evenings after supper when I can pee every half an hour. It doesn't make me want to drink more.
Posted by jennylee813[/QUOTE]

Oh, hai. Bladder problems? I have those.

I just wanted to say that you shouldn't beat yourself up over not drinking enough. After a bout of kidney stones (which I will battle my whole life - SCORE) and a kidney infection (unrelated), my bladder is significantly weakened. I'm jealous of people who can go out, drink a cup a coffee and walk around for hours. My body no longer works that way.

Anyway, when people say they are drinking 3 L of water a day, my eyes are literally bugging out of my head. I get about 1 L total in me each day and I consider that a resounding success. I used to force myself to drink more and I was going to the bathroom once every ten minutes with a painful, full bladder. That's no life, I'll tell you. There's general guidelines and then there's reality.

Unfortunately, I still get up 3-4 times a night even with drinking less, but that's life.

jennylee813 · January 2013

Thanks Joy. Glad to know I'm not the only one, but sorry that you're dealing with this stuff.

As long as I'm not dehydrated, I figure I'm doing fine. I've never had 3L to drink in a day, ever!

julespinkribbon · January 2013

i'd like to ask you something....

How did you feel when you thought you lost the extra 10 lbs?

Then when you realized maybe you didn't lose it?

Answer those two questions and look at what a silly number does to your emotions. So whether you are 10 lbs heavier, or 10 lbs lighter, it shouldn't be the reason whether you are feeling great about yourself, or shitty about yourself.

You are doing what you can...keep moving forward and remind yourself that it's just a number! Don't beat yourself up over it.

jennkaun · January 2013

So to me it sounds like you're doing a lot of things right! Drinking more water may help a bit, but if your bladder can't do it, then whats the point? I work in a medical laboratory, and I would suggest getting your TSH levels checked. This tests how your thyroid gland is working. If the result is even slightly high, it can mean your thyroid isn't working optimally which lowers your metabolism. That can make it hard to lose weight even if your doing everything right.

Good luck!

jennylee813 · January 2013

Thanks ladies, you always know how to make me feel better!

Kwith, I should eat more nuts - I just wish we could eat them at school. I find that by the end of the day I have so many calories left to eat that I end up eating late in the evening (which I don't want to do), and I make bad choices, just to meet a goal.

Jules, I've never been a slave to the numbers, it was just devestating to see a ten pound increase from where I thought I was. I knew that for the amount of work I've been doing my results werne't great, but that's me - I have to work REALLY hard for every pound. I was chalking it up to that.

Jenn, the last time I had my thyroid checked everything was normal, so I'm not sure if anything has changed. I guess it's something else to consider.

This week I will make a very conscious effort to eat 1600-1700 calories and see how that goes. It goes against everything I've always thought I should be doing.

Cross your fingers for me!

shaunalee715 · January 2013

Hey! I didn't have time to read all of these responses, but I get your frustration. I have always had a hard time losing weight because of lack of motivation or whatever other reason. I, like you have a very small bladder. Because of that, I have never had the correct amount of water each day. After talking about my frustrations with a nutritionist, I was told that by drinking the correct amount of water each day, or even a little more, I would most likely see results. Well, since doing this, I have seen results! I went from losing about 1/2 lb a week or less, to losing a solid 1-3 lbs. each week I have watched my water intake. I'm not going to lie, going to the bathroom 389543 times a day kind of sucks, but it is so worth it now that I am finally seeing results!
FYI: I don't drink any water at 7-8 pm. I usually go to bed around 10, and I have found that if I stop my water intake around that time, I usually don't have to get up at night, or only get up once. The first week I increased the amount of water I was drinking, I was up 4-5 times a night!

Good luck!!!

cnf2013 · January 2013

I really don't think anything I could add at this point would be terribly constructive, but I'm also a chronic undereater (unintentionally. I just have a really hard time eating enough nutrient dense, low calorie foods to get enough calories) and I also have a hard time with drinking enough water. I drink black coffee until lunch then I switch to water the rest of the day. And even though it's all I drink for like 2/3 of my day I'm still lucky if I can get more then 4 cups of water in. I try realllllllyyyyy hard to drink enough too.

Also, as far as scale accuracy goes, I'd suggest you plop a weight on it. Weights are accurate and it will give you a good indicator of how off your scale might be.

julespinkribbon · January 2013

I have a meal plan that i stick to day and and day out. I literally don't stray from it. It keeps me on track and it works when I need to lose, gain, or maintain.

I suggest for anyone, make a meal plan and stick to it. Brown bag your lunches, pre make your dinners and have simple and convenient breakfasts. Measuring cups are your friend. Measure out serving sizes and put them in snack baggies for your snacks.

Breakfast: greek yogurt with granola or oatmeal or egg white omelette

mid morning snack: hand full of raw almonds or string cheese

lunch: 3 oz lean meat with lettuce and tomato or 2 tbl spn. pb on whole grain bread

dinner: (chicken/fish/tofu and veggies)

night snack: (fruit)

change it to your diet needs---this is just an example of a meal plan, not something you should use. but i make a meal plan and stick to it completely. don't forget to include water continuously throughout the day. On days you workout, add a low cal protein shake.

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