this is the code for the render ad
Honeymoon Discussions

No honeymoon/back to work the next day - how to deal?

Hi all - so, my fiance has been studying for a really major professional licensing exam, and he was planning on taking it 1 week before our wedding. It turns out that he probably won't be ready for it then (several other personal setbacks disrupted his study plans, and his score on the exam is pretty important for his career) - so he is going to postpone it until 2-3 weeks after the wedding and continue studying right after the big day. Sadly, we had made arrangements to have a large chunk of time off right after the wedding, so I am finishing work the week before (I'm starting grad school in the fall). So now I'm envisioning the day after our wedding, when my fiance sits down with his books again and I suddenly have no work and no wedding to plan, but also no trip to take with him.

I'm hoping for some emotional/personal advice... for folks who did not take honeymoons, what was it like to go back to work the day after your wedding? Did anyone spend the first few weeks after the wedding apart from their spouse? (When he's studying, it's kind of like we're apart, since I only see him for about an hour each night.) Did anyone else have big personal changes like moving or changing jobs or leaving work right around their wedding? I'm a little worried about my emotional state - it's been hard over the past few months with his studying and my work schedule, and I kept saying "it's OK, you'll get to do nothing but spend time with him right after you get married," and I don't know how I'll handle the transition. I'd really appreciate any advice you all might have!

Re: No honeymoon/back to work the next day - how to deal?

  • dalm0mdalm0m member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I know about important exams but can you persuade him to even take 1 day off.  If you can splurge on that it will hopefully ease your pain as you have to wait for the HM.  But then when you go & he has passed his exam, it will be that much sweeter. 
  • We got married Saturday and went back to work on Tuesday. It really wasn't a big deal.
     
      Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I wouldn't let this bother you too much.  Just envision after he's done with his exam, maybe you guys could take a weekend getaway or something short and sweet until you take an official HM.  Good luck!
    Visit The Nest! Visit The Nest! Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • DH had an exam two days after our wedding. He was studying in the car on the way home.  When finally went away - even though it was 6 months later, it felt like it was so much more of a celebration.
  • I agree-have a big celebration/vacation after he's done with his exam. It's fine to put the HM off for awhile.

    As far as how to deal when things are "back to normal" the day after. Can he take a few hour study break to go out for a nice dinner or to the movies or on a date of some kind the day after? Time to sit down and talk about the wedding, relish in being married, etc. Even just something small like that I think will help.


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Vacation
  • edited May 2012
    We didn't have a honeymoon after our wedding, back to work for the both of us.  There's a fair amount of people who don't take their honeymoon after the wedding.  We are actually not going on our honeymoon until a day before our first anniversary.  Yeah, not having a honeymoon after your wedding is a bummer (it sucks not gonna lie!) but make a plan sometime in the next year to take one, and book it!  You'll have something to look forward to.  I was also told by several people that not taking your honeymoon right after your wedding can be a good thing.  She said that it took her about 4 days into the honeymoon to wind down and really be able to start to enjoy the honeymoon.  

    Immediately after the wedding you both will most likely be physically and emotionally exhausted.  Book a room somewhere in town for the next night.   Have a mini moon.  :)
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • bongebonge member
    100 Comments
    what about cancelling your vacation time to take a hm when he is all done?
    230 image Invited
    154 image Are ready to party
    56 image Missing out
    20 image Can't find the mailbox (tick tock)

    RSVP Date: 6/1/2012
  • Why not just go after he takes his exam?  We'll have our honeymoon right after our wedding, but since my FI will be starting PA school two months later, that's the only vacation we'll get until he's done with school (for some reason PA schools run 27 or 28 months nonstop).  We'll be moving right after that too.  See if he can take one day off to spend with you (I'm sure he can manage that since he pushed the exam back by a few weeks).  Go to dinner or just lay around all day and spend time together.  Seriously?  There's no reason to leave your home/apartment/whatever.  Order delivery and cuddle up in bed just enjoying each other's company.  I know it sucks not going straight on your honeymoon.  I'd be disappointed too, but you can make the best of it.  Good luck with everything!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker PersonalMilestone
  • My FI has to take a class starting the Monday after we get married... we were incredibly bummed, but it was 110% unavoidable. We moved our honeymoon to a month later and now I'm really looking forward to it! A friend of mine pointed out that it was like drawing out the wedding festivities for a whole month, which is kinda cool when you think about it.
    We're able to go on a mini-moon, which is what I would suggest for you guys too.  Maybe you could rent an amazing wedding night hotel just for a night (two if you can), so you can devote your complete attention to being married.  That monday I'm thinking about having sort of a "spa day", just to give me wedding-excitement closure and time to reflect on everything. 

    Also, I have a lot of goals around the house (stuff I don't have the energy to do right now), like finishing painting the walls and making a slip-cover for the couch.  If you have some ideas like that, it won't seem like ALL of a sudden you have nothing to do!
  • I'm going to be going through something similar. We are having a destination wedding, so wedding and honeymoon in one, but as soon as we return, I have to go my separate way. We currently live in two different states and, at least as of right now, there isn't a plan to change that. I ended up getting a really good job offer away from home and it was hard to pass up. Our plan is to take some time off around Thanksgiving (we're getting married in August) and take another vacation. I do see him on most weekends, as we fly back and forth all of the time, but 2 days is never really enough. I recommend what pps are saying and take some time off after the exam to be together.

     







  • take a day off first, spend it together and then go back to work a day later.  you won't die :)

    but i agree-take the HM after the test.

     

  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I started a brand new job (after 22 months of involuntary unemployment) 2 days after the wedding.  I just smiled and got down to it.  Having a plan for a honeymoon can help.  Once you find a good time to take the honeymoon, you'll have a ball planning it.  We took our honeymoon 6 months after the wedding ... just chilled on the beach in Aruba for 8 days.  Ahhhh ....
  • MayboneMaybone member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    We aren't planning a HM for right after.  A good friend is having a wedding a month after ours, in FL.  We were already planning on attending that and making a big vacation out of it, so that will be our HM. After we get married, it'll be a day or two then back to work.  I don't think it'll be a big deal, but I also won't have a DH that's busy studying.

    Like PP said, can't he at least take a day off to enjoy his new wife?  I know all too well about preparing for a BIG test, but sometimes a little fun is a good thing!
    Sept. 13 March Siggy Challenge: hair inspiration
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Wow, thank you all so much for your support! It's so, so helpful to hear from other brides facing similar things... I think I needed some time to just adjust to the new plan, and with all of your advice, I'm feeling much better about it. We will definitely do the wedding night in a nice hotel, though we have a big family brunch the next day so I'm not sure it will feel much like a mini-moon :) Also, plans have started to come together for after his exam, and though it won't be anywhere near as relaxing as our original plan, it will be something good. Thank you all, again!
  • I ended up deploying right after my husband and I got married.  It sucked.. Its a year later and we still havent been on a honeymoon and I'm deploying again.  At least it gives me something to look forward to while deployed... One Day we will have our honeymoon!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards