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Reluctant post :'(

wishingstar4jmwishingstar4jm
First Comment
in Nevada-Las Vegas
It's been a week since I spoke with my FI. Long story short, he sent me an email saying that I am too bossy and controlling and he doesn't want to live his life that way. To make matters ten times worse, he hasnt responded to my calls, texts or emails. Even worst, he doesn't even live in the US. I just booked a ticket to go see him. I have to try and save my relationship. My sister is furious at me for doing that because that would be considered bossy and controlling again. I should have given him space and time. I'm sorry but I think 5000+ miles is space enough and I want to show him that I am fighting for our relationship. I just need to vent ladies. I don't know what else to do. The man of my dreams, my soul mate, my heart has turned his back on me. :'(
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Re: Reluctant post :'(

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    starryeyed77starryeyed77 member
    First Comment
    I'm so sorry, that must be so hard! You know your fiance and relationship, you should do what you feel you need to do.  Sending hugs your way.
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    mizutamababymizutamababy member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    I'm not sure what's the best course of action... but I definitely think it's hard to solve anything apart.

    Long distance relationships can be tough- DH and I did it for a year while we were dating and we almost broke up several times.  I think without the other person there it's difficult to remember all the good things you shared together at times, especially when you see other couples together and start comparing your own circumstances.

    I hope that he's just having a temporary case of cold feet and that you two can work things out.  Good luck!
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    AilujaAiluja member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Sorry to hear about that. Certainly not a good sign with his blocking your ability to communicate with him. I would definitely have to go and see him in person myself.

    Good luck.
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    vegasgroomvegasgroom mod
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    Really sorry to hear this; I hope for the best for you.

    Married in Vegas - June 2011


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    HiltonsgirlHiltonsgirl member
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    Oh no! I for one am SO very sorry to hear this! If you recall, I recently went thru something similar. Only you know him, and can best decide how to handle this. Our circumstances aren't exactly the same, but for me, things got easier (regardless of a positive or negative outcome) after he stopped avoiding commutation and I had answers. (like you, I was blindsided and never expected it) How soon are you flying to talk to him? Agreed the chat is needed, but do not pressure or bombard him to talk...it may push him further away. Give him a few days WITHOUT trying to reach out to him at all, via any texts, emails or callls. You BOTH need time to think. THINK--about the FACTS. Meaning, try not to think with your heart or force a positive outcome. Be honest with yourself and admit to any glazed over negatives. (No relationship is perfect) After all...you're talking about the rest of your life! We may only know you via the knot...but I know everyone on this board wants you to be HAPPY in the end. {{{{{HUG}}}}} to you, and Good Luck! I hope everything works out....and it will,...either way. TRUST ME. BREATH! XOX
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    wishingstar4jmwishingstar4jm
    First Comment
    Thanks all. I leave on Tuesday afternoon but won't get there till Wednesday. I thought about trying not to reach out till I get there. That's hard in itself but I don't want to push him away any further. I'm just trying to keep calm. Hiltonsgirl: my heart sank when I read your post couple weeks back. I now can totally relate. This is the hardest thing ever. Will keep you posted. Good or bad I guess.
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    specialjunespecialjune
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    Im so sorry to hear this. I feel you should follow your heart but will offer you this advice as i have dealt with my fiance doing the dissapearing/not answering the call act in the past (prior to engagement) for similar reasons. If the two of you decide to proceed. Please see a pre marital counselor. For me there was nothing more unsettling than having the person i love think its acceptable to completely cut communication, listen to my messages and my crying and still not answer. It will take time to get past but if you agree to work together you can get through it. We got through it and have both made positive changes (which is why I am on here today) and i hope the same happens for you. However, he knows that going forward that is unacceptable. Follow your heart, do what you feel will honestly and truly make you hapy.
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    nycherylnycheryl
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    I'm very sorry to hear this and truly hope things work out quickly, regardless of the outcome.  I agree with Hiltonsgirl - be logical and talk through things.  If he doesn't come around, it wasn't meant to be.


    FI and I have been long distance (2500 miles apart, different countries) for three years.  It isn't easy.  You can't just sit and stare at each other.  You're forced to communicate, even when you don't want to.  If you can make it through the LDR part, you can make it through anything.  Good luck!
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    wishingstar4jmwishingstar4jm
    First Comment
    I'm keeping positive thoughts. I've actually decided to see a councillor for myself to see if there's some deep dark me that drove him away. But if this does turn out positive, I (we) will definitely continue to go. Thanks for all the thoughts. I will keep all updated. I leave on Tuesday and my stomach is already in knots! I hate the unknown! Geez!
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    HiltonsgirlHiltonsgirl member
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    It's Tuesday. Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you, and sending positive vibes. I hope things works out, just the way you'd like them to. I can personally relate to what you are going thru. Good luck. {{{Hug}}}
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