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Family In Thailand: Invitation or Announcement?

tayylor65tayylor65
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I have 2 uncles on my Dad's side who live in Bangkok; both are married and one has 3 late pre-school/early elementary age children with his wife. I haven't seen either in the past 5-6 years but growing up they were around pretty often so I had a good relationship with them both. 
Dad doesn't think we should send them invitations to our wedding in Oct. 2011 and instead just send announcements.  Seeing as it costs a lot to fly a family from Thailand, he thinks it's asking too much and would possibly just make them feel pressured to spend money they don't necessarily have, etc. 
Do you think it'd be nicer to send invitations and let them know we don't expect them to make the journey but that of course they're invited, or should we send announcements and explain it's because we don't want them to worry about trying to make the trip work but that of course we're thinking about them?
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Re: Family In Thailand: Invitation or Announcement?

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    Meaghann17Meaghann17 member
    First Comment
    I would still send an invite as the invite is your way of saying I wish you could come, and then they have to decide if they can or can't. i think it would be impolite to say here is an invite, but I dont expect you to come. Especially since they are uncles you have a close relationship with.

    but before you decide either way you should think about a few things.. how do you think they would feel if they werent invited? i think the reason people say don't send invites to people you know can't come is because you are supposed to send a gift if you cant go. but you are just unsure if they can't come, its also a ways away perhaps they could save to send even just the uncle or the aunt and uncle to come? i would tell them the date asap so they have some preparation.

    good luck!


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    mwhitson14mwhitson14 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Definitely send! You never know, they might use the wedding as an excuse to fly down and see family they haven't had a chance to see in a while.

    Also, don't say anything about "We don't expect you to make the journey. . ." because it already sounds like you don't care if they don't come. Just send them a regular invite, land et them the know the date ASAP.
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    tayylor65tayylor65
    First Comment
    I agree, I think we should send them both invitations, I was kind of surprised my Dad had the opinion he did.  I guess we'll just leave the ball in their court; if they can't make it work they wont come but at least they'd know it wasn't prejudged or whatnot.
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    LP11509LP11509 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    We invited people from Germany, Japan and Korea to our wedding.  1 person from Germany happened to be planning a trip to the states during our wedding time anyway, and another from Korea is coming.  You never know!  And if they can't afford it, they won't come. Simple. An invitation is not a summons.
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    twilight.rosetwilight.rose member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    I agree with PPs. Your family members might shock you and RSVP that they can attend. If they aren't in a financial situation to make the trip, they'll simply decline the invitation. Regardless of if they come or not, I'm sure your family will appreciate the gesture!
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    cat1121cat1121
    First Comment
    Send them an invite. Let them decide for themselves. Maybe they have a trip scheduled they can tack on.

    It's more inappropriate to assume you know about someones' finacnes.

    I've never felt the pressure to attend a wedding just because I have an invite. If I'm not that close or don't have the funds, I send regrets.
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    mrscheetahmrscheetah
    First Comment
    i would send an invite. we had two on our list who were out of the country: FI's cousin, who's in the peace corps in africa, and whom we sent an invite to even thought we were positive he would not come, and a family friend in singapore, who is actually coming.

    i think it's a nice gesture even if you know they won't come. i don't think it puts pressure on them. i think everyone just likes to feel included.
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    mysticlmysticl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Invite them.  If they know that you are engaged they might already be working out how they can manage to attend. 
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