Gift Question.....

lauraanne9 · July 2012

I also posted this in the registries and gifts area, but thought the ladies in this forum may also have good advice.

First off, I want to make it clear, while this question may come across as "gift grabby" I am being nothing of the sort. I am asking this here as there is NO way to get any information from guests, etc.

Our wedding is in Ohio and we live in California. We have mentioned on our website about our home, and about our travel plans around the wedding, when we will arrive and leave, etc. We have not, obviously, put anything on it about gifts, our preferences, or asked guests to please ship them. Merely out the registry shipping address as our CA home. We have also not put a lot of things on the registry, so the things we receive will be things we actually really want.

My issue, and I am hoping someone here can give me some ideas:

1. How many gifts did you receive at the actual wedding that were wrapped presents and not a card? A percentage would help me.

2. Did most people, who gave a gift, either give cards or have them shipped to the home address on the registry?

3. Has anyone dealt with this and how did you handle it?

I have no idea who will bring a gift. Possibly everyone on the guest list and possibly no one. We are inviting 172 people, which is roughly 80 invitations. I would like to keep any gifts that are given to us, as they will have sentimental value. The solution of "just return them in Ohio and rebuy what you want in CA has been suggested, but I am not all that crazy about the option. However, shipping costs to UPS things could also be an issue.

We will, unfortunately, have limited time after the wedding to make arrangements to get gifts home and I would like to avoid having my SIL (the reception is at her home) have to deal with them because we did not have time after the wedding.

My fiance, and I assure you he was joking, said we could just put "Are you bringing a gift" "yes/no" on the response cards. It was funny as I have been trying to do things as correctly as possible and apparently I made quite a face before I realized he was kidding. LOL

Thanks in advance for any suggestions.

specialk84 · July 2012

My OOT guests shipped their gifts ahead of time. Most of the local guests brought them to the wedding. Many people in my circle do not do gift cards or cash, so we only got a handful of those.

Mrs.B6302007 · July 2012

All of our guests except for 2 (his grandmother and her H) were local. Grandma gave a check. We had probably fewer than 10 boxed gifts at the wedding. We did get a ton of cards. Our guest total was about 85 including our immediate families.

HandBanana · July 2012

I would say to check your registry after your showers. If you have a lot of stuff not bought, you will probably get gifts at your wedding. Also, keep in mind that your guests don't want to lug a large gift to your reception so they will probably ship it anyway.

In our case, our registries were small and really nothing left by our wedding (I have told all my friends to ignore the registry consultants and only register for what you need/want and to not go crazy.) We only received a photo album along with a card at our actual wedding. Everything else was money with one gift that was shipped (slow cooker.)

Sorry I didn't answer in the format you asked. It really didn't apply.

Mrs.B6302007 · July 2012

Oh, and there were no gifts given to us prior to the wedding but that's because the guests were all local so I can't help you there.

lauraanne9 · July 2012

Thanks for the input. And not answering in the format asked is not an issue, I was just trying to be as clear as possible so I didn't confuse those nice enough to read and reply.

Would using "word of mouth" through people like my parents and my FSIL be acceptable? I know it is fine to get registry info out that way, but is it tacky to also have them mention gently that we are from OOT? I think it is. But I also think it is tacky to return and rebuy due to shipping costs, so I am not sure which is worse.

HandBanana · July 2012

In Response to Re:Gift Question.....:[QUOTE]Thanks for the input. nbsp;And not answering in the format asked is not an issue, I was just trying to be as clear as possible so I didn't confuse those nice enough to read and reply.Would using "word of mouth" through people like my parents and my FSIL be acceptable? nbsp;I know it is fine to get registry info out that way, but is it tacky to also have them mention gently that we are from OOT? nbsp;I think it is. nbsp;But I also think it is tacky to return and rebuy due to shipping costs, so I am not sure which is worse. Posted by lauraanne9[/QUOTE]

I don't think so. My cousin is in Colorado but getting married here. Thats how she did it. Also, when you send out thank yous for shipped gifta received before the wedding thank the person for shipping the gift.

RebeccaB88 · July 2012

My wedding hasn't happened yet, but I remember what happened at my sister's wedding. Despite it being most appropriate to send gifts ahead of time (and they had a good shipping address on the registry list), they had a huge amount of gifts brought to the ceremony. I didn't count, but it took 2 SUVs and one sedan to bring them all home. They did get some cash/checks, but most of it was boxed gifts. And people brought some big-ass gifts with them. So, I don't think you can generalize across the board on how it will happen for everyone. It's different in different areas. Around here you always have a designated gift table, because people bring stuff with them. I've heard other brides say they've never heard of that before.

ghowlett · July 2012

I think bringing actual gifts (meaning big, wrapped presents - not cards) is a regional thing. I've never seen a gift at any wedding I've been to. I'd ask your family (or fiance's family, if this is his hometown) what they're used to or maybe try the Ohio board.

Meegles4 · July 2012

I actually agree with ghowlett on the regional thing. For our wedding, we got a decent amount of wrapped gifts, but also mostly got cards. However, my cousin was married a couple years ago in Nebraska and her gift table was OVERFLOWING. It should also be noted many of our boxed gifts were from my family in Nebraska and some of my OOT friends of the family, whereas the cards/cash gifts were from H's family here in Michigan as well as our local friends.

Hopefully, people understand your wedding is a "destination wedding" for you and your FI, and will know to ship things to your home in CA directly. But I'd still be prepared to ship some gifts home after the wedding occurs.

Avion22 · July 2012

We live in the UK and the wedding was in Virgina (we're military). We listed our APO (military post office) address as the shipping address on our registry, and I would say that about 75% of the gifts were shipped to the APO address (costs the same as shipping within the US).

A handfull of people brought gifts to the wedding, or had them shipped to my parents' house (this was the address on the RSVP cards)....most of these gifts were NOT from our registry, but some were (mis-informed store clerks told our guests that the store wouldn't ship to APO, even though it does). The non-registry gifts were crystal bowls and vases that we are just going to store in the US until we move back (we have a storage unit). The rest we removed from packaging, and shipped to our APO address using two Large Flat Rate Priority Mail boxes from the post office (like $15 each).

Domestic shipping is NOT that expensive:-)

lauraanne9 · July 2012

The making a point to that people for shipping those gifts that arrive early is a GREAT idea. Thanks for that one. I love reinforcement that may aid in others helping us out.

As for the shipping, it really just depends what they give us and what it weighs. I am more worried about having to leave stuff at the SIL's house than anything. I am sure she wouldn't mind, it is just such an imposition. And our time line is TIGHT. We are not taking the honeymoon immediatelty, we are coming back to CA...but we are both flying back on the early flight the monday after the wedding. And as it is rural Ohio, I am guessing a lot of the shipping stores, etc will not be open. This really is part of the issue.

Note to self from 3 months ago...book later flight on Monday and solve whole problem.

DramaGeek · July 2012

Almost all of our gifts were boxed gift brought to the wedding (like....85%?) Most of the gifts we received ahead of time were from people who weren't able to make it to the wedding. However, we and most of our guests were local.

My cousin got married in Michigan when they lived in Minnesota. I know word was spread to please ship gifts to their house. At least, I got that message from my mom, and i assume she got it from my uncle, the FOG. Hopefully most of your guests will realize that you will have to travel with the gifts and either ship ahead of time or give cash/gc.

lauraanne9 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-question-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7bc305a5-63b2-41bc-a807-f625712c6551Post:c5ca0013-106f-482f-9a0c-52c3c97200cb">Re: Gift Question.....</a>:
[QUOTE]Almost all of our gifts were boxed gift brought to the wedding (like....85%?) Most of the gifts we received ahead of time were from people who weren't able to make it to the wedding. However, we and most of our guests were local. My cousin got married in Michigan when they lived in Minnesota. I know word was spread to please ship gifts to their house. At least, I got that message from my mom, and i assume she got it from my uncle, the FOG. Hopefully most of your guests will realize that you will have to travel with the gifts and either ship ahead of time or give cash/gc.
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

<div>This is what I am hoping. I have visions of showing up at the airport with 15 checked bags because there were no shipping places open on the Sunday.</div><div>
</div><div>REALLY wish this one had occurred to me before we bought the tickets,</div>

Gift Question.....

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