Letting people know about the engagement?

jazmynalex · May 2011

Would it be wrong to let people know about the engagement about emailing them our wedding website instead of personally calling. We both have a ton of family on both sides (FI has like 10 brothers and sisters alone lol). Also for some reason I have never been a phone person. I hate talking to people over the phone for some reason (plus I don't have unlimited minutes on my phone as well and people tend to talk a lot sometimes).

FI's side of the family pretty much knows already but I think the only person I'll actually call to let know would be my Grandma.

ootmother2 · May 2011

I'd just give Grandma a call before she hears from someone else in the family and gets hurt feelings

peanutty2 · May 2011

Personally, I think what matters more is that you let the "important people" know first from you personally before they just "hear it through the grapevine". We called our parents and siblings (although that's much less for us lol and we're very close to them) and I called my best friend. Then I texted/emailed close family and friends. After that, I let word spread... facebook, next time we talked, through the grapevine, whatever. It worked out. I hate the phone too and I would of felt awkward calling family and friends that I wouldn't of called on the phone anyway. It's up to you! I only gave me wedding website out to people invited to the wedding, you may want to keep that in mind too. I didn't want people seeing the website and being "confused" if that meant they were invited to the wedding.

jazmynalex · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_letting-people-engagement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3cf42bb4-0f28-4fbb-bd4b-cf8954873536Post:bc600d95-84b2-47ad-be98-7adbf644e9d9">Re: Letting people know about the engagement?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Letting people know about the engagement? : I would not e-mail anyone your wedding website unless you are 100% sure they will actually be invited to the wedding. Your guest list will change several times over the course of your planning. You really have a wedding website set up 1.5 years before your wedding? We called our parents, grandparents, siblings and best friends when we got engaged. Everyone else found out through the grapevine or when we changed our relationship status on FB.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

<div>Thank you and yes I do lol. There aren't any set details yet on it though.</div>

ggirl2001 · May 2011

I told my parents, siblings, and best friends. My mom then told the extended family through email and such.

jazmynalex · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_letting-people-engagement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3cf42bb4-0f28-4fbb-bd4b-cf8954873536Post:2f0a8c2c-cd40-4718-95a1-41e09c07d63c">Re: Letting people know about the engagement?</a>:
[QUOTE]Personally, I think what matters more is that you let the "important people" know first from you personally before they just "hear it through the grapevine". We called our parents and siblings (although that's much less for us lol and we're very close to them) and I called my best friend. Then I texted/emailed close family and friends. After that, I let word spread... facebook, next time we talked, through the grapevine, whatever. It worked out. I hate the phone too and I would of felt awkward calling family and friends that I wouldn't of called on the phone anyway. It's up to you! I only gave me wedding website out to people invited to the wedding, you may want to keep that in mind too. I didn't want people seeing the website and being "confused" if that meant they were invited to the wedding.
Posted by peanutty2[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>True, I never thought of it that way!</div><div>The only other people I really need to actually tell personally or over the phone would be my Grandma and my older brother (I also want him to give me away). As for my dad, he hasn't been much of a father these past few years, he acts like me or any of my other siblings don't exist, and he hates my FI, tbh I don't even want him at the wedding but I'm sure my mom is going to make me invite him (especially if she is helping with the expenses).

</div>

ootmother2 · May 2011

My sister found out that her son was engaged because someone saw it on facebook.

Don't let that happen

marinabreeze · May 2011

You may want to let the important people in your like know before posting it on Facebook or anything like that. My FI and I made the mistake of posting our engagement on FB as soon as it happened, and I was just about to call my mom when she called me and said just at the moment I changed my status, my brother saw it on FB. I'm with ootmother, don't let that happen.

Other than that snafu, I called my sister and my best friends. Everyone else either saw it on FB, were told when I saw them, or it reached them through word of mouth.

acwm · May 2011

I second (and third) all the comments about not letting really important people find out through FB. Tell (whether that's through a phone call or text-- depending on your usual method of communication) those closest to you, and the grapevine will work out the rest of it. I know several people who were very hurt they found out about their best friend/granddaughter/niece's engagement through an FB post.

It's OK if you're not a big phone caller-- let people know in the way you usually communicate with them. But let them know before you alert the masses.

dragonwagon · May 2011

We told parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins (close ones obviously) and let it spread from there. We also put an announcement in the local paper. And if we see someone we haven't seen in a while and they ask how we are, we enlighten them on our news. NBD.

thesequel · May 2011

I called my parents, sisters, grandmother and two best friends. We made sure that family (and those who are practically family) knew first. My best friend was really hurt that she found out that her sister was engaged over FB before she got told. I promised myself that I wouldn't do that to someone. The rest found out via FB or the grapevine.

quirky75 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_letting-people-engagement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3cf42bb4-0f28-4fbb-bd4b-cf8954873536Post:a6760992-489d-4eb3-b07d-ba046a286b23">Re: Letting people know about the engagement?</a>:
[QUOTE]My sister found out that her son was engaged because someone saw it on facebook. Don't let that happen
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

My FI forgot to call one of his sisters and she found out when her H saw it on Facebook. Not one of his brightest moments...

I would let all close family and friends know personally through a phone call, email, etc. One of our good friends (in a very close-knit group of friends) decided to let everyone know she was engaged by changing her status on FB first. We were all pretty pissed she didn't even attempt to let us know before posting it to the world.

HockeyFan4 · May 2011

hehe ya we had an oops....we called my parents and his mom...and then we updated FB ...i think we were just so excited.....about 20 minutes later one of my brothers calls me....oops #1.....he saw it on FB....later I found out my other brothers wife saw it on FB, but didn't tell him figuring I would call (i did later that night).

sooooo ya...I only called my parents, aunts, and brothers (and one cousin)....and I told my mom she could let everyone else know....and boy was she happy she got to tell people.

MissKate2011 · May 2011

We first went to visit FMIL, then FBILs and their wives came over and we told them, then we called my parents because they were out of town. The next day I went to visit my sister and told her, then went to visit FFIL to tell him, visited the grandma and a couple of FIs aunts. Went to see my god parents, cousins and all in town family. Called my grandparents who live out of town. Planned a girls lunch and told them all in person and called all friends and important family out of town... after a week we then posted it on facebook!

It was hard but we wanted to make sure we told everyone we could personally so they didn't feel slighted!

LoveMuffins · May 2011

FI had already asked my parents and his parents knew, but none of them knew exactly which day he was going to do it on; so we called them, our grandparents and our closest friends, when we called our parents we asked them to let our aunts/uncles know, and then the next day after calling everyone we put it up on Facebook. A couple of my aunts and uncles found out from their children who are friends with me on facebook, but only because they hadn't seen the email from my mom yet. no one was upset.

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