what does grooms side take care of?

Teababe · April 2012

My soon to be mother in law was wondering what her responsibility were in the wedding.I.didn't really know what to tell her.

Amanda1443994 · April 2012

Traditionally, the groom's side paid for the rehearsal dinner and the honeymoon and the bride's parents paid for everything else. Like PPs said, most people now adays do not follow this tradition. Personally, this tradition still holds true in my circle of friends/family but if she's offering to contribute I would just tell her she really isn't responsible for anything. If she wants to contribute let her choose for what.

rlavach · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_what-does-grooms-side-take-care-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:ca2952ec-ff6e-48ec-b6ad-a42d5ce62f67Post:1c90b37b-55c1-42af-b426-cad675fdb14b">Re: what does grooms side take care of?</a>:
[QUOTE]Im happy I caught this thread. What happend to having your parents pay for everything? God my life would be so easy! Haha. My parents are paying for a small portion. And my Fiance's parents are paying for NOTHING! Not even offering. If they even offered I would be so grateful and decline. Not only do they not offer, they said... "I dont know how you are gonna afford it"... Obviously without your help! -Kaeleigh :D
Posted by kaemiller[/QUOTE]
My FI's parents aren't contributing any money either. We didn't expect them to anyway. NBD.

ShyDreamer00 · April 2012

As PP have said it all depends on your financial situation, your family's traditions, and the groom's family traditions. My parents are paying for our wedding, bridal shower, and my dress. We are responsible for the alcohol and the groom's mother is hosting a rehearsal dinner (backyard BBQ style) at her place a week before the wedding as it is more convenient for her. My parents even offered to foot that bill though if my FMIL couldn't afford to do it....I'm a little nervous about it though, only because they seem to always have money troubles and their place is always a mess.
Here's a different question though..since my parents are footing the bill of everything, should my FMIL have as much say in the guest list? I'm just curious....my parents are fine with the guest list as it is (around 230 people). MY FH is from a Puerto Rican heritage so there can be quite a few family members....we limited everything to aunts, first cousins, immediate family. However, that still leaves us with about 75 family members for him and about the same for me. I was just curious what the etiquette would be? Thanks!

SugarFoote · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_what-does-grooms-side-take-care-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:ca2952ec-ff6e-48ec-b6ad-a42d5ce62f67Post:6a3e6e7f-1211-4041-a5e3-27106c05fc66">Re: what does grooms side take care of?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: what does grooms side take care of? : Regardless of where someone one is from it is wrong for anyone to assume they are entitled to other people's money. I'm not saying the OP feels entitled because she said her FMIL asked about what she could contribute but in general, being from the south is not an excuse for being rude.
Posted by ElleB87[/QUOTE]

I was raised in Georgia and I don't feel like I am rude. My parents are paying for my entire wedding. They paid for my sisters as well. I didn't assume they were going to pay for it either.
It is a completely different way of life down here, and you, who have most likely never experienced that, have missed out completely.

OP, if you FMIL wants to help out with the costs, graciously accept that.

HobokensFury · April 2012

My MIL insisted on following tradition and hosted our RD. She also split the cost of the dj/video/photos with my mother.

kaemiller · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_what-does-grooms-side-take-care-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:ca2952ec-ff6e-48ec-b6ad-a42d5ce62f67Post:734f1428-5d0b-4836-b833-c60a653329e6">Re: what does grooms side take care of?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: what does grooms side take care of? : My FI's parents aren't contributing any money either. We didn't expect them to anyway. NBD.
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

Yes, its not a big deal. As I said, if they offered to help it would mean a lot. The basis of my sarcasm is the fact that they say things like "I dont know how your going to afford this"... I dont expect things to be given to me, but feeling that people are supportive and caring helps with the stresses of planning.

SomethingBeautiful08 · April 2012

I get the vibe that the OP maybe talking more time / care responsiblities rather then financial. I'd probably let your FMIL know that the only thing she is really responsible for is to show up, dressed appropriately and smile for pictures... but if she would like to help with something, that you would love her help with, list out x y & z.. i.e. planning the rehursal dinner, making / finalizing food arragements, etc.. whatever you would genuinely like her input on.

I've got two FMILs and while both are happy for us, one is extensiviely involved (i.e. she has been my dress shopping buddy, we regularly talk wedding plans) and the other I have the sense will just show up. I'm good with both as I'm not going to presure any of the family into being any more involved then they want to be.

Teababe · April 2012

OMGoodness people! First of all, my FI and I werent planning on getting married for a few more years. His parents were the ones who offered to help us out with money if we went ahead and got married. His mother asked me personally how she could help and what traditionally the grooms side pays. My FI is a poor college kid and I work part time. I am the Bride and have already been paying for things. I am not looking for a free ride for my wedding. I am grateful for those of you who paid attention to my actual question and answered it.

what does grooms side take care of?

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