Mother of the Bride Dress Color

KeithColleen17 · July 2010

So we spendt $700 on a dress for my Mother and now she is telling me she hates it and instead she wants to wear this VERY light gold dress...so light gold it almost looks cream! Does anyone else think that she shouldn't be wearing that color. I'm being told by my Father that I'm being stupid. But I just don't think she should be wearing almost the exact same color as me!

waltzingmatilda13 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mother-of-bride-dress-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:b873fd9b-7340-4dae-af1c-ff5beb1008d6Post:d4773d52-913f-4011-ab50-5926da6968fe">Mother of the Bride Dress Color</a>:
[QUOTE]So we spendt $700 on a dress for my Mother and now she is telling me she hates it and instead she wants to wear this VERY light gold dress...so light gold it almost looks cream! Does anyone else think that she shouldn't be wearing that color. I'm being told by my Father that I'm being stupid. But I just don't think she should be wearing almost the exact same color as me!
Posted by KeithColleen17[/QUOTE]

I don't think it's that big of a deal. She's a grown woman so you can't really tell her what to wear and I don't think anyone is going to mistake her for the bride. Just try to relax about it because you don't need to stress yourself over what other people are wearing.

aerinpegadrak · July 2010

Your father is wise.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

Let her wear what she wants and feels comfortable in. That is a hell of a lot of money to spend on a dress for your Mom. I think the gold color one will look just fine. She is not part of the WP, so she doesn't have to match anyone.

trix1223 · July 2010

Listen to your dad. He's right.

Unless your mom is also wearing a veil, carrying a bridal bouquet, and exchanging vows at the ceremony, no one is going to mistake her for the bride.

You're seriously over-reacting. Let's also put this into perspective. You chose the dress you did because you feel beautiful in it and love it right? Shouldn't the MOB get to wear a dress that she feels beautiful in and loves?

I'm also curious: who exactly picked out the first MOB dress? Because it almost sounds like it wasn't your mom's decision: WE spent $700 on a dress for my Mother and now she is telling me she hates it.

aerinpegadrak · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mother-of-bride-dress-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:b873fd9b-7340-4dae-af1c-ff5beb1008d6Post:33ef0b77-e8d3-437c-9671-088022def517">Re: Mother of the Bride Dress Color</a>:
[QUOTE]Let her wear what she wants and feels comfortable in. That is a hell of a lot of money to spend on a dress for your Mom. I think the gold color one will look just fine. She is not part of the WP, so she doesn't have to match anyone.
Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]
Wow, I didn't even see that part. Yeah, your MOB dress is about $200 more than my wedding gown.

MairePoppy · July 2010

I'm curious, too. Who picked out and payed for your Mom's dress?

Bottom line: The moms get to pick out their own dresses for the wedding. They should choose something that fits with the formality of the occasion and suits their own style. Gold, silver and champagne are neutral colors that are popular for the moms. Don't make a big deal out of it.

TheCranberry · July 2010

You know your mom. Would she understand if you told her you'd rather she wear a different color? If it's not a big deal to her, just ask. She may fall in love with another color dress.

Maybe she feels like this other dress was forced upon her and wants to pick out her own thing.

blpeters · July 2010

Yea, I think you are totally justified...light gold is almost ivory!!! What are the other colors of your wedding? Can she wear a highlight color or even a classy black dress?

tldh · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mother-of-bride-dress-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:b873fd9b-7340-4dae-af1c-ff5beb1008d6Post:2892ffa3-bf55-4476-be55-7ab66672d90a">Re: Mother of the Bride Dress Color</a>:
[QUOTE]Yea, I think you are totally justified...light gold is almost ivory!!! What are the other colors of your wedding? Can she wear a highlight color or even a classy black dress?
Posted by blpeters[/QUOTE]

It's a color that is appropriate for a MOB dress. My SIL's mom wore an ivory dress and she didn't look out of place or inappropriate at all.

erb_20 · July 2010

About to go threw a similar thing so I understand what your getting at! I just found out tonight that even after I told both my own mother AND my FMIL NO WHITE WHAT SO EVER (i.e. white/cream/ivory/light tan etc.), my FMIL is wearing navy blue and WHITE! I told my FH he needs to tell her himself since she obviously isn't listening to me that he has to tell her she needs a new dress! Explain to your mom you don't want her wearing anything even remotely close the color of your dress. Apposed to what everyone else has said so far (xcept blpeters ) you as the bride have 100% every right to feel that way and express your feelings! I refused to let my mother pick out anything with white in it at all. If I lived closer to my FMIL I would have done the same with her too. PPL may think your bing picky and get mad but its YOUR wedding! treat it that way. Every one should know its not properly to wear white (among the other colors listed) to a wedding DUH!

tldh · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mother-of-bride-dress-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:b873fd9b-7340-4dae-af1c-ff5beb1008d6Post:f2af3435-eee8-4658-a824-4d174ecfe7f9">Re: Mother of the Bride Dress Color</a>:
[QUOTE]About to go threw a similar thing so I understand what your getting at! I just found out tonight that even after I told both my own mother AND my FMIL NO WHITE WHAT SO EVER (i.e. white/cream/ivory/light tan etc.), my FMIL is wearing navy blue and WHITE! I told my FH he needs to tell her himself since she obviously isn't listening to me that he has to tell her she needs a new dress! Explain to your mom you don't want her wearing anything even remotely close the color of your dress. Apposed to what everyone else has said so far (xcept blpeters ) you as the bride have 100% every right to feel that way and express your feelings! I refused to let my mother pick out anything with white in it at all. If I lived closer to my FMIL I would have done the same with her too. PPL may think your bing picky and get mad but its YOUR wedding! treat it that way. Every one should know its not properly to wear white (among the other colors listed) to a wedding DUH!
Posted by erb_20[/QUOTE]

1. Nobody told her she can't express her feelings. She's being told to be careful about how she's handling it and that some of us agree 100% with her father
2. it's not YOUR wedding day. It's not even your and your FI's wedding day unless you elope. It is a day where you are the stars but the feelings of your supporting cast (family and guests) have to be taken into consideration
3. You seriously threw a hissy fit over FMIL's navy and white dress???

Krempn14 · July 2010

I would only be upset with the formality of it, not the color unless its a pale ivory or stark white. I do think $700 is too much for the mother of the bride. My FMIL spent $780- my dress and veil were only $850... her's is a ballgown and mine is very informal... I'm very stressed about it, though everyone on here is saying I shouldn't be. Not everyone should cater to every whim of the bride, but it is your day, and if you feel slighted by the dress, or like she is going to be too closely matching you, maybe you should say something in a really polite, respectful way- explaining how her actions are making you feel.. It's your mom so I think her top priority is you being happy... and I'm sorry- but dad's should butt out of dress issues! They don't know what they're talking about (my father included)!!

trix1223 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mother-of-bride-dress-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:b873fd9b-7340-4dae-af1c-ff5beb1008d6Post:f2af3435-eee8-4658-a824-4d174ecfe7f9">Re: Mother of the Bride Dress Color</a>:
[QUOTE]About to go threw a similar thing so I understand what your getting at! I just found out tonight that even after I told both my own mother AND my FMIL NO WHITE WHAT SO EVER (i.e. white/cream/ivory/light tan etc.), my FMIL is wearing navy blue and WHITE! I told my FH he needs to tell her himself since she obviously isn't listening to me that he has to tell her she needs a new dress! Explain to your mom you don't want her wearing anything even remotely close the color of your dress. Apposed to what everyone else has said so far (xcept blpeters ) you as the bride have 100% every right to feel that way and express your feelings! I refused to let my mother pick out anything with white in it at all. If I lived closer to my FMIL I would have done the same with her too. PPL may think your bing picky and get mad but its YOUR wedding! treat it that way. Every one should know its not properly to wear white (among the other colors listed) to a wedding DUH!
Posted by erb_20[/QUOTE]

Wow. No white in it AT ALL? That is so far into 'zilla territory. Do you think they'll confuse the girl in the dress, with the veil, carrying the bouquet and exchanging vows at the altar with the middle aged woman in a navy and white dress?

You'll be the center of attention regardless. But you'll also be the center of attention if you throw a hissy about a dress that has **some** white in it. And it won't be positive attention.

My dopey SIL wore an all white, yes, solid white, dress to my son and DIL's wedding. My DIL didn't even notice until she got her pictures back. And then she laughed about it.

Oh the horror! I wore my white pearls to my son and DIL's wedding. Fortunately, she's a reasonable woman who understood what her wedding was really about.

tldh · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mother-of-bride-dress-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:b873fd9b-7340-4dae-af1c-ff5beb1008d6Post:d84af069-e6bb-4347-bca1-2d1de7d96e3b">Re: Mother of the Bride Dress Color</a>:
[QUOTE]I would only be upset with the formality of it, not the color unless its a pale ivory or stark white. I do think $700 is too much for the mother of the bride. My FMIL spent $780- my dress and veil were only $850... her's is a ballgown and mine is very informal... I'm very stressed about it, though everyone on here is saying I shouldn't be. Not everyone should cater to every whim of the bride, but it is your day, and if you feel slighted by the dress, or like she is going to be too closely matching you, maybe you should say something in a really polite, respectful way- explaining how her actions are making you feel.. It's your mom so I think her top priority is you being happy... and I'm sorry- but dad's should butt out of dress issues! They don't know what they're talking about (my father included)!!
Posted by Krempn14[/QUOTE]

But they do tend to know when daughters are upsetting their wives. I think that's why dad got involved here, not because of the dress.

Krempn14 · July 2010

Well if your dad came into it because your mom was upset-- that's something else entirely. I thought he was giving fashion judgement. Anyway, I still maintain you're right to be upset, depending on the shade of gold. And you're upset also. Why doesn't that count? I know many brides tend be like something out of The Exorcist, but if it was all discussed maturely, and you expressed you're not comfortable with it, I don't see why a compromise of sorts can't be reached. Besides, I don't know what your wedding budget is, but I still think $700 is too much for a mother to spend.

lharri12 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mother-of-bride-dress-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:b873fd9b-7340-4dae-af1c-ff5beb1008d6Post:f2af3435-eee8-4658-a824-4d174ecfe7f9">Re: Mother of the Bride Dress Color</a>:
[QUOTE]About to go threw a similar thing so I understand what your getting at! I just found out tonight that even after I told both my own mother AND my FMIL NO WHITE WHAT SO EVER (i.e. white/cream/ivory/light tan etc.), my FMIL is wearing navy blue and WHITE! I told my FH he needs to tell her himself since she obviously isn't listening to me that he has to tell her she needs a new dress! Explain to your mom you don't want her wearing anything even remotely close the color of your dress. Apposed to what everyone else has said so far (xcept blpeters ) you as the bride have 100% every right to feel that way and express your feelings! I refused to let my mother pick out anything with white in it at all. If I lived closer to my FMIL I would have done the same with her too. PPL may think your bing picky and get mad but its YOUR wedding! treat it that way. Every one should know its not properly to wear white (among the other colors listed) to a wedding DUH!
Posted by erb_20[/QUOTE]

Wow. Just wow. Have the paramedics on standby at your wedding because you're going to have a stroke when you see several people with white and black or white and green or white and yellow dresses.

skippylouwho · July 2010

This is not the dress I'm wearing to DD's wedding but it is almost identical. There is more gold to it than shows in the picture but it is a very light gold, I'd call it a white gold. DD saw it and suggested I wear it.

They describe it as champagne colored but it is really a light gold.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3097748/0~2376776~2374327~2374331~6014214?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6014214&P=8

I am both a MOG and a MOB. I happen to run in FDIL (let's call her Mary) and her mom while they were shopping for her dress for DS wedding. I showed them the dress above and mentined it is almost identical to the dress I'm wearing for DDs wedding. FDIL's mom said "ohhh... I was considering that for Mary's wedding".

Even though DD suggested this dress, I did ask her if she thought it was too light and she thinks there is plenty of gold in it.

deepcovejackie · July 2010

erb_20---O.M.G. I would never, ever, even think of doing that to my FMIL! Your poor fiance is about to be put in the middle of it. Re-think the plan of confronting her and demanding a change in dresses. Seriously. You too, OP. You're both going to come off really controlling and silly.

My Mom and my FMIL are wearing what they like and what they feel looks appropiate for the day.

tldh · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mother-of-bride-dress-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:b873fd9b-7340-4dae-af1c-ff5beb1008d6Post:215ca417-70da-4ac9-9c3d-c99f92e5c447">Re: Mother of the Bride Dress Color</a>:
[QUOTE]This is not the dress I'm wearing to DD's wedding but it is almost identical. There is more gold to it than shows in the picture but it is a very light gold, I'd call it a white gold. DD saw it and suggested I wear it. They describe it as champagne colored but it is really a light gold. <a href="http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3097748/0~2376776~2374327~2374331~6014214?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6014214&P=8" rel="nofollow">http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3097748/0~2376776~2374327~2374331~6014214?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6014214&P=8</a> I am both a MOG and a MOB. I happen to run in FDIL (let's call her Mary) and her mom while they were shopping for her dress for DS wedding. I showed them the dress above and mentined it is almost identical to the dress I'm wearing for DDs wedding. FDIL's mom said "ohhh... I was considering that for Mary's wedding". Even though DD suggested this dress, I did ask her if she thought it was too light and she thinks there is plenty of gold in it.
Posted by skippylouwho[/QUOTE]

beautiful dress!!

Lisa8888 · July 2010

skippylouwho...that dress looks white with gold trim in the photo.

erb_20...you can't outlaw any trace of white. What about all the guys showing up with white shirts?

Without seeing the dress the OP is talking about I can't say if it looks white. How does gold look white? Did the mother pick out this $700 dress? Did she have any say in it?

I don't think a mother should be wearing white however it doesn't sound like this was handled right from the beginning.

trix1223 · July 2010

skippy: that dress is beautiful. You'll look smashing!

Muffin'sMom · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mother-of-bride-dress-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:b873fd9b-7340-4dae-af1c-ff5beb1008d6Post:f2af3435-eee8-4658-a824-4d174ecfe7f9">Re: Mother of the Bride Dress Color</a>:
[QUOTE]About to go threw a similar thing so I understand what your getting at! I just found out tonight that even after I told both my own mother AND my FMIL NO WHITE WHAT SO EVER (i.e. white/cream/ivory/light tan etc.), my FMIL is wearing navy blue and WHITE! I told my FH he needs to tell her himself since she obviously isn't listening to me that he has to tell her she needs a new dress! Explain to your mom you don't want her wearing anything even remotely close the color of your dress. Apposed to what everyone else has said so far (xcept blpeters ) you as the bride have 100% every right to feel that way and express your feelings! I refused to let my mother pick out anything with white in it at all. If I lived closer to my FMIL I would have done the same with her too. PPL may think your bing picky and get mad but its YOUR wedding! treat it that way. Every one should know its not properly to wear white (among the other colors listed) to a wedding DUH!
Posted by erb_20[/QUOTE]

Wow...just wow. You are going to one unhappy girl on your wedding date. You are seriously delusional if you think there will not be people at your wedding with some kind of white on. What color shirts are the guys wearing...just curious.
<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-surprised.gif" border="0" alt="Surprised" title="Surprised" />

ERIKAEV · July 2010

My FMIL & FSIL personally informed me that she thought it was appalling that ANY family would even think about wearing anything with a whitish tone. Both my mom and step mom picked out these tones and the future in laws were shocked!

Bottom line is, everyone's different, every family is different as well as everyone's expectations. I would only hope that family can put their differences aside for your day and choose a dress that will make you happy. Very simple. It's amazing to me that women in their 20's and 30's no full well not to upstage the bride and not to wear a white dress to someone elses wedding. Where as a lot of the mothers here seem to be very defensive and immature with their responses.

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