I didn't want a shower and always said so from the get-go. My MOH and two sisters are all out of town so I would have spent the whole time wishing they could have been there. I warned fiance not to aid and abet anyone who tried to arrange anything, and although my one BM who likes to plan parties tried to insist that I "need" a shower, I advised her otherwise. It's not that I don't appreciate that people want to think of me, but I'm not comfortable at social gatherings and also been established in our home for a while and don't want people to feel like they have to get me a whole lot of stuff I don't really need. I looked at a shower as something that would be fun for the person throwing the party, but not for me.
Well I get home from work today and I see an envelope addressed to me and fiance from the BM I mentioned. I pretty much knew what it was. But I open it and see it's an invitation to a couple's shower for fiance and me. I pretty much cursed and tossed the thing down on the table and still haven't calmed down where I could get anything done.
I do appreciate that they didn't try to surprise me and that it's a couple's shower which I'm more comfortable with. My mother and sisters already warned the BM not to surprise me and my mother said she would have told me even to spoil someone else's surprise. I would have been even more uncomfortable if I had been expecting to just go out to dinner with our friends and saw a whole lot of people there, or if I had showed up in sweat clothes thinking we were just stopping by to pick up Girl Scout cookies or something. And fiance knew I liked the idea of a couple's shower better than something where all the spotlight was going to be on me.
Fiance fessed up that he helped the BM with the guest list. I'm not really upset with him but I do wish he would have clued me in earlier, rather than waiting until it was too late for me to do anything about it, so I could have compromised with him if it was something he wanted and I could have given my input and made sure the guest list was really small (I'm guessing the shower will have at least 40 people, yikes!) and make it where it wasn't a gift-giving event. Although I suppose with it being a couple's shower he will get some gift cards to home improvement stores and those won't go to waste.
Anyway I guess the silver linings are that my mother is coming in and we'll do some fun things outside of the shower and I needed her to help check the fit of my dress. And I can start stalking my registry...which doesn't even contain a lot of small shower-type items! And I know my MOH and sisters wish they could be there and do more. I just hope I ordered enough darn thank you notes. And it's really intimidating and uncomfortable for me trying to think of dealing with ANOTHER party on top of the rehearsal dinner and wedding!
Vent over.
Whoever said it was supposed to be happily ever after is a big fat liar.