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kellyt89
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Depression...Advice Please?
Okay so I wrote this big long thing and as I tried to post it my internet failed and I lost the whole thing. Bleh.
Cliff's notes: I've been struggling with depression for the past 10 years now, maybe longer. I've been in counseling and on medication for almost 2 years. However, I feel like I'm being sucked back in lately. In Prozac Nation, the author calls depression "the black wave" and that's what it feels like lately. Constantly feeling like I'm a complete failure, lethargic, I fail/mess everything up etc.
Logically, none of this is true - I have nothing concrete in my life going wrong. I have good friends, a wonderful BF, good relationship with my parents, I just graduated college and will be moving soon. What gives?
I guess I'm just looking for some support. If any of you struggle with depression or have in the past and are willing to share I would really appreciate it. I really like all of you girls, appreciate getting to know you and hope that we can become better friends. Even an LOLcat would be cool. I'm just having a really rough day.
Cliff's notes: I've been struggling with depression for the past 10 years now, maybe longer. I've been in counseling and on medication for almost 2 years. However, I feel like I'm being sucked back in lately. In Prozac Nation, the author calls depression "the black wave" and that's what it feels like lately. Constantly feeling like I'm a complete failure, lethargic, I fail/mess everything up etc.
Logically, none of this is true - I have nothing concrete in my life going wrong. I have good friends, a wonderful BF, good relationship with my parents, I just graduated college and will be moving soon. What gives?
I guess I'm just looking for some support. If any of you struggle with depression or have in the past and are willing to share I would really appreciate it. I really like all of you girls, appreciate getting to know you and hope that we can become better friends. Even an LOLcat would be cool. I'm just having a really rough day.
And if the stormy weather came...I'd just kiss you in the rain...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Depression...Advice Please?
I went in and talked to my Dr. and they ended up switching my medication and it has already made a world of difference. I'm not saying that your medication isn't right for you, but maybe it's worth a quick call. I know how bad this sucks and I'm sorry you have to deal with it. And I know how crappy it makes you feel when you're feeling guilty about being so sad. It just sucks.
[QUOTE] Constantly feeling like I'm a complete failure, lethargic, I fail/mess everything up etc. Logically, none of this is true - I have nothing concrete in my life going wrong. Posted by kellyt89[/QUOTE]
I have completely felt this before. I once made a picture collage for my doctor- I'm not at home- otherwise I would show it to you. One of the images on the collage was a grade...D. I felt like I was barely succeeding at life.
For me- it doesn't feel like a wave- it feels like I'm slipping down the side of a mountain- and I'm desperate to hold on to the top. I don't know what caused my depression- but...not many people do. It could be hormones, it could be imabalances...I'll probably never know.
I tried various anti-depressants that didn't work for me. I tried lots of alternative healing methods...acupuncture, breathwork, bodywork....which ultimately led me to this book:
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Mood-Cure-Rebalance-Rediscover-Well-Being/dp/0670030694" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/Mood-Cure-Rebalance-Rediscover-Well-Being/dp/0670030694</a>
<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/15/13/dfee32f8-cf36-4055-bd13-851fe86c07c3.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/15/13/dfee32f8-cf36-4055-bd13-851fe86c07c3.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
It was literally life changing for me.
This quiz was really eye-opening:
<a href="http://www.moodcure.com/Questionnaire.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.moodcure.com/Questionnaire.html</a>
And I now use 5HTP and Dopa-Muca everyday with no side effects. I also take pharma GABA when a day is particularly rough.
It's ever so slightly comforting to know when I'm super cranky or super sad- that I can say to myself, "it's just chemical..."
And I have no hesitations or guilt about taking supplements. For me- it's just like my supplements are like vitamins- something proactive that supports my wellness.
[QUOTE]Okay so I wrote this big long thing and as I tried to post it my internet failed and I lost the whole thing. Bleh. Cliff's notes: I've been struggling with depression for the past 10 years now, maybe longer. I've been in counseling and on medication for almost 2 years. However, I feel like I'm being sucked back in lately. In Prozac Nation, the author calls depression <strong>"the black wave</strong>" and that's what it feels like lately. Constantly feeling like I'm a complete failure, lethargic, I fail/mess everything up etc. <strong>Logically, none of this is true - I have nothing concrete in my life going wrong. I have good friends, a wonderful BF, good relationship with my parents, I just graduated college and will be moving soon. What gives?</strong> I guess I'm just looking for some support. If any of you struggle with depression or have in the past and are willing to share I would really appreciate it. I really like all of you girls, appreciate getting to know you and hope that we can become better friends. Even an LOLcat would be cool. I'm just having a really rough day.
Posted by kellyt89[/QUOTE]
I have definitely found that this is true for me. I go through "waves" of being okay to not being able to function. I definitely agree that you should consider talking to your doctor about what is going on. You may need a dose change or a new medication altogether. The best thing for me is to keep busy. It's probably not the best coping mechanism, but it's really all that works for me. My anxiety gets really high when I'm feeling down so my mind can't concentrate on anything---I just try to keep busying so that I don't really need to focus on anything.
As for the "logical" reason you are feeling this way, there really is one---DEPRESSION. You don't have to have a reason, everything in your life can be "perfect" but you can still feel like your world is crashing down.
ETA: Don't stop your meds or take anything in addition to them without talking to your doctor, either! I <strong>definitely </strong>think you need to set up an appointment regardless!
Ive been feeling like this a lot lately too. No one around me knows it. But I have had some signifcant things happen within the last month esp with my father writing me a four page letter disowning me and its been hard finding people to talk to it about. Another is the weather for me. I hate it, I love snow, boarding, and other things involved with winter, but I hate the cold, gloomy days.
I find that exercise has helped with my moods lately, in the summer its golf since I can hit the ball as hard as I want to relieve some frustration.
[QUOTE]ETA: Don't stop your meds or take anything in addition to them without talking to your doctor, either! I definitely think you need to set up an appointment regardless!
Posted by jaycee7389[/QUOTE]
I ditto this!
[QUOTE]lunar, thank you so much for the Mood Cure information. I took the quiz and was especially high on the questions on low seritonin (big surprise there) but also a few others. Are the supplements expensive? I really should be on a multivitamin too...
Posted by kellyt89[/QUOTE]
As jaycee mentioned- I would definitely talk to your doctor about the supplements before starting them. Your anti-depressant may already be treating your low serotonin- there have been studies that 5-HTP helps even more when taken with an anti-depressant, but you need to talk to your doctor about this.
And nope- supplements aren't too expensive...12-20ish for a couple months worth, usually.
And multi-vitamins are awesome- I can only manage to get myself to take the gummy ones. LOL
I know you will find a solution. I'm going to suggest involving your loved ones in the future and being accepting when they say something. The "wave" you talk about is gradual, your loved ones might notice the very begining of it and help you address stuff before you feel as overwhelmed.
My Bio - updated 26/3/2011
Once I get a doctor I will definitely talk to them about supplements, I think that would be a helpful addition I would feel more comfortable with. I also NEED to start exercising because I know it will help my mood but it's sort of a vicious cycle at this point where I feel to crummy to exercise. And I need to get my multivitamin out and start taking again.
BF knows best of all what's going on, so does my BFF. She's been struggling with depression too and I talk to her about it pretty often, especially since she was my roommate so she would see me at the worst sometimes. I feel uncomfortable talking to my parents about it because my dad things depression is "BS" and my mom gets all worried and freaked out and just makes me feel worse.
Also, Stina, Ollie and the others who are dealing with depression I'm so sorry and I'm so appreciative of your help and advice. Sometimes just knowing someone else is going through the same stuff makes me feel less alone.
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I spent some time talking things over with my mom and it made me feel a little better even though I didn't really do anything. I'll be looking more into pyschiatrists tomorrow.
I also would recommend that you see not just a psychiatrist but also a psychologist or counselor. Most psychiatrists are similar to doctors where they do not have much time to talk things out with you if you are having problems and really only have about 15 minutes per patient, so if you have a psychologist or therapist that you go to also then they can assist you with coping strategies, etc and the psychiatrist can properly maintain your dosage. I know for me my anti-depressants helped make me feel better but I would likely have to take those for the rest of my life if I hadnt developed coping strategies to deal with my problems that worsened by depression. Also according to my neuropsych professor, most anti-depressants are about 80% placebo and the little bit that actually fixes the brain chemistry is only minimal.
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There's no way I would be able to talk to a counselor-type person and get a prescription from them? Maybe I can get a referral from a psychiatrist for a psychologist or counselor...
I'd recommend getting both a psychiatrist and a therapist. My psychiatrist actually required six months of therapy when she started me on my Lamictal. I've been on it for almost five years (at various doses) and it works pretty well for me. I stopped going to a therapist for a few years, but with work and social stress increasing recently, I've begun going to a talk therapist again. You really, really need to have both.
I hope you get to feeling better. I'm in a funk too right now -- it's probably the season and holiday stress -- so I feel for you, man.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/
Also I would recommend trying to get a refill asap because I was stupid and went cold turkey off of mine and ended up having major migrained for about 3 weeks after.
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