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Help with Honeymoon Intrusion!

Booms36Booms36
First Comment
in Honeymoon Discussions
My FMIL is adamant about me and my fiance` going to a certain spot for our honeymoon.  She says she cannot afford to help with the wedding at all, yet she wants to go on our honeymoon with us!  Yikes!  Therefore, the only thing she is willing to give us is use of her timeshare (i.e. we still have to pay for airfare and all-inclusive part).  This is not what we had imagined at all as our honeymoon.  How do I let her down nicely that we simply do not want to accept this "gift"?  I love her, but this is getting a tad out of hand.
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Re: Help with Honeymoon Intrusion!

  • Booms36Booms36
    First Comment
    edited April 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_help-with-honeymoon-intrusion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:d6b0fb3a-a65b-4f04-915f-fa197c9f4666Post:f7f8629a-d179-4dca-9684-f157d78e3330">Re: Help with Honeymoon Intrusion!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Have your FI speak to her.  "Mom, we appreciate the offer, but we've got the HM covered, thanks."  If you guys can't afford a HM right away, spend the wedding night somewhere nice and then save up and take one later.  There's no rule that says you have to take your HM immediately after the wedding.
    Posted by stephiehall[/QUOTE]


    It's not that we can't afford it, it's that this is the only thing she is willing to contribute.  I feel bad turning it down, but I also thinks it's weird that she wants to go with us.  Is that wrong?
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  • fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Just because she is offering it doesn't mean you have to take it.  If you can afford it, go wherever you want on your HM and go ALONE.
    Planning the Meal
    With All the Trimmings
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  • GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_help-with-honeymoon-intrusion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:d6b0fb3a-a65b-4f04-915f-fa197c9f4666Post:1cc950fd-843e-49fa-96af-3c7541046589">Re: Help with Honeymoon Intrusion!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Help with Honeymoon Intrusion! : It's not that we can't afford it, it's that this is the only thing she is willing to contribute.  I feel bad turning it down, but I also thinks it's weird that she wants to go with us.  Is that wrong?
    Posted by Booms36[/QUOTE]

    Decline it anyway.  This is a little power struggle that she is pulling and you cannot be on the losing end of it.  She doesn't have to contribute anything at all but that she has these kinds of strings attached to something she is willing to give should have red flags waving at you.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    If financially, it really is the only thing she can offer as a gift, you are kind to acknowledge that and be considerate of her feelings.  Is there a specific reason as to why she MUST travel with you?  This piece of the puzzle is truly bizarre.

    Is this scenario a possibility at all?.............."Thanks so much, MIL.  It's a thoughtful gift but we have already made honeymoon plans.  But this will be an awesome way for us to enjoy a winter getaway/spring break/fall vacation if that timing works with the timeshare".

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  • yellowrose314yellowrose314 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Wow that is borderline inappropriate... As PP's have said, politely decline and tell her you've got it handled.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • meganb1977meganb1977 member
    1000 Comments
    Whatever you decide, you should present a united front and your fiance should take the lead.  Perhaps this is the only thing she CAN contribute since she already bought into it, although it definitely would have been better of her to forego her week when she offered it to you, instead of tagging along!
    Whoever said it was supposed to be happily ever after is a big fat liar.
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  • aragx6aragx6 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_help-with-honeymoon-intrusion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:d6b0fb3a-a65b-4f04-915f-fa197c9f4666Post:4cfc0c58-dbd4-40ea-8beb-571a7b4ef5fd">Re: Help with Honeymoon Intrusion!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Whatever you decide, you should present a united front and your fiance should take the lead.  Perhaps this is the only thing she CAN contribute since she already bought into it, although it definitely would have been better of her to forego her week when she offered it to you, instead of tagging along!
    Posted by meganb1977[/QUOTE]

    Agree with this. If she wanted to be nice she would have given you her timeshare. Offering it up but stipulating that she come too is a power play and your FI needs to politely tell her no.
    Lizzie
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