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Help... Inviting coworkers

Ok ladies, I apologize in advance this will be a bit lengthy... I need some direction. I am getting married in April and just starteda new job December first. I am at a small office, about 11 people. I haven't even thought about inviting them, until I was talking to a coworker today. Let me start off by saying, I am already over budget, assuming as many people show up as I think. I am inviting 230, and I expect 180... Still over budget. I was talking to a coworker today and he said to me "you are kind of in the same position as I am... I started about the same time before my wedding as you are", then he got on the topic of how he invited everyone to the wedding. It was kind of awkward to me, because I have only worked here a month or so... But by the time of my wedding will be 5 months. Since I am already over budget, and just started working, I do not know if i should invite my coworkers. If they all bring plus 1, we are talking about 25 more people.. That's another $1000 . Yikes. So, what would you do in this situation?
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Re: Help... Inviting coworkers

  • edited January 2012
    Let me also add that it's really not right inviting one person and not another, especially since my office is so small. And also he brought up the convoy of inviting coworkers, not me.
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  • Don't invite any of them.

    I work with a pretty small tight-knit group of people and I've been in my job for just over a year. I'm just now deciding that I want to invite the two girls I talk with on a daily basis, but I'm still not inviting everyone else!

    Just don't talk about the wedding and change the subject if people bring it up. You are NOT obligated to invite anyone and knowing these people for 5 months by the time your wedding comes around doesn't change that.
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  • I started my new job 3 months before the wedding. I invited everyone. I felt I had to. Being it was such a small place..You share almost every aspect of wedding planning with your co-workers. I'd just bite the bullet and invite them.

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  • I wouldn't send them invitations. You are already anticipating too many people for your budget.

    If the topic should come up, just state that your venue has a max capacity, and sadly, as much as you'd like to invite them all, you are already close to the max.
    Everyone understands the cost of weddings, as well as etiquette. An invitation  says "you are one of a very few chosen amongst all the people I have known in my entire life". Coworkers for a brief time would totally understand.
  • I would not invite them especially because you are over budget.

    DH proposed in December, I started a new job March 1st and we were married in October, not a single coworker was invited to our wedding.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_inviting-coworkers-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:e96f2e45-c39d-41c2-89de-bf7db339f958Post:e55a93a4-5204-41e1-9a01-028d38f59879">Re: Help... Inviting coworkers</a>:
    [QUOTE]I wouldn't send them invitations. You are already anticipating too many people for your budget. If the topic should come up, just state that your venue has a max capacity, and sadly, as much as you'd like to invite them all, you are already close to the max. Everyone understands the cost of weddings, as well as etiquette. An invitation  says "you are one of a very few chosen amongst all the people I have known in my entire life". Coworkers for a brief time would totally understand.
    Posted by Sue-n-Kevin[/QUOTE]

    This.  Very well said Sue.
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  • You don't have to invite them.  But don't talk wedding, AT ALL, at the office so people don't get the wrong idea.  If people ask how it's giong, just say "Fine, can you help me with this report?" (aka change the subject).

    I definitely think new coworkers would understand why they weren't invited.  And if they say anything just say "due to budgetary and space limitations, we couldn't invite everyone we wanted to."
  • I agree, don't invite them but also don't talk wedding in the office or they might expect an invite.  I'm sure they will understand, especially since you started working there after you were already planning your wedding. 
  • I also wouldnt invite them. I have been at my job for almost 4 years and am not inviting anyone from work, most of my work relationships are straight business anyways. When I was creating my guest list I just kept in mind not to add people that I cant imagine not being there.  FI is inviting quite a few coworkers, but I am happy to invite more of my friends.
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  • Thanks ladies. This really helps. I wasnt going to invite them... but was made to feel like I kind of needed to. Telling them capacity is at its max is a good idea, if it gets brought up. But nothing needs to be said if it doesnt.
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  • Don't invite them. I started my job last Feb. and am getting married this April. Initially I was going to invite my boss, but now I'm not even inviting her because she won't know anyone. I'm in a similar situation that I feel like I'd have to invite several people and it would explode the guest list.

    PPs are right -- don't talk wedding. I find myself talking more and more about it, so I know it's really hard. But, I also think your co-workers will understand and if they don't, well, too bad :-)

    I use the cut-off as whether or not I hang out/keep in touch with them outside of work. I don't hang out with any of my new co-workers yet, so I don't feel so bad not inviting them.
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  • Weighing in a bit late, but here's my 2 cents:

    I invited a small group of co-workers from my very large office to the wedding.  They came, they ate dinner, and they left.  The didn't dance.  I don't know if they really had a fun time or not.  I don't think they really cared that they were there. 

    So here's the thing: don't feel guilty. They don't know you, you don't know them, and if anything, inviting all of them will just make for an obligatory work event. Seems to me that you are off the hook :)  Enjoy your wedding with all of the friends and family you have known a long time. 
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