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Moms and Maids

Destination Wedding Bridesmaid Expectations?

So one of my best friends recently got engaged and wants to go on a destination cruise wedding.  She is planning on a 7 day, 6 night cruise to the Bahamas at the beginning of December and wants me to come and be in the wedding.   But she expects me to pay the $500+ for the cruise cost, pay for my dress and other travel expenses and take the five to six days off of work.  I do not have this kind of money to spend, with moving in to a new place with my boyfriend and other things.  Also, I like to save my time off for my own vacations.  The other thing is she said I cannot bring a guest, so I'm expected to leave my serious boyfriend at home?  I told her that realistically, I won't be able to make it happen.  She went on some huge rant about how I should be there for her and I have enough time to save up the money and also she would be willing to spend a "$1,000" to be there for me on my special day.  Am I being rational with saying that I won't be able to go? 

Re: Destination Wedding Bridesmaid Expectations?

  • Sigh.  BSC seems to be in full swing.  Check the post below this one because your bride is not the only one who has lost her damn mind.  I really don't feel like retyping my answer because it's essentially the same.  Here is the link:

    http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_fl-wedding-expensive-bm
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    AKA GoodLuckBear14
  • Why does she care if your boyfriend is there since you're the one paying? Hun, she sounds BSC. Run away. Run away now before you agree to this shipwreck and throw yourself overboard because the sharks look like more fun than your Bridezilla friend.
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  • Thank you for your responses!  She seems to think I am made of money and I'm glad I'm not the only one who realizes how crazy she is acting! 
  • She's being unreasonable. I don't see why she should even care if you bring your boyfriend or not. It's not like she is paying for him. Frankly, if you even still want to be in her wedding, I'd bring my boyfriend and she can just deal with it. But if she's acting that way, I wouldn't want to be in her wedding in the first place!
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  • You're being completely rational. I'm sorry you're being put in that position :( And I completely agree with a PP...why would she care if you have a "guest" when she wouldn't be paying for him anyway? I don't know if they charge her by guest for the wedding/reception, probably, but the least she can do is buy him a plate of food and a piece of cake for the reception (or whatever it is she has to pay for) when you guys are paying for everything else! I don't know your boyfriend's relationship with her, but if I were him, I'd probably rather go lay by the pool anyway!
    image Anniversary
  • Well now apparently because I won't live up to her unrealistic expectations, I'm "dead to her".  Glad her true colors came to light.
  • In Response to Re: Destination Wedding Bridesmaid Expectations?:
    [QUOTE]Well now apparently because I won't live up to her unrealistic expectations, I'm "dead to her".  Glad her true colors came to light.
    Posted by jahoover321[/QUOTE]

    Did she say that to you?!!?! Wow...send her on over to TK so she can be put in her place lol You totally don't need a "friend" like that!!!
    image Anniversary
  • Yep definitely sent me a text saying that!  So oh well, at least I know she wasn't that great of a friend in the first place!
  • So not five minutes ago I just told my friend, the bride, that husband and I couldn't accomodate their destination wedding expenses(as a bridesmaid, not guest). I suggested that I would come alone and fly in the day of-being that I would miss the rehearsal  the day before she just "invited" me to their reception back home instead.
    Kind of feel crummy not going to lie.
  • I know, it is a horrible feeling but oh well.  They should've thought it through before making such unrealistic expectations of people. 
  • This is a common problem with cruse weddings. Sometimes the wedding is in port and you can just go for that (though its still expensive and difficult).  Ask her if that is the case and then you don't have to go on or pay for the cruse.  Or just say its better to not have to deal with this friend.
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  • Yeesh.  You're better off without that bridezilla.  Be glad you got out when you did.
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  • In Response to Re: Destination Wedding Bridesmaid Expectations?:
    [QUOTE]Sigh.  BSC seems to be in full swing.  Check the post below this one because your bride is not the only one who has lost her damn mind.  I really don't feel like retyping my answer because it's essentially the same.  Here is the link: http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_fl-wedding-expensive-bm
    Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

    What does that mean? Sorry, I'm not up on all the abbreviations.
  • Sounds like this whole scenario is a blessing. You need this psycho out of your life. Noone needs to put up with that kind of selfish insanity. Please move on from this "friendship"!
  • In Response to Re: Destination Wedding Bridesmaid Expectations?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Destination Wedding Bridesmaid Expectations? : What does that mean? Sorry, I'm not up on all the abbreviations.
    Posted by LittleMissCutiePie[/QUOTE]

    BSC = Bat Shiit Crazy.  Tends to happen this time of year from all the holiday proposals.
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    AKA GoodLuckBear14
  • I like that- "BSC" LOL

    These people are nuts!  How do brides get so rude!?  So many just assume that we'll just jump at the opportunity to spend all of our money and vacation time on them. 

    May 2013 February Siggy: Invitations

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