Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Wedding Etiquette Forum
sweetpea0911
member
***raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways***
oh noes, sweetpea UPDATED her planning bio
XP: How many "rules" make you a bridezilla?
I'm not getting married until September of 2011 and let me please put this out there right now - I am NOT ready to make final decisions on anything except venue. However, my sister and I are close and it's been known since high school she would eventually be in my wedding, either as my MOH or a BM.
Now that I'm officially engaged, she's starting to look at BM dresses so that she can start to save for the one she picks out. I've decided to pick a color and let my bridesmaids choose their own dress..with a few "rules" attatched.
1. They must be the color I've chosen (and I plan to hand out swatches from several different designers so that they can find one they like in the right color at an acceptable price of them).
2. It must be cocktail (to the knee) or tea (to the calf) length.
3. It may not be strapless.
Am I limiting them too much? Is this encroaching on bridezilla territory? If it is, please let me know....my sister is asking for "the rules" and I don't know what to say!
Now that I'm officially engaged, she's starting to look at BM dresses so that she can start to save for the one she picks out. I've decided to pick a color and let my bridesmaids choose their own dress..with a few "rules" attatched.
1. They must be the color I've chosen (and I plan to hand out swatches from several different designers so that they can find one they like in the right color at an acceptable price of them).
2. It must be cocktail (to the knee) or tea (to the calf) length.
3. It may not be strapless.
Am I limiting them too much? Is this encroaching on bridezilla territory? If it is, please let me know....my sister is asking for "the rules" and I don't know what to say!
***raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways***
oh noes, sweetpea UPDATED her planning bio
This discussion has been closed.
Re: XP: How many "rules" make you a bridezilla?
Infertile, living childfree, advocating like a BOSS
I'm okay with the length thing, but please don't make them get them hemmed to the same exact length like the Rockettes.
BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM
I'm not a strapless fan, but my sister is. I didn't limit her style based on my preferences
Infertile, living childfree, advocating like a BOSS
Married Bio
Married
Planning
[QUOTE]There are a lot of strapless options for bridesmaid dresses. Other than that, picking a color and length seems fine to me.
Posted by PsyDet 2155[/QUOTE]
This.
And our church is a bit conservative, plus most of the girls who I'm thinking of are a bit...top heavy - I'd rather they not be pulling their dresses up all day long! Spaghetti straps are fine by me, and many of the dresses my sister and I have looked at online (the strapless styles) can add straps.
***raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways***
oh noes, sweetpea UPDATED her planning bio
Married
Planning
[QUOTE]And our church is a bit conservative, plus most of the girls who I'm thinking of are a bit...top heavy - I'd rather they not be pulling their dresses up all day long! Spaghetti straps are fine by me, and many of the dresses my sister and I have looked at online (the strapless styles) can add straps.
Posted by sweetpea0911[/QUOTE]
Alrighty then, that's reasonable. A part of me was waiting for you to say "because I'm wearing strapless and they can't steal my thunder." And FYI, properly fitting dresses and undergarments shouldn't leave them tugging at their tatas all night :)
Infertile, living childfree, advocating like a BOSS
Thanks everyone...bridezilla status is the last thing I want!! =]
***raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways***
oh noes, sweetpea UPDATED her planning bio
But thats neither here nor there. Your rules sound fine. They will appreciate being given the final say on their dress.
"Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
Married
Planning
And giving them a heads up about a church thing is cool, but do spaghetti straps make that much of a difference in their eyes?
BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM
[QUOTE]And giving them a heads up about a church thing is cool, but do spaghetti straps make that much of a difference in their eyes?
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]
Agreed. If the church is really that conservative, you'll probably want to be prepared to shop for wraps or shrugs.
Infertile, living childfree, advocating like a BOSS
BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM
My BMs can't wear strapless ( Catholic church rules) but somehow spaghetti straps are fine by the church. Not sure why, but I'm going with the flow.
FWIW, I am top heavy, and strapless and I don't mix well at all. Even properly fitted, even with well fitting undergarments, running around all day still makes them a tad uncomfortable.
Since you're basically letting them pick what they like, there isn't really a way to be "bridezilla" about it (unless the color was intended to make them look bad, which sounds like the opposite of what you're doing).
You have fewer restrictions than I did. Mine picks were floor length, grape color, Alfred Angelo, satin. So they had enough wiggle room to be happy - and they all love the color/can hem it up after the wedding if they want.
My sister/MOH offered to do all their alterations free of charge since she's a costume designer/tailor.
[QUOTE]Considering that it's mostly still the norm for all bridesmaids to wear the same dress, I don't think that's bridezilla at all. I know at least on this board we're all leaning towards letting them pick out their own dresses (which I did, but have never seen it at another wedding in real life), but I really don't think giving specifications on a style is a big deal. It's still your wedding and they're still a bridal party.
Posted by tlv204[/QUOTE]
Yup. My BMs were shocked that they don't all have to wear the same dress, and that I wouldn't be picking it out for them. So, I think your rules are fine. The only thing I'd say is that if you have a BM who just can't live without strapless, you may reconsider that rule. But that's your call.
My Bio
My FSIL wore a strapless gown at her own wedding and didn't get it fitted and it gaped all night. There is no way she would have gotten a BM gown for my wedding fitted. So, you can expect all grown women to get things fitted.
[QUOTE]Spaghetti straps are fine by me, and many of the dresses my sister and I have looked at online (the strapless styles) can add straps.
Posted by sweetpea0911[/QUOTE]
I was going to suggest that. My BMs are going with a strapless dress and I think 2 of the 3 will add spaghetti straps. The other one does NOT want the straps. Fine by me.
40/112