Trying to getting back to the wedding plammimg

Re: Trying to getting back to the wedding plammimg

• mybooboos member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  I am so very sorry for your tragic loss.  I can't begin to imagine the pain you must feel, but I am glad to hear that you have begun the process of moving forward, starting with the planning of your wedding.
  
  In my opinion, I'd want the guests to focus on the happiness of your wedding and not the sadness of your loss, so you could: 
  ** Have a notation within the program "In Memoriam" and list him and other family members that are not able to share the day with you.
  ** Wear a special piece of jewelry that belonged to him, so it is close to you on your special day.
  ** A special candle or floral arrangement on the alter, with a brief mention in the program that it's "in memory of"
  
  The mere fact that you are continuing to live your life, and share your special day with others, is a way of honoring him.  Everyone will know, understand and remember. 

  
  

  I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

  Presentation is everything!!
  

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• Lisa50 member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  I, too, am sorry for your loss and I commend you for moving forward so soon.  I am not a fan of memorials at weddings in any circumstance.  This circumstance confirms that feeling -- your family and friends will want to celebrate your wedding as a joyful occasion.  They have shared the tragedy and mourning with you (and will continue to do so).  I would be concerned that the wounds from your son's tragic death are far too raw to incorporate a memorial into the ceremony.  Your wedding celebration will give everyone a break from the sadness and trauma.
  
  As pp mentioned, perhaps wear a piece of jewelry that belonged to him.  Carry him in your heart, he is there always.  I wish you all the best as you move forward.

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• MikesAngie member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  hsbstone, again I am sorry for your loss. 
  
  I understand the want to mention your son at your wedding.  My dad whom I was extremely close to passed 11-07-01 he was the only parent I had until he married the only mom I know when I was 16.  My mom and baby sister were also extremely close to him and it would be too painful for us to mention his not being there and it will be over 9 years since his passing when I marry my best friend.
  
  Our venue has a HUGE fireplace mantel that they are allowing us to decorate with flowers, pictures and LED candles - a picture of  my dad will be there.  My something old is a sapphire and silver bracelet with infinity symbols, which was given to me in memorandum a month after my dad passed.  Sapphire was his birhtstone and  the infinity symbol was his favorite.  I am hoping to carry a handkerchief from my departed grandmother on my mom's side (if mom has any), as my something borrowed.
  
  We want the tears shed on our day to be happy ones, not ones in memorandum.
  
  My suggestion to you would be to wear a piece of his jewelry as previous posters have said, display a picture of him if you can or have a rose or lighted candle somewhere for him - but do not make your wedding a memorial.

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• Marrin713 member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  Again as well, I am so sorry for your loss.
  
  As for a memorial, I agree with the rest.  Something like a piece of jewelry or they have these lockets you can put his picture in and attach it to your bouquet.  For our dads, we had a small pub table at the reception with pictures of each dad with their families.  No explanation needed.

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• AbbeyS2011 member

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  Very sorry for your loss.
  
  I agree with PPs.  Carry a picture in a locket or something that will remind you of your son. 

  

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• rapunnzzll

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  So very sorry for your loss.  Your son was very brave.
  
  The pp's have some good ideas.  The locket with a picture of him could be incorporated in your bouquet, depending on what type you are having.  Perhaps a family member has a locket you could borrow to use for his picture.  I recently saw something with the pew decorations. They had a rose representing a departed loved one.  To the guests it was just part of the decor, but to the bride and groom, it had deeper meaning.  I agree that it should be something that is unobserved by your guests, but has a deep meaning for you.
  
  Thoughts and prayers to you and yours.
  

  
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• hsbstone

  

  November 2010 edited December 2011

  I have to get involved with something that matters for me in order to keep myself sane because the pain for my son's tragedy is taking a big toll on me and I still have a 14 y.o. to raise. I also think that is too soon but I have to try it, or the doctor will intervene hardly for my own sake, at least that was what he told me last time I had been in the hospital. Because I am self employed, the job itself is not helping that much. Many mornings I don't want even leave the bed, eat, or anything else. So I supposed if I could go back to the wedding planning it would be better because it's a thing where I can focus on and try to better deal with such excruciate pain.
  My son was  a 29 y.o. bachelor and he really didn't have any particular jewelry that I could use - maybe just his watch. I think the locket with his picture attached to my bouquet is a great idea; Our venue has a a fireplace with a mantel also, and to put a little floral arrangement with his picture is other great idea.
  I want to explain that like me, my son was not born or raised here in US even though he was a citizen by birth. He lived most of his life abroad (Europe and South America) because of his profession (he worked with soccer) and aside my elder and younger sons, no one knew him here. And that's the reason I wanted to have a memorial piece for him in my wedding. He will always be an important part of what my life - the best one - forever.
  Thanks for your thoughts, suggestions and prayers.

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