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Step-mom Trouble....

catchsomestarscatchsomestars
in Chit Chat
I am only 20 and getting married in May so the parents are still going to be a big deal for the wedding. My mom passed away a few years ago and my dad remarried very quickly and his wife is...well...let's just say we do not get along AT ALL. 

I will be leaving an empty chair for my mom and putting flowers down on it when my future mother-in-law will get her flowers....big question is...should I give my dad's wife flowers too? 

I really don't want because she is not a motherly figure to me at all and we don't get a long but I am thinking it would cause too much drama if I didn't. I'm just not sure what to do. Anyone been in this situation or have an idea of what to do? 
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Re: Step-mom Trouble....

  • phoeny_moonstarphoeny_moonstar member
    100 Comments
    Yeah you should probably give her flowers.
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  • SarahPLizSarahPLiz member
    10000 Comments
    Yes, suck it up and give her flowers. It would make your relationship even worse, and be an insult to your father, if you left her out.
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  • goheels05goheels05
    2500 Comments
    I think it would be nice of you to give her flowers anyway.
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  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    What will it hurt to give her flowers?  Corsages aren't that expensive, and it would be a huge insult to skip her.  Is it worth alienating your father, potentially for the rest of his life, over a rose and some baby's breath?  Suck it up.
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  • megk8ozmegk8oz member
    2500 Comments

    I would honestly do it ... I don't really care for my bio-dad (I actually don't mind his wife, but I hate him so much that it's hard to really have a relationship with her), and I actually wound up doing something small for the both of them. I was already doing something for my mom and dad (Well, step-dad) as well as my grandparents and FI was doing stuff for his parents and step-mom ... so I felt like a jerk excluding the 2 of them (Knowing they were going to see that we did flowers for so many other people).
     
    It doesn't have to be anything expensive, just a simple corsage or something. Especially since it seems you want to still have a good relationship with your dad (Which, you may not like her, but apparently he does). It will probably make him happy that you were kind enough to remember her, too.


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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I do not know if you have to, but I would.  The cost is so small but the gesture goes a long way.






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  • jeannigirljeannigirl member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    That must be very hard, my condolscences to you on the loss of your mom.  We are also going to be without FI's mother has she was taken from us tragically. It is very painful for my FI not to have his mother.I think that it would be the right thing to do in respect to your father.
     
    Thats has far has I would go on that one. Your father also needs to understand your feelings here has this is your wedding day and you do not have your mother there, he should also respect you and not push his new wife in that place of a mom.

    I do hope that you have a beautiful day has you make that commitment in a new phase of your life.
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  • laureninglaurening
    100 Comments
    Give her the flowers. The wedding isn't the time or place to start family drama. You want great memories of your wedding and not as a day known for a big fight. Unfortunately, even if you have legitimate reasons for not liking her, you'll be seen as the petty bad guy in the situation.

    GIving her the flowers doesn't mean that you suddenly like her or that you're somehow a doormat and giving in. It's just the polite thing to do.
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  • diana333diana333 member
    100 Comments
    I would say be the bigger person and give her some flowers. Think of your dad's feelings. You want to continue to be close to your dad. Best of Luck!
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  • jamm2019jamm2019 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Comments

    Are you doing a corsage for your FMIL? 

    At my wedding I gave flowers to all parents including my stepmother, and my husbands stepfather even though they didn't play the parent rolls in our lives.  I think that it might be a good idea to make everything look uniform in your pictures.
    I even gave flowers to our grand parents.

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