Wedding Date

Re: Wedding Date

• kyrgyzstan member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  When we got engaged and chose our date, FI was non-deployable, something we were both bummed about. A week later, he was transferred. We were super psyched, but it definitely cast some worry on our shoulders. He was supposed to be at pre-deployment training for the month of our wedding, and his boss was going to let him have our wedding day (only) off. So he would have had to drive 3 hours to our wedding, get ready, and drive back that night. Luckily, the training shifted to the month after our wedding, beginning 4 days after. 

  
  

  My advice is to keep an open communication with his chain of command, and put military clauses in all of your contracts with vendors. I just got to add a military clause into a videography contract I signed today, and I wouldn't have gone with him had he not been open to it. 

  
  

  Best of luck and congrats!

  I hate Dave Ramsey

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• kyrgyzstan member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  Also, delete this post and get a new screen name that isn't your name. Lots of crazies on TK/TN/TB!

  I hate Dave Ramsey

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• calindi member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  Hi Lauren, and welcome!  First, if this is your real name, the best thing you can do is drop this (TK makes it hard to delete screen names) and create a new one to use more frequently that doesn't tie back to your real name in any way.  This is for the safety and security of our service members.  Read up on OPSEC and PERSEC (google them) as they'll be very important to respect as a significant other of a service member.
  
  Second, there's no way to tell what the Coast Guard will do.  Straight speak, no they won't respect your wedding plans.  It does depend on his chain of command and how understanding they are, what else is going on at the time (deployments, training, etc.).  The best thing you can do is pick a holiday weekend as they're more likely to have time off (but not guaranteed) and get a military clause put into each vendor contract that states that if you need to change the date due to change of orders that prevent your FI from being at the wedding for any reason.  Usually it states that they will change the date to another mutually agreeable date at no additional charge or loss of deposit.  You may have to take an unpopular date, like a Friday or Sunday night, but you won't lose money.

  
  
  
  
  
  

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• SamiJoeB

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  Make sure with all your vendors & contracts, to get military clauses. Sometimes vendors will just let you switch dates without losing money. You're lucky with the CG, they dont have the 6-12 month deployments. You get 3-4 month patrols. My FIL is a retired master chief. As long as your wedding isn't during a patrol period, you should be okay. We're all here to help, and I'm sure that between all of us, we've seen or heard it all!

  

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• firsttimersluck member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  1. BAHAHAHAH I love military wives/brides Practice good opsec!! :P (but seriously... practice good opsec... )
  2. I feel your pain. We had all of our vendors picked out in Chattanooga when the Navy decided that around our wedding the pilots would be going through special training so we had to completely change gears to Seattle  (luckily we didn't put any money down yet). It sucks, welcome to the military life style
  3. I agree with the pp that you need to keep an open line of communication. Have him go and talk tot hem as soon as possible about future plans and how they feel about you guys setting a date, etc. We can give you that info, the command can.
  4. I don't know how the coast guard works, but the navy is really good about trying to get you at least a few days off for the wedding, if you get in that leave slip asap (granted we aren't getting enough off to have a HM.. just the way it goes)
  5. SamiJoe has a great point-many vendors will do military clauses to make planning a little easier for you. Just try to find those military-minded vendors   We haven't had to worry about this, as because of the training he will be going thru, we know that they won't be sending him anywhere. It might be a good idea to also look for these types. like the pp mentioned, holidays may be a safer bet.
  6. Congrats on your new engagement!!
  
  (sorry... numbering my thoughts helps when it's 7am and I'm half asleep still :P )

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• Lauren Nappi member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  Thank you all! You had some really great advice. My fiance right now should be speaking to his superior officer. Wish me luck! As for my use name... when I was signing up my computer by accidentally filled in my name. I am looking into switching it because I don't really want to delete my account and then make a new one. I'll keep you guys in the loop!

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• calindi member

  

  May 2011 edited December 2011

  You can't switch the screen name... if you want, you can just leave this one as-is and not use it on the boards, just create a new one to use for posting on the forums.

  
  
  
  
  
  

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