RSVP Worries/Vent!!!

inhisname2010 · March 2012

SOOOO....every post I read said to invite more people because you will have many who will not come. Well...the RSVP response date is 3/27/2012 and already 121 people responded yes and 9 declined...I know there alot more who are coming but have not sent their responses back yet. We only wanted about 150-175 TOPSbut it looks like we may have a whooooollllleeee lot more. It doesn't help that my FI's mother keeps inviting people. I had to give her a STERN no more people only a few nights ago....Ugh...I just needed to vent a little. Anyone facing an over expectance of guests???

chickenbut143 · March 2012

Nope, most of the posts I read about this said to invite the amount your venue could hold. I know you said you only wanted 150-175, but can your venue hold everyone you invited?

Good for you for putting your foot down!!

lcrvaric · March 2012

We only wanted 130 people and we invited 168. People who we were expecting to RSVP no are RSVPing yes so we will see what happens. GOod luck with that! Go girl for putting your foot down!

bridalgal50 · March 2012

Granted out invites only went out 2 weeks ago, but I am getting worried that we won't get nearly the expected number!! we are only at 53 of 150! Yikes! The responses are just not coming in very quickly. Hmmmm....perhaps we will end up making LOTS of phone calls!?

inhisname2010 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_rsvp-worriesvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:fa9a6cd3-e508-40d0-9127-d2bfe41cb63ePost:c6b5c367-828a-4c15-9a4b-a6b658d3b641">Re: RSVP Worries/Vent!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Nope, most of the posts I read about this said to invite the amount your venue could hold. I know you said you only wanted 150-175, but <strong>can your venue hold everyone you invited</strong>? Good for you for putting your foot down!!
Posted by chickenbut143[/QUOTE]

Our venue can hold up to 275 so that isn't an issue. We wanted to stay at about 175 for the cost. I had to be firm and make sure she repeated after me...no more people. She has invited an extra 10 people in the past 2 weeks...sheesh...

laurmd · March 2012

I always heard you should invite the amount you can afford in case everyone RSVPs yes. Despite knowing that, we invited 40 more people over our planned number. Luckily our caterer is working with us and we can cut out some of the fancy hors d'oeurves that we had wanted to serve. I hope it works out that you get your target number!

futuremrsdavies · March 2012

My invites only went out this week bc I am the WORST ever.....but I had a large group of family members RSVP within the last 2 weeks just based on the STD we sent out back in Sept haha. I was told that you should invite 20% over the number you want expecting that many to respond no. I didn't really follow that, but I am aiming for 150, knowing that 175 is my max budget wise, so we invited 171 people (most without guests) and figured, although its slightly rude, that if we drop below the 150 we can just tell certain people they now have a plus 1. I don't really care what ettiquette dictates on that because I had to do what I had to do

rlavach · March 2012

I've never read a post on here where a knottie said to invite more than you can hold/afford. We can afford 95, so we invited 95. I think you only have a larger decline ratio when you invite a lot of extended family or friends of friends. We only invited immediate family and close friends. If we didn't personally know them, they weren't coming. So it is unlikely we'll have many no's, if any. We've received 1 no so far.

chickenbut143 · March 2012

That sucks that all your invites are over your budget, OP but it could be worse...at least your venue can hold everyone. FI and I talked about going over our budget (obviously before we started getting RSVPs back) and figure that if we have to put some stuff on a credit card to enjoy our day w/ close family and friends, then it's worth it!

You can see from my RSVP stats, we've had quite a few no's. I didn't take into account those with kids and springbreak. Turns out spring break in VA (where quite a few friends are) is the week before. Most parents don't want to take their kids out of school the week after spring break to come to our Friday wedding in FL.

Bummer, but we totally understand.

That being said, i think i'm definitly the exception to the rule with all of our no's. I talked to a friend of mine who got married in Hawaii, her turnout ratio was 30%. I guess thats the risk we run with destination weddings.

inhisname2010 · March 2012

Yeah...we can afford 200 if necessary but I really don't want to. The major problem was he is an ONLY child so I warned him but he didn't take it seriously...lol. I'm not stressing over it but I am hoping for only 175. We'll see...hopefully we'll be getting some more No's soon

cdbishop · March 2012

It is tough, but I agree with some PP, you kind of need to go in expecting everyone to say yes so you should only invite the amount you can afford. But know that you are past that stage, there isn't much else you can do about the people saying yes.

em01092 · March 2012

So how is your FMIL inviting guests? Verbally or does she have access to the actual paper invitations?

Worst case scenario, I would totally not hesitate to either ask FMIL for the money to pay for these additional guests, or have FMIL explain that she spoke out of line and that they actuall aren't invited. I know that's so not etiquette correct, but if SHE invites people you can't afford, she should either pay or admit her mistake.

inhisname2010 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_rsvp-worriesvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:fa9a6cd3-e508-40d0-9127-d2bfe41cb63ePost:314a4c3b-47d4-481f-bd3a-933e57ac62f1">Re: RSVP Worries/Vent!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>So how is your FMIL inviting guests</strong>? Verbally or does she have access to the actual paper invitations? Worst case scenario, I <strong>would totally not hesitate to either ask FMIL for the money to pay for these additional guests</strong>, or have FMIL explain that she spoke out of line and that they actually aren't invited. I know that's so not etiquette correct, but if SHE invites people you can't afford, she should either pay or admit her mistake.
Posted by em01092[/QUOTE]

VERBALLY!!!! We just found out two night ago from my FI's aunt that she invited a cousin who bought his plane ticket already and DIDN'T tell us!!! His aunt ended up giving him about $300.00, which is more than necessary for the 2 extra people (the cousin and his spouse). My FMIL has no real income to speak of so she is not contributing AT ALL. We are even paying for her dress!!! My FI did tell her for the 6 extra people she invited, if the come she will need to pay the $400.00 for them but I soooo don't see that happening which is why I had to make sure she got it...NO MORE PEOPLE!!! My FI is ok with the 2 extra because his aunt gave him the $$$ for it<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />

em01092 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_rsvp-worriesvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:fa9a6cd3-e508-40d0-9127-d2bfe41cb63ePost:6f2a2ac0-19cb-47ac-a6d6-428ff6a81bf5">Re: RSVP Worries/Vent!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: RSVP Worries/Vent!!! : VERBALLY!!!! We just found out two night ago from my FI's aunt that she invited a cousin who bought his plane ticket already and DIDN'T tell us!!! His aunt ended up giving him about $300.00, which is more than necessary for the 2 extra people (the cousin and his spouse). My FMIL has no real income to speak of so she is not contributing AT ALL. We are even paying for her dress!!! My FI did tell her for the 6 extra people she invited, if the come she will need to pay the $400.00 for them but I soooo don't see that happening which is why I had to make sure she got it...NO MORE PEOPLE!!! My FI is ok with the 2 extra because his aunt gave him the $$$ for it
Posted by inhisname2010[/QUOTE]

<div>Ah ok. Well I'm glad you guys got it worked out! </div>

chickenbut143 · March 2012

I'm sooo glad you both put your foot down. This could get messy if she keeps it up!

Good Luck!!

blgrout · March 2012

Oh, FMIL's inviting people. I thought I was immune to that, but I was wrong. Luckily, she only tried to invite 2 people, and neither one wants to come. FFIL was actually quite pissed at her for doing this, and they ended up fighting over it last weekend. Quite funny to sit in on, even if it was a little awkward.

We have received very few no's so far, but our RSVP's coming in have come to a dead stop, so I assume I'll have to make a lot of phone calls. Many of the people who haven't mailed their cards have told me verbally that they are coming, but I don't have anything official. I expected as much, so I'll go to the phone list in a few weeks.

We didn't dare invite more than our venue could hold, just in case. I'm glad too, because we haven't had many no's yet. We have had some guest list crashers though, which is annoying, but we're dealing with it.

robinsauro · March 2012

We've been getting a lot more yes replies than originally expected, too, but I'm thinking that maybe the people who aren't going to make it are waiting to send back their cards (like maybe they're not sure yet or something)? You might get more "no" rsvp's as it gets closer. Just a thought...

rardito · March 2012

Always plan for 100% attendance.

I am not having this problem...although my venue holds 500 and I only invited 186. We are having more of a problem with no one in FI's family RSVPing because I think they are used to just showing up without sending the RSVP back. So irritating.

inhisname2010 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_rsvp-worriesvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:fa9a6cd3-e508-40d0-9127-d2bfe41cb63ePost:14ce34c1-3502-4c86-9fdc-a964f3352b33">Re: RSVP Worries/Vent!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]We've been getting a lot more yes replies than originally expected, too, but I'm thinking that maybe the people who aren't going to make it are waiting to send back their cards (like maybe they're not sure yet or something)?<strong> You might get more "no" rsvp's as it gets closer. Just a thought...
</strong>Posted by robinsauro[/QUOTE]

That's what I hope happens!!!

theatretwin · March 2012

I feel your pain. We purposefully went the other way...and yes, my mom added 2 extra tables as well, but I got her to agree to pay for those people, since the others we're paying for ourselves. I was so afraid of falling into that trap that I didn't invite anyone I couldn't afford to spend.

That being said, I have gone over budget in other areas. I agree with someone ealier, maybe the NOs are going to come in last.

We're about 60% rsvp'd, with one month to go, and I'm already trying to follow up and get those folks I expect to say YES to just RSVP already...
Good luck!

RSVP Worries/Vent!!!

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