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My mother!

LanuriaLanuria
in Wedding Woes
A little back story for you all:

I met my fiancé on World of Warcraft and he proposed in April while visiting me and my family. He lives in Wisconsin while I lived in Florida. When my mother found out about our proposal, she was happy, but said the wedding would have to be in Florida. Sure, okay, we went along with it.

Now I've moved up to Wisconsin with him and things are fabulous! I love this little town, the people here, it's beautiful, lots of little parks and outdoor venues, perfect for our wedding (Since we are both non religious, we don't plan on getting married in a church.) But my mother is still demanding the wedding be in Florida. When my fiance asked "How is my dad and my two best friends going to get there?" my mother said "Well, they can car pool or find some cheap flights. We won't be paying for them, though."

My mother's intentions are good, I think. She wants my Oma to see the wedding, since she missed my sister's. (She got married in a chapel near an Army base since her fiance was getting ready to go over seas.) and she wants the rest of my family down in Florida to attend, but I feel like she's forgetting about the family my fiance has and the friends we have up here.

We haven't even started planning yet and I feel like she's already controlling it. We only get 3k to do the wedding (It's how much was spent on my sister's) and we really don't want a big, princess wedding day. We are pretty simple people and believe that a wedding isn't going to change how we feel about one another. It won't make us love one another even more, it's not possible. But my mother is wanting this big, elaborate thing in a backyard somewhere (I'm not feeling the backyard Florida-Swamp wedding.) and I don't know how to actually tell her that my fiancé and I just want a little something in a park somewhere with a simple dress for me and a simple suit for him.

Help? How do I break this to my mother without her disowning me?
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Re: My mother!

  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_mother?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:5c5ca384-24ad-4a13-8ac8-ec08b963fcd1Post:d203e3a1-a106-4d13-ac19-08f6d22d7a7a">My mother!</a>:
    [QUOTE]A little back story for you all: I met my fiancé on World of Warcraft and he proposed in April while visiting me and my family. He lives in Wisconsin while I lived in Florida. When my mother found out about our proposal, she was happy, but said the wedding would have to be in Florida. Sure, okay, we went along with it. Now I've moved up to Wisconsin with him and things are fabulous! I love this little town, the people here, it's beautiful, lots of little parks and outdoor venues, perfect for our wedding (Since we are both non religious, we don't plan on getting married in a church.) But my mother is still demanding the wedding be in Florida. When my fiance asked "How is my dad and my two best friends going to get there?" my mother said "Well, they can car pool or find some cheap flights. We won't be paying for them, though." My mother's intentions are good, I think. She wants my Oma to see the wedding, since she missed my sister's. (She got married in a chapel near an Army base since her fiance was getting ready to go over seas.) and she wants the rest of my family down in Florida to attend, but I feel like she's forgetting about the family my fiance has and the friends we have up here. We haven't even started planning yet and I feel like she's already controlling it. We only get 3k to do the wedding (It's how much was spent on my sister's) and we really don't want a big, princess wedding day. We are pretty simple people and believe that a wedding isn't going to change how we feel about one another. It won't make us love one another even more, it's not possible. But my mother is wanting this big, elaborate thing in a backyard somewhere (I'm not feeling the backyard Florida-Swamp wedding.) and I don't know how to actually tell her that my fiancé and I just want a little something in a park somewhere with a simple dress for me and a simple suit for him. Help? How do I break this to my mother without her disowning me?
    Posted by Lanuria[/QUOTE]

    <div>If your mother's paying for this party, she gets to plan it. If you don't want to have it in Florida, don't take the cash. A wedding costs the amount of the license.</div>
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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011

    Don't take her money and pay for the wedding you want yourselves. It's really that simple.

    Report Reply
  • snwdngosnwdngo member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Have you tried sitting down with her and chatting? Has she seen this little town that you are in love with? Does she truly understand all of your reasons for wanting it in WI?

    BUT

    Have you thought about how your Mom feels? Her daugher met a guy off of a scary internet game and moved away and married him leaving her alone, she is always worried and hope that if you guys get married there maybe he will fall in love with Florida and she will get you back...

    LMAO sorry EXACT same situation happened with my Fiance and myself! Just a different RPG Wink
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