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XP: To Send or Not? Invite help!

I posted this on my club board but figured I'd ask for help here as well to get as many views as possible...

Has anyone else re-evaluated their guest list since they first made it?

Last year, I gathered addresses, and sent STDs. I DIDN'T send STDs to people who I was sort of unsure of how our relationship would develope over the nearly 2 years that I was going to be engaged... if that makes any sense? Basically, there were some people who I wasn't sure if we were going to stay in contact so I didn't send them STDs but still got their addresses (ie - people I worked with at summer camp two years ago, some girls I knew in HS/middle school/etc).

In all honestly, I can pretty much invite anyone I want. We wouldn't be over budget or over capacity even if I sent invites to EVERYONE on my list (including the maybes who didn't get STDs). Buuuuut now I'm rethinking sending invites to some people that I'm barely in contact with or just in contact over FB. I don't want to seem gift grabby, but I also don't want to recind any implied invites.

What should I do?

One particular situation is with a family that we lived with for a month or so while living in London. I worked at a summer camp with the daughter, but really haven't spoken to anyone in over a year. They are obviously from the UK, and it would be really amazing if they were able to make it, especially since we're not SUPER close. I want to send them an invite to let them know that we are grateful for their support and opening their home to us, but I don't want them to take it as "I know you kinda and know you won't come but gimme gift!" Should I maybe add a note saying something along the lines of "Thank you for your help when we were in London, just wanted to know we were thinking of you!"?

ETA: Just to be clear, most of these people I didn't say "HEY I NEED YOUR ADDRESS FOR MY WEDDING!" so it could be construed as just updating my address book.

Chrissy & David -- 10/10/10

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This is my "OMG-Don't-Drop-Me" face

Planning Bio

Re: XP: To Send or Not? Invite help!

  • Jen72682Jen72682 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I would invite them. Better to place the ball in their court as wether they come or send a gift. I think it would be easier to deal with then stress yourself over if they would get upset or think you are gift grabby.

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  • edited December 2011

    I think if there aren't budget/space concerns you should invite them. I would eliminate people off the list I either don't particularly get along with anymore and those who wouldn't be expecting an invite anyways.  As for the UK family, I would invite them-they would probably see that as a really nice gesture and the note you mentioned would be lovely as well.

    I totally reevaluated our guest list a couple days ago (my contributions anyway) and ended up eliminating 14 people that I am not close with or haven't seen in a couple years. It was nice. Fi will be doing the same thing and I think he can eliminate about 10 bringing our total to be invited to about 120.  This will open up some serious funds for us to put aside for something else.

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  • edited December 2011
    I ended up whacking a ton of maybes from my list, but that was for capacity limitations.

    If you honestly would like it if they came, go ahead and invite them.  If you think it might detract from your wedding in any way by having people you're not really close with, don't invite them.  I wouldn't put any more thought into it than whether or not you'd like them to be at your wedding.

    Don't worry about seeming gift grabby.  I don't generally feel obligated to send a gift if I can't attend a wedding of someone I used to be close to.  I usually just figure they're inviting others from our circle and don't want to leave me out, so I'll send a card or small gift.  I don't think it puts you in a bad light at all if you invite them.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with Whitney.  I would invite only the people who you like and would truly want there on your wedding day.  I'm inviting quite a few people who I haven't seen in awhile because I'm a sentimental mess like that.  LOL.  I think that most people like weddings enough to not get an invite from an old friend and immediately think that you are just trying to get gifts, they can tell a genuine invite from a gift grabby invite.  
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with PP, we are inviting people we haven't seen in awhile but we would really like to see so I don't feel bad because if they showed up it would be great.  I think most people understand that you are sharing the great news and aren't trying to be gift gabby at least that's how I look at it. 
  • prideeinpynkprideeinpynk member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, see, I would LOVE to have all these people there. So looks like I'm just going to send the invites and add personal notes to the ones that I might not have spoken to in awhile.

    Chrissy & David -- 10/10/10

    image
    This is my "OMG-Don't-Drop-Me" face

    Planning Bio

  • edited December 2011
    i would send the invite now...I sent my international ones quite a while ago.  I wanted to give them plenty of time if they did care to make arrangements.  
  • prideeinpynkprideeinpynk member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'd love to... if I had my invites yet... *sideways angry glare at FI*

    Chrissy & David -- 10/10/10

    image
    This is my "OMG-Don't-Drop-Me" face

    Planning Bio

  • kwagner1211kwagner1211 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Just as an FYI, we cut the list (and even added a couple) up to two days before the invites were sent. We figured if we were still unsure on inviting someone at that time, then they obviously weren't that important to us. I did send an international invite even though I know they wouldn't come just because I wanted them to know we would have liked for them to be there. They actually ended up getting a kick out of seeing what American invitations are like!
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