Should I just walk down the aisle alone?

lexakelley · April 2011

Hello,

I am getting married June 11th, and I am faced with the issue of having 2 step-fathers, my mom had me when she was very young, and my birth father never stayed in the picture. My 1st step dad is my middle sisters father and he has been around me since I was 3 months old. When they split up, he stayed in the picture for my sister and I. Then when I was 4 my mom met and married my 2nd step-father, and they are still together til this day.

I asked them both to walk me down the aisle together, but that did not go too well, so I am jsut thinking of walking down the aisle alone. Is that right to do? I do not want to pick and choose because they are both a part of my life.

Any suggestions on how to make this work without hurting anyone or myself in the end would be great!

PenelopeSnuz · April 2011

You could walk half way by yourself and FI could meet you and walk you down the rest of the way. I think that is really sweet!

Sorry you are going through this!

MrsMLRB · April 2011

What about having just your mom walk you down the aisle?

butterflyfan · April 2011

Ask you mom to walk you down the isle.

hz80408 · April 2011

I agree, why not have your mom walk you?

lexakelley · April 2011

Thank you all so much! I was thinking the same thing of either my fiance meeting me halfway or my mom and grandmother walking me down the aisle!

I am so glad I have this community to chat with and vent to!

Thank you all for your support

Abbyjensen · April 2011

Such a hard situation

.

I would ask your mom and your grandmother, like you were thinking. That would be really sweet.

lkeefner · April 2011

I am in a similar situation to you...I have had a rocky relationship with my father and i feel that it is an honor to walk the bride down the aisle. It was very easy for me to decide to have my Mom walk me down the aisle because she has been mother and father to me for most of my life. Don't get me wrong, no matter the hard times we have gone through, I love my dad and (my stepdad too) but i felt my Mom deserved the honor.

KellyBrian2013 · April 2011

Would your step-fathers be agreeable to one walking you halfway and the other walking you the other half? That is ultimately what I will be doing with my stepfather and biological father (who has been "around" but not regularly over the last 10+ years).

I originally was going to ask them both to walk me down the aisle together, as you did, but my stepdad mentioned in passing to my mom that he'd be more comfortable escorting me from the doorway halfway up the aisle before giving me to my dad, which I think is a fantastic way to honor both of them.

Otherwise, there is nothing wrong with having FI escort you partway or your mom and/or grandmother.

It's unfortunate when grown men can't act like adults and just suck it up for a day, especially when it comes to such an important day for somebody they presumably both care about very much.

clevergirl9 · April 2011

My Mom walked my sister down the aisle. My father had little to do with us after leaving Mom when we were preteeens. She said my Mom raised her, not him,

Since they arent receptive to your lovely gesture of offering it to both ...your Mom would be the logical choice.

Of course many brides have abandoned the antiquated idea a woman is "owned" by male family members and walk down alone, especially if you are over 20s

I have a friend, fatherless, who had her new EIL do it, he walked her down then said "for her mother, I do" when asked whose giving her away

lexakelley · April 2011

Great Ideas!

Yes, it is so unfortunate. The problem is, it's not both of them, it is one of them acting crazy (the one who is not married to my mom). He thinks it's not tradtional to have to fathers give a daughter away...NEWSFLASH...I don't deal with my birth father, so nothing is traditional!!

May MOH suggested I have one walk me halfway and the other walk me the other way, but I am just so frustrated with this whole thing right now. My wedding is June 11th, and he just told me this yesterday. For a while I thought I was the crazy one for not telling him that they were both going to walk me down the aisle, but I see now it's because it's not going his way.

Thank you all again for the advice

lexakelley · April 2011

Just wanted to send a follow-up, I just received a text message that my sister's father is not only-not walking me down the aisle. but he feels that with this situation, he should not attend at all.

How sad it is for me to not only be snubbed like this for my wedding, but now one of them is not coming at all anymore.

I will have my mother's husband walk me down the aisle, as he never seen a problem with the two of them walking me down the aisle, now I don't have to choose, but it is a bit heartbreaking-especially since I don't have a relationship with my birth father.

.....Well on to more important things like marrying the man of my dreams!!!!!

Love is Bald · April 2011

so sorry that stepdad #1 has chosen to act this way

you've def been acting like the adult here and were considerate of everyone elses feelins... hang in there girl!

Should I just walk down the aisle alone?

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