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Venting...FI is being annoying!

mimi412mimi412 member
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in Snarky Brides

I've never posted on here just to vent before, but I don't have anyone else that might understand this and I NEED to get it off my chest...My FI is being so annoying I can barely take it! I am 3 months away from the wedding, and trying my best to make it as beautiful and creative as I can (we are doing an art theme).  every little idea that I come up with, that I think is great and am SO excited about, he poo-poos on immediately and makes me feel stupid. I don't know if anyone out there is an artist or in a creative field, but it is a really crushing feeling when someone puts down your creative thoughts. It makes me feel so proud when I come up with these ideas, and then he takes all the wind out of my sails and leaves my spirit feeling so defeated.

I dont mean to make him sound like a bad guy, but he just doesnt get how much this means to me. I've already had a talk with him about how important it is to me for our wedding to be unique and original, and that I wish he would support me. He just keeps saying that my ideas are "weird" or "no one does that" - That is exactly what I'm going for! I thought the men were just supposed to sit back and let us do most of the planning. :( Have any of you run into this and what else should I do?

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Re: Venting...FI is being annoying!

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    kimheartsscottkimheartsscott member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    My fiance is VERY involved in our wedding planning, and I love it.  Ask him why he doesn't like your ideas, aside from them being "weird"  Or, if it is something you can make, like a unique centerpiece, make one and show him.  Maybe he is just picturing them looking amatuer or ugly when really they look great.

    Also, remember it is his wedding too.  If he really hates something, you are going to have to let it go.
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    JNKS2328JNKS2328 member
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    I'm having a similar problem. My wedding is black and white with some aqua in it. I have done really good sticking to black and white and just using aqua where we need color. So far I have the sash on the BM dresses (the dress is black), the table runners and chair bows, and the paper lanterns on the ceiling of the tent are 60% white 40% aqua.... anytime I bring up doing something aqua he says everything is aqua and its going to look funny... its really not all aqua. I just wanted the ribbon on my favors to be aqua- he won. they are black... grr!
    I know exactly where you are coming from. He does not like a lot of my ideas. Problem is that we are on a tight budget and I have to do alot with what I can manage to think of for ideas. He just doesn't quite understand.
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    duckie1905duckie1905 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    It is his wedding too and he has every right to poo poo your ideas if he doesn't like them or you can't afford them.  While I think there is a nice way to express dislike he has every right to dislike your ideas.  If he can't tell you nicely you have a larger problem than "he doesn't like my creative ideas."

    But, if he doesn't like something I also think he should take the time to think of an alternative idea.
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    suz62984suz62984
    First Comment
    If he is saying "No" to all of your ideas try providing a visual for him. Another way is to have him pick out 3 "centerpiece" ideas, you pick out 3 "centerpiece" ideas and then you sit down and discuss them.  If you can't decide on something narrow it down and ask friends and family.  Also, I know it is his wedding too but if he isn't contributing, or even trying to contribute ideas, then just go with one of yours.  You can't wait around forever and go through tons of ideas that don't seem to be pleasing him.
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    mimi412mimi412 member
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    Thank you everyone for your feedback. I think you're right, men are more visual so it is a good idea to try and show him rather than just telling him my ideas. I realize that it's his wedding also, but he isn't contributing any ideas to the planning. He is good about helping me with the checklist of things that need to be done, but when I ask him his opinion if we do this or that, he keeps saying he doesn't care and I can do whatever I want. Then when I tell him my ideas, he says no! I can really relate to you, JNKS!

    Plus, none of these ideas are expensive. We are on a tight budget, (or should I say my parents are) and I would never make them pay for something extravagant or that we just dont need. These are more like things that I could make myself, like the invitations for example. JJWillis, one of my ideas was to decorate our reception room with easels surrounding the perimeter and original works of art on display. Since our room isnt all that pretty, were not allowed to hang decorations, and we have an art theme, I thought this was perfect. Nope, too weird. I think I'm going to make one though to show him, and hopefully thatll help...a BIG thank you to all of you for being here for me! It's so nice to know us knotties have each other's backs!
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    MeShell841MeShell841 member
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    Ohh I love the easel idea!  It's perfect for your theme!  Maybe you could even set one up blank and let guests help you create something!  I wouldn't set out paints... but maybe charcoal pencils or colored pencils?  The guests could write message on it or draw on it!
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