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FI & I arguing about when to send out invites: please help!

laurenross01laurenross01 member
10 Comments
in New Jersey
Hi all,
it's been a while since I've been on, I've been going to a TON of wedding and not spending any time on mine!
Fiance and I were just talking- and we had decided to not send save the dates- and to just send out our invites early.
Apparently we have different views on "early." I was thinking since etiquette says "6-8 weeks" we would do 3 months. He thinks 6 months!
While he is fine with sending them at 8 weeks and then doing a save the date, he wants to know WHY it can't be sent at 6 months.
I have nothing but "it's just not right" which isn't cutting it.
 I also said it's inconvenient for people to have an invitation 6 months prior to the date.. which he said was silly (even though it's not)
SO - why can't they be sent at 6 months? (In "man" mode)
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Re: FI & I arguing about when to send out invites: please help!

  • Reilly626Reilly626 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We did 2.75 months... a lotta out of towners combined with summer... we just wanna know!  6 seems a little early.. people may forget?
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  • goaliegirlgoaliegirl member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    People are going to forget for one, and plans can change and things can come up in 6 months, so people that say yes, may have to change their RSVP which will be a realy pain in the neck!  6 months is way too early IMO.
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  • DMLJDMLJ member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    agree with PP- why not just get STD from vista print and send them 6 months early.  I just used the free post cards and their template to do them.  People seemed to appreciate getting the advance notice-- I was against them at first too.  Then do them 3 months out.
    image
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  • tinydancer842tinydancer842
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The only reason I did a STD was because 

    1. They were cute
    2. Everyone kept asking "When is the wedding & where can we get a hotel?"

    I'd send out a STD & then invites 6/8 weeks prior. SO many things change in those 6 months that people can't plan for. I am almost 2 months out & only now are people starting to make plans, deciding if they are able to take time to come to NJ. My one cousin also got pregnant & now her whole family may not attend b/c she's due the week of my wedding. So even if they RSVPed 6 months out they may have to cancel later which is just another stress/hassle to deal with! 
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  • leah2bleah2b member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    6 months is too early and may cause problems down the line - things very well may come up for people during those six months andi t may end up causing you some pain with the guest list as it gets closer.  I think like 3 /12 months would be fine.  He should just get the word out to people that live long distance.  Maybe start a wbsite with some details that you can refer people to in the meantime and send an email letting people know about it.
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  • kasabbykasabby
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think 6 months is too early. Are you totally opposed to Save the Date's? I would send STD's now--DIY ones or a little something so that guests are aware of the date.

    I am getting married next July and my main concern is that people will book vacations. I am going to send STD's about 10 months before the wedding. I know that is a little early but I want people to be able to plan. Then we will send the invites out in a normal timeframe.
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  • LolyalyssaLolyalyssa member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Since your wedding is the end of June, I would send out your Save the Dates around the time that People take Spring Break.  They usually come back and start thinking about summer.  Wait for winter to be over and then send them. 

    In the meantime, put together a wedding website with all the relevant info and send out a cute email blast to the out of towners.  That way they can look online for the hotel if they are worried but you don't incur the expense of STDs and you don't have to send anything to people who are local.

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  • NJMom050911NJMom050911
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We sent ours 4 months out because of the summer, out of towneres and a holiday week is right after our date. 6 months is a bit early because as pp said people might forget, or need to change their RSVP which create a whole another issue for you. Also if you have an early rsvp date and you later want to invite additional guests (and it's past the RSVP date) they will know they were list B or add ons...
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  • laurenross01laurenross01 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone! This logic seems to have done the trick for the guy!
    Appreciate it again! :)
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