XP: Charlotte new in planning stages & Have many questions

Re: XP: Charlotte new in planning stages & Have many questions

• shaygray7 member

  

  June 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_xp-charlotte-new-in-planning-stages-have-many-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:115Discussion:4b8d5603-42a8-4549-ac73-c667e8ec889ePost:76d923c2-2e38-42a7-b940-184774928d78">XP: Charlotte new in planning stages & Have many questions</a>:
  [QUOTE]Wanted to introduce myself and say that I'm so glad these forums are here!  My friends who aren't getting married now just don't seem to understand why I want to talk wedding all the time lol. After going back and forth on eloping to having an at home wedding, we have officially decided to hold our wedding here in Charlotte where we live.  Most of our family will be coming from out of town but it's only a few hours so I'm not too concerned about that.  We are on a strict budget of 5k-6k for 100 ish people.  We have looked at Francis Beatty Park in Matthews and love it!  We are going to look at the other parks that will accommodate around 100+ people also.   I already have several delimias starting with the guest list.  OK so we are right at 120 people but I want to invite 100 or less.  Do most people do the List A & B thing to be able to include them all?  Or do you invite the 120 and hope that they don't come?  Or do we just cut the list from the beginning and only invite 100 people?   There are a coupe of people who have kids ranging from all ages.  His cousin, for example, has 6 kids from 4-19.  Unfortunately we cannot invite them all.  Has anyone experienced this and how do you handle it?  I have a good friend who has 6 kids including her step children.  I have told her already that I wll be inviting her, her husband, and her 2 youngest children.  She is fine with that.  It's not that I'm being rude but just budget wise we have to stick to 100 or less. I also am in the process of deciding on our wedding party.  I want to officially send them an invite in the mail along with a small gift to ask them to be in the wedding party.  Can anyone offer suggestions of how to do this and / or what they've done for this?  I'd also like to do something for him to send to his groomsmen / best man also.   We are looking at 4/20/13 and should be 100% decided on venue and have it booked by the 1st week of August.   Any ideas will be helpful and I am thankful that these boards are here!!!
  Posted by momoftwinboys09[/QUOTE]
  
  I think you should invite everyone on your list excluding children.  After everyone RSVP's you can go back and invite the children if you have more space.  I dont think its fare to invite some kids and not all.. If you cut out your cousin and friend who have 6 kids each that is 12 people you can cut off your list.  You can send invites to the other 108 and  hope 8 cant come. 
  
  Etsy has alot of cute ways to ask your friends to be apart of your wedding.  You can send some personalized nites or a photo albulm with pics of you in the past..

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• momoftwinboys09

  

  June 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_xp-charlotte-new-in-planning-stages-have-many-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:115Discussion:4b8d5603-42a8-4549-ac73-c667e8ec889ePost:5a0bce02-d74d-44ad-92e7-06d85e1d507a">Re: XP: Charlotte new in planning stages & Have many questions</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to XP: Charlotte new in planning stages & Have many questions : I think you should invite everyone on your list excluding children.  After everyone RSVP's you can go back and invite the children if you have more space.  I dont think its fare to invite some kids and not all.. If you cut out your cousin and friend who have 6 kids each that is 12 people you can cut off your list.  You can send invites to the other 108 and  hope 8 cant come.  Etsy has alot of cute ways to ask your friends to be apart of your wedding.  You can send some personalized nites or a photo albulm with pics of you in the past..
  Posted by shaygray7[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>
  </div><div>Thanks for your fast response!  I have thought about no kids except about 25% of the guest list is children.  Including my own 3 so I think we are going to look at the guest list again and have to cut it down some.  Gosh this is hard and I've not yet begun!! LOL.  I'm liking the 'hope they can't come' but with my luck they will all RSVP LOL.</div>

  

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• NcsuPsych member

  

  June 2012

  First, congrats on your engagement and welcome to the boards! There is a lot to be learned here on TK as well as friendships to be made )
  
  As far as your questions go, please do NOT do a A&B list. It's extremely poor ettiquette and guests will find out and when they do, they'll be hurt. Simply cut down your list before you send anything like STDs or Invites out. If you're having trouble cutting down the list, simply ask yourself this question "will we still be friends / in touch with these people 5-10 years down the road?". If yes, keep them, if no, I'd rethink inviting them.
  
  Also, IMO, inviting some kids and not the others is rude, if you're allowing children at the wedding. Your friend may be ok with it, but that's just my opinion.
  
  You should also expect that everyone you invite, will show up, so don't over invite. Always prepare for them all until your rsvp date.
  
  
  
  As far as how to ask your wedding party, I would probably wait until your about 6-8 months out from your wedding date. Many relationships change, just a thought. When I asked my girls, I simple treated them to dinner individually and asked them. I'd probably also let your FI ask his guys the way he wants to ask them. As a PP said, etsy has a LOT of cute wedding related items, so maybe surf around on there for some ideas.
  
  
  Again, welcome to the boards and feel free to ask any questions you may have! Also be sure to check out some of the international boards as they give a lot of great advice and input too )

  

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• toni1835

  

  June 2012

  Hi,
  
  We just got engaged too and are in Charlotte.  We are trying to decide if we are going to do the wedding here in our backyard or some other venue or down in the lowcountry of SC.  We have looked at a few venues around Charlotte but we are only planning on 50 guests or so.  The Pavilion at Freedom Park was very affordable but might not be big enough for you.  Another great venue was Roof with A View which is good if you want a city wedding with a great skyline.  How ever it will probably bust your budget just to rent the space.
  
  Good luck with your planning.
  
  Courtney

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• momoftwinboys09

  

  June 2012

  Thanks again.  I think the list A and B is a little weird and not fair yes.  And to be honest, I've never heard about it until reading it on these boards.  I guess you are right just have to cut the list.  And I should be clear, I would love to invite all 130 people, it's just not in the budget unfortunately.  Hoping for a lot more help from these  boards over the next year!

  

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• NcsuPsych member

  

  June 2012

  Oh trust me, I understand having to cut the list due to budget restraints. We too were on a tight budget when we got married. I had to ask that same question as I stated above. It's proven to have worked out well because those who came to the wedding, are those I'm still very close with.
  
  I hope you have a very fun and pleasant planning experience!

  

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• wattynewsome member

  

  June 2012

  Think you should try Nevaeh Estates on the Lake,,very nice place and will not bust your budget for a private place to hold your wedding...give them a call 704-784-9333 talk to Angela she will take good care of you....Good Luck

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• Demedoll member

  

  June 2012

  Congratulations!
  
  You might want to consider doing family only in your bridal party. I cannot tell you how many of my friends and family members have people in their bridal photos that that either cant stand or just don't talk to anymore. Based on that I opted to have siblings and cousins only in our bridal party. We took some out to dinner but some live out of state so we asked over the phone. If you are set on having friends in your bridal party, spend a good amount of time giving an honest look at those relationships and how healthy they are and how new they are. If you have known th eperson your entire life it is a safer bet than someone you have only known a year or two. Also, you might want to be mindful of people's financial situations if you know what they are. I didnt ask one of my cousins to be in the bridal party because her husband was unemployed and I knew if I offered to pay for her outfit and travel she would have been embarrassed.
  
  As for the guest list- we went with immediate family and first cousins only and no children. That helped reduce the guest list quite a bit. Plus do you really want to pay for a plate of expensive food for a child that probably will not want to eat it? We also each invited our best friend.
  
  If you are having your wedding in the same city that the majority of the guest list lives in you should avoid over inviting because it is likely most if not all will attend. Don't invite "friends" that you basically only keep up with on facebook or only see once or twice a year if you are tight on numbers. Definitely dont invite anyone you havent hung out with in the past year. You can go ahead an eliminate everyone you work with if you put any of them on your list. Typically work friends understand the hierarchy of wedding invitations and family and close friends come before work friends. 
  
  One thing to watch out for too in booking outdoor events like parks- you might spend a pretty penny renting tables, chairs and tents if the park you pick allows them. Also, what is your back up plan for rain? Having a plan B can cost money as well. 
  
  You might want to consider doing some things DIY but with children that can be tough. Check out groupons for vistaprint, or you can swap on the coupon codes (thenest) and swap spot (thebump) boards for shutterfly codes if you decide to use that site. 
  
  Doing a STD electronically saves a lot of money, we used the free theknot.com ones. We also only provided RSVP cards to people we knew didn't use the internet frequently. Everyone else responded on our knot.com wedding webpage. If you decide to use vistaprint, open multiple email accounts and multiple vistaprint accounts. for some reason they do not send the same offers to everyone so one email might get an offer for 10 free invitations and the nest gets an offer for 50% off. 
  
  Avoid odd shaped invitations like 5x5 which cost extra postage. If you want to do magnet STDs, buy the business card magnet packs and do it yourself, it is MUCH cheaper than any website I found. 
  
  If you do favors at all, food favors can tend to be less expensive like nonpersonalized M&Ms in tins or having a popcorn buffet rather than a candy buffet. 
  
  Plenty of people on this site's wedding classified and thenest Trash to Treasure board sell their dresses for cheap. You might also find something on CL. I wouldn't go for an expensive dress if you are getting married outdoors because it will likely be ruined or at the least get grass stains on the bottom. 
  
   
  Good luck!

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• thebasketweaver member

  

  June 2012

  Im getting married 2/16/2013 and also am on a budget of 5k. Im having my reception at Clanton park which will accomadate 100 people and also have a play area less than 5ft away. As for children at the wedding only invite immediate family and very close friends. If possible invite friends and family that is guaranteed to show up. I would also like to add my wedding is DIY so if you or any of the Charlotte brides would like to get together and meet for ideas I would be more than happy to start a new friendship.

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• momoftwinboys09

  

  July 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_xp-charlotte-new-in-planning-stages-have-many-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:115Discussion:4b8d5603-42a8-4549-ac73-c667e8ec889ePost:b2d952a6-72c7-48e4-8214-a272e54ccefb">Re: XP: Charlotte new in planning stages & Have many questions</a>:
  [QUOTE]Im getting married 2/16/2013 and also am on a budget of 5k. Im having my reception at Clanton park which will accomadate 100 people and also have a play area less than 5ft away. As for children at the wedding only invite immediate family and very close friends. If possible invite friends and family that is guaranteed to show up. I would also like to add my wedding is DIY so if you or any of the Charlotte brides would like to get together and meet for ideas I would be more than happy to start a new friendship.
  Posted by thebasketweaver[/QUOTE]<div>
  </div><div>I didn't know anything about Clanton Park.  We are chosing between William R Davie park or Francis Beatty.  Have to go check them out again then will be ready to book venue by the 1st of August.  Hope my date is still available that day!!  Total guest list now is around 120 but we are hoping to have it @ 100 before sending STD.  Budget wise the extra 20 we really need to cut!   </div><div>What DIY stuff r you doing?  Not too sure here...think we've agreed on colors...Navy and lime green.  
  
  </div>

  

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• FirstLady878 member

  

  July 2012 edited July 2012

  Hello! First, congrats on the engagement!!
  
  I am in the same boat that you are in and I am looking at a few of the parks that Mecklenburg County has to offer as well. We also have similar budgets. So happy I came on this board today! (BTW, I sent you a PM)
  
  Anyway, I have been told by MANY people the fastest way to cut down costs is to cut down the guest list. We are keeping ours at less than 80. You meet so many people through the years and you want to invite them to your special day but everyone just cannot make it. We had a larger guest list and chose to have our wedding in Charlotte which is hours away from our families hoping it would keep some people from coming but we are finding that is NOT the case. Invite the number of people you can afford to invite. If that is 100, then 100 it is. I think you should expect everyone to show up, some people look at weddings as a family reunion. We too, have a large number of children in our families and children are a fast way to eat through your budget! Only invite VERY close relatives and skip out on those that you aren't fairly close with. We are having immediate family and our aunts and uncles. No cousins or cousins of cousins. In other words, if you are not someone that we speak with or see on a weekly basis. You are not invited. There are no hard feelings, it's just the way it is. I would say in order to save yourself some headaches, cut the guest list now.
  
  Personally, I would not invite 2 of 6 children. In that case, invite them all or invite none IMO. Have you considered an adults only wedding/reception? I had never heard of it before I joined wedding boards but it seems to be popular. (Of course, this would exclude your own children.)
  
  My wedding is in May of 2013. I asked my bridesmaids last week. I know people say things change, relationships change, which is true but I asked family and my best friend of many years. Financial situations change as well and wedding costs can add up quickly. I wanted to make my party aware ASAP so that they could save up if needed and it worked out well. I "proposed" to my bridesmaids. It's not for everybody but I thought it was cute and luckily, they did too. I got small boxes from Michaels and spray painted them in our wedding colors. I got ring pops and placed them in the boxes. When the box was opened, there was an accordian effect asking each one to in the wedding with me. I placed these in a storage box (also from Michaels) with pictures of us together, a newsletter, and a cake pop. You know your bridesmaids and you know what they would appreciate. Some would just be happy to be in the wedding period. Happy Planning!!
  

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