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September 2013 Weddings

Am I the only one who thinks this was rude?

So about a week ago I basically organized all of our guest list into a seating chart, just to have it slightly grouped how I might want it and hopefully it'll be easier when the time comes to just remove everyone who isn't coming and condense some tables. My mom was asking about the wedding plans and I mentioned that so she asked who I was putting at her table. Of course she was complaining about it and telling me to move 2 people from the table. Now, I put thought into the arrangement and I considered who would get along well and who I thought people would like to be with so it upset me that she was so unhappy with it. I told her she could pick one person she wanted me to move the most and I would, but that ultimately it was going to be my seating chart and she wasn't necessarily going to be able to pick her table.

Then yesterday my mom tells me that one of my aunts told her she hoped I wasn't planning on sitting her with certain family members she doesn't get along with which I wasn't. My mom told me that she told my aunt not to worry about it because I was going to put her with my mom and my uncle, which is not true at all. When I told my mom that wasn't true, she got all mad at me and said I told her I was getting rid of the people she didn't want and putting those people in but that's definitely not what happened at all. Then when I got mad and told her I thought it was rude that everyone is trying to control what's going on at my wedding, that I'm paying for, and that people should just sit where their seated and not stress me out about it, she told me I was a bridezilla. Am I really that wrong for thinking my aunt was rude for saying any of that? Feel free to talk me down if I'm getting crazy already lol.

Ugh, wedding drama [

Re: Am I the only one who thinks this was rude?

  • Her calling you a bridezilla was rude.

    According to what I have read: the people that pay make the rules. So since you're paying it's your house rules.

    Perhaps they don't realize your stress/anxiety level, and how moving 2 people can be stressful... in their minds it's probably like why can't she just move those 2 people away and move these two people here. 

    Since your seating chart isn't finalized, just take their comments under advisement and consider what they say when you do finalize the seating arrangment. If your original seating arrangement is the most logical placement for you, then that's the seating arrangment. If they aren't happy at the wedding, they can always change seats. 
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  • Honesty ? I don't see what the big deal is. Is it really going to ruin everything if you let your mom have a say in who sits at her table? Why can't you swap out people she doesn't want for people she does? Maybe I'm just too easy going but I don't understand coming down so hard on something so small.
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  • From everything I've heard, seating charts are the most stressful part of weddings.  So to save myself that ordeal, I'm having open seating with reserved tables for immediate family. 

    As for your dilemma, it's a long way off.  I think you should step back and let it go for awhile.  If family brings it up again, say you're not thinking that far yet ahead yet but you would take their desires under advisement. 
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  • It seems like, if your family is going to make a big deal about things they really shouldn't have any control over, just keep it under wraps until the wedding. Give minimal details about the stuff you are working on, and if people press, just tell them, "It's a surprise!" Then, if they dare to complain to you on your wedding day, say "It's my wedding, I don't have time for this" and walk away.

    People get so worked up over seating (not just your family, Wes, lots of people!). It's just for dinner, then you can get up and do whatever you want. Simmer down.
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  • edited October 2012
    Thanks ladies! I guess I just couldn't understand why she was making it such a big deal when it's nothing final and it won't affect her until next year. I think my mom was just really making me crabby yesterday about the wedding planning in general. She was just telling me it was stupid to send STD's, have an inner and outer envelope for invites, all kinds of stuff like that. I love that she wants to help out and offer her input, but sometimes she doesn't understand that ultimately it's my wedding and I'm paying for it so my decisions final. I guess I just haven't found a polite way to say that to her yet.
  • Yeah I think it's a little premature for her to be worrying about exactly who is and isn't at her table.  You don't even know if any of the people involved are going to be RSVPing yes yet! 
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