Charity Favors

CynthiaJH · July 2010

It is upsetting me that my finace' will not allow me to give out breast cancer favors...well he will but he says we have to give out something else as well-as if people will judge us by what we hand out at the wedding. Do people really care about the favor? I thought since he and I both have breast cancer in our family history it would be perfect...what's his deal???? I don't want to spend a lot on favors...and trying to give out multiple things seems like a waste if we can give out 1 things that means a lot. I am so mad. Grr.
Tell me about your charity favor experience if you have one. Thanks!

PenelopeSnuz · July 2010

By charity favors do you mean: In lieu of favors we have donated to XXX foundation?

Ask the ladies on ettiquette. They will say NO.

aimers1525 · July 2010

Do you mean you want to, in lieu of favors, make a donation to a group/organization/charity that raises money for breast cancer research?

If so, you will definitely receive a lot of opinions on this. When I first went to a wedding where the couple did this, it was a donation to the Red Cross for Hurricane Katrina relief and I thought it was a cool idea. I've been to a few that have made donations to other things as well and began brainstorming which cause I would donate to for my wedding. Then I found TK, and read how it's "poor" etiquette to make a donation in your guests' honor to XYZ charity. The thought is that your guests may not support XYZ charity that you pick and it would be rude to make a donation in their name or something like that.

CynthiaJH · July 2010

Well a donation was my first thing and then I thought about giving breast cancer themed gifts instead. Would the gifts be better?

PenelopeSnuz · July 2010

How would they be breast cancer themed?

Is there a favor you could incorporate where the proceeds (or a % of the proceeds) go to breast cancer?

Have a "breast cancer theme" at your wedding seems sort of morbid to me.

CynthiaJH · July 2010

No...the wedding is a normal celbration of food, dancing, drinking and such. the wedding colors are green and purple-not pink.

I just thought about giving out the donation cards or pink ribbon luggage tags as favors...or pink ribbon photo coasters as a favor. thats basically where the pink side of it ends.

TatiMarie · July 2010

Maybe you could do a cookie in the shape of a pink ribbon that has a little note saying money has been donated?

Like the girls above mentioned, if you look for charity donation favors on the Etiquette board, they will tell you it's not a good idea and that some people do take offense.

PenelopeSnuz · July 2010

I think the luggage tags sound like a good idea, and gives your guests something to take away that also supports a cause you believe in.

CynthiaJH · July 2010

You know you read about charity donations and favors all the time but I think I can tell a lot of brides are not that comfortable with it and my fiance' may be on the right track with giving out a more traditional favor.

nikikarabetsos · July 2010

I know everyone says its not good "etiquette" to do the charity favors, but honestly, in my opinion most favors never get used, I end up tossing most of mine! I'd actually appreciate knowing that instead of the gift a few dollars went to a charity that they supported.

I think donating to a charity and giving everyone a message explaining why is a nice idea, but I can't say how your guests might react

I'd hope they'd think it was a heartfelt gesture, but who knows

mandybear7 · July 2010

It's not just that people may disagree with the charity; I mean, who is pro-breast cancer? But, a favor is something you give your guests. By donating in leiu of favors (meaning, giving a card to each guest saying this), you're not really giving a guest anything and technically, the donation is not even being done in their name.

If you just want to make a donation to the charity, great, but just make one small sign for it, not at every place setting.

I really don't care if weddings have favors and they certainly aren't necessary. Edible favors usually go over well.

Research those luggage tags really well though- I have read quite a few news stories revealing information about those "pink" items where only a very small percentage goes towards the foundation.

kmrazek · July 2010

Seriously, who would take offense to having money donated for Breast Cancer Research? It's not like you're donating to some poitically polarizing cause like the Church of Scientology or PETA!

Most of the time the favors I get aren't anything I'm super excited about (a crappy frame, a single coaster, a small box of coffee beans when I don't drink coffee), so I would not be offended AT ALL if someone donated money to a charity they liked instead.

We're doing printed M&M's as favors, which cost a lot of money, but it's one thing the fiance had an opinion about, and I wasn't going to crush his wedding planning zeal!!! Otherwise, I had considered the charity favor also.

sjf14 · July 2010

I follow this board all the time but this is my first time posting!

I am having a similiar dilema as you. I don't want to do traditional favors because I feel that they are a waste of money and no one really cares. I have been to a few weddings that have done donations and I really liked that idea. Even if it wasn't a charity I would necessarily give my money to, I was happy that the money went to something that the couple really believed in. Everyone is going to have an opinion good or bad on this idea, but at the end of the day if a friend is truly upset you donated to a cause that you believe strongly in instead of giving him/her a $3 trinket, do you really care?!?!

We are going to give a donation instead of a favor, I am just trying to decide if I put a note on the table saying we donated to our cause or just doing it and not saying anything at all.

ZenInMotion · July 2010

We are purchasing products from local social enterprises that are charities and by buying their product and giving them out as favors we are supporting local nonprofits. Many nonprofits have social enterprises to assist low-income women and men in Chicago. We are purchasing soap from The Enterprising Kitchen. Thay way people get something that is charity focussed, but there name is never used or affiliated with the charity.

LexiMS · July 2010

Another idea to support Breast Cancer research is to add it to your registry, a lot of charities allow you to set it up so people can donate to you as a gift. Whenever couples have this up FI and I make a small donation as well as give a gift.

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