Still Struggling w/ RSVP Wording

aloisk57 · April 2012

So I've posted a few times about my invitations and I'm still overwhelmed.
We are having a choice of 3 entrees, and we are only inviting people over the age of 15 (NOT putting that in the invite, just stating it here as a fact).

On my RSVP card, I figured the easiest thing would be to put M________ Accepts/Regrets and then a place for them to indicate their meal of choice, and I will write their names in the space so they don't decide to swap a kid in for an adult.

However, some people have 5 people in the family and some only have 2. When I print my invites, do I print them all with 5 lines? Do I print some with 5 and some with 2?

Do I put the meal options on the RSVP card or do I put them on an enclosure and just have B/C/F (Beef, chicken, fish) on the RSVP card for them to circle one? I just feel like the RSVPs are going to be REALLY crowded.

We need each person to indicate their own meal because their place cards will correspond with that meal. I don't just want to get "1 chicken 1 beef" and then have to figure out who got what. I feel like that will be confusing and annoying at the wedding.

Thanks in advance! I can't wait to get these out of the way!

pgcp · April 2012

If you are only inviting adults then there shouldn't be more than two people on a card since every adult or couple gets their own invitation. That should solve your problem.

HockeyFan4 · April 2012

If it is adult only, each rsvp should be for only two people. Because anyone who is over 18 should get their own invite, even if they live at the same address.

This should placate some of your stress!

Good luck!

AdeleDazeem · April 2012

I'm guessing that you might have five people on an RSVP because some are adult children? Those people get their own invitation - problem solved!

JordynLeighx3 · April 2012

You could always put down M______ accepts/ regrets like you had said. But then for the meal choice write out the meals ex: Indicate which meal you prefer using initials: _____chicken and dumplings _____beef stew _____fish and chips I've seen it done that way plenty of times and it didn't look over crowded

aloisk57 · April 2012

Well I'm sorry I didn't specify, we are inviting people 15 years old and older, so there are some people with 2-3 of those ages (under 18) in their household. I consider it adults only bc there are no little kids. Any suggestions for that?

katehar01 · April 2012

I think the initials thing is a good idea. If you don't do that, I really don't know how you would work it without it being crowded.

ETA: and as for your 5 vs 2 question, this is why I ultimately decided not to write in names. It was just too much hassle to me, and I'm only inviting 110 people, so if I have to call a few families, NBD. I'm also inviting kids, so you have to decide based on your guest list size and their likelihood to try to add on extra guests.

pgcp · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_still-struggling-w-rsvp-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:668e9ad0-b616-4138-bae6-678248e81e7dPost:8e1b14bd-4877-459b-97dd-fb455d38a4e8">Re: Still Struggling w/ RSVP Wording</a>:
[QUOTE]Well I'm sorry I didn't specify, we are inviting people 15 years old and older, so there are some people with 2-3 of those ages (under 18) in their household. I consider it adults only bc there are no little kids. Any suggestions for that?
Posted by aloisk57[/QUOTE]
I'm not sure why you are getting snotty, people can only respond to the information you give them.

You could print out two styles of cards, one for singles/couples and one for families if you would like. You could also send an invitation to each of the older teens as well and allow them to respond for themselves. No teenager will be offended by being treated like an adult.

AdeleDazeem · April 2012

In that case, I would put on each card the standard M__________, accepts/declines and list the meal choices.

I would then write underneath: "Please indicate the meal choice for each person next to their name" or something to that effect.

libby2483 · April 2012

This is what we did, as our venue also needs to know each person's entree choice:

M_______________________________________________

_______ Accepts _______ Regrets

Please initial each guest’s entrée choice:

_______ Chicken _______ Beef

_______ Vegetarian

It might get a little crowed with families of five trying to squeeze in initials, but I think people will figure it out.

Make sure you address the invite only with the names of those it is intended for. If a guest does substitute a small child, just call that guest and politely inform him or her that you are sorry, but you are not having small children at the wedding. The only time I can see this getting a bit sticky is if there are families that have both children under 15 and over 15. I can see where it might be kind of hurtful if 14 year old Suzie can't come, but 16 year old Billy can. I'm not sure if any families you are inviting are in this situation, but just a head's up to be prepared for.

J&K10910 · April 2012

We did a line where I wrote in names (and our awesome printer did separate cards, some with 2, 3, 4, and 5--enough for each plus a couple extras for each number just in case) and then underneath each line had the two meal choices with a line to check next to each.

Then at the bottom we put a line for people to alert us of special dietary needs.

Kate61487 · April 2012

I like the initial option - that way you can write out a slightly more detailed meal (i.e. chicken marsala instead of just chicken) without it getting crazy croweded.

If you really want to do a seperate line for each guest I's customize them to the family - if you invite two but have 3 blank lines they might think that's an invitation to add others.

[Deleted User] · April 2012

I went invitation shopping the other day, and they had these cute little pictures that represented chicken, beef, fish that you could use, that would allow you to have them put the number of each on the RSVP but not take up as much space since the icons were small

J&K10910 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_still-struggling-w-rsvp-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:668e9ad0-b616-4138-bae6-678248e81e7dPost:f00b2b3b-e8eb-426e-9538-557c6b667ee3">Re: Still Struggling w/ RSVP Wording</a>:
[QUOTE]An invitation is only to the persons to whom it is addressed. Don't include the names of children (or anyone else at that address who is not invited). If the person is so rude as to respond with "plus Little Damien" then you are entitled to call up the person and sweetly explain that you have a limited guest list, and can't accommmodate Little Damien. All adults get their own invitation, even if they live at the same address, unless they are a couple.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

Congratulations on regurgitating party lines that don't even come close to being an answer to a question that was asked.

marriedfilingjointly · April 2012

That was almost a Kristen numbers answer.

Still Struggling w/ RSVP Wording

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