Guests are cancelling left and right!

rmnescher · April 2012

I sent out STD's around Oct last year and mailed my formail invites right after the new year. I got some people saying right away that they would be here, had some not sure, and some decline right away. Over the last couple of months most of the people we invited said yes, but now, just 1 week to go, I am getting FB messages, texts, and phone calls from people saying they can't make it. It is strressing me out a litte because we already bought all the food, our friend is the caterer, and we bought all the table decorations, but now I am worried that hardly anyone will actually show up. I know I shouldn't borrow trouble but its on my mind, I want people to have a good time but if the room feels empty I am afraid it will be like one of those parties that flopped and people were bored.

I guess I just needed to say it, not much I can really do at this point.

cdbishop · April 2012

Wow, I understand maybe a person or two backing out, but it appears that you have more than that. It is hard because some people don't understand the planning that goes into this and the headcount, especially since you already ordered the food.

No matter what you will have a great time at your wedding and you make it what you want. If you have the music going and people can dance, no one will be bored.

rlavach · April 2012

Ditto to PP. But how many people are we talking about here? Like 1 table, or 4 tables? I’d find out from them if they are 100% absolutely not coming. If so, then rearrange tables and perhaps combine centerpieces so that they are larger on the tables & eliminate the excess tables. At this point, I’m sure the caterer hasn’t already started cooking, but you probably have already paid your balance for your minimum. Let them know that you will have less than the minimum and see what they can throw in as an upgrade since you won’t need as much food but already paid? I’m sure they’ll be able to work with you. It will work out!

futuremrsdavies · April 2012

I understand completely. When I sent out STD almost everyone said they were coming. I too had a few that were maybes. I made a minimum guarantee to my venue (caterer) for 150 people to have a sat night wedding. I only invited 175 people (what I could afford) based on the number of people confirming they were coming. All of a sudden, invites went out and an absurd number of people backed out. I realize that unlike you, this is my fault for listening to STD responses BUT its mostly my fiance's family that is backing out because apparently 2 hours is too far to travel for them. They made comments like "well why isn't her family going since its where she lives?" though this actually isn't true. 1) I have a name. 2) while it is closer to my family (45 minutes v 2 hours) my family still must travel and encompassed 100 of the 175 we invited. 3) My family is coming (well all but 2 aunts) and are all getting hotels anyway.

Sorry clearly I am a little angry with his family right now. Point is, here i am 12 days before the wedding verbally inviting people because I have to pay for 150 and there is no sense in paying for people and not having people eat the food (I should mention that I can't take anything home with me)

em01092 · April 2012

Ditto PPs.You're going to have a blast. I mean, I think you sent out invitations too early, because plans can obviously change in a matter of days or weeks, let alone that many months. Obviously that ship has sailed now, so just roll with it. People are missing out, but there is nada you can do.

oldbride56 · April 2012

There is a certain amount of etiquette that people are obviously missing! It's not like it's just a night out with your buds!

You'll have a great time, no matter how many show up -- your happiness will well overcome any "missing in action" folks and the ones that are there will be happy to join in the fun.

rmnescher · April 2012

Thank you everyone! I just got another card in the mail with an apology for not coming, this one from my Grandma. I know it will be great, and I only have 4 days to go. Thank you for your feedback.

Guests are cancelling left and right!

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