Praying to Mary

chelseamb11 · July 2011

So I tried to research this a bit, but apparently Google doesn't want to answer my question. My fiance and I got into a discussion this weekend about whether or not we want to pray to Mary during our wedding. Our biggest curiosity is the reasoning behind it. Did any of you decide to do it? Why or why not?
Any input is greatly appreciated!

Riss91 · July 2011

You may have more luck if you search "devotion to mary".

We did this at our wedding. We presented a bouquet of flowers (some people actually crown her if they can reasonably reach her head) and we prayed. The purpose is to ask for Mary's intercession in your new family - Mary is the ultimate spouse and mother. Her purity and absolute love is something we should strive for as is the model of the Holy Family.

kathleenkmm · July 2011

I think I may do it before the ceremony. My FI isn't Catholic and I think it would weird him out.

blush64 · July 2011

I've never heard it put as "praying to Mary" except by those who aren't Catholic. We (as in me and my family) don't really look at it like that because we pray to God, we don't consider it the same.

I think it can be a nice thing if it's meaningful to you and your fiance.

I would say that if you don't know the reasoning behind it it's not something you need to do. If it's something that would mean a lot then maybe do it before the cermony like PP said they did. If it's not something you feel strongly about then don't worry about it.

I hope you find some good information to make your decision.

HandBanana · July 2011

I asked for guidance and strength and for our union to be fruitful. As Riss said, Mary is the ideal that we strive for.

monkeysip · July 2011

@ Blush

It's still called "praying to Mary" because "pray" doesn't have to mean "worship" or "adore". To pray just means to ask, so we can pray to Mary or the saints, as we ask them to intercede for us.

chelseamb11 · July 2011

After looking more into it, I definitely want to do it. I agree with the whole idea of Mary being that perfect spouse and mother, and it is defnitely something I'd love to strive to be!

blush64 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_praying-mary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:70e5f56b-a7e2-4518-adb0-3ce698b0f45aPost:b9886f20-79ed-42f6-9198-e5deb13e1380">Re: Praying to Mary</a>:
[QUOTE]@ Blush It's still called "praying to Mary" because "pray" doesn't have to mean "worship" or "adore". To pray just means to ask, so we can pray to Mary or the saints, as we ask them to intercede for us.
Posted by monkeysip[/QUOTE]

I'm not saying anyone shouldn't. I am saying we don't. Nothing wrong either way, at no point in my life throughtout Catholic school since I was 3 did I hear that term used. I now have teenagers and at no point through their schooling did they use that term. It was just worded differently.

I was just stating it was different to me. No harm meant to you if you feel strongly about using those terms.

So, maybe lots of people use that term but some don't. I don't and it wasn't meant as anything other than a passing comment because I have many friends who aren't Catholic and they do use those terms.

In my answer I mentioned that because I hadn't heard it except from people I know who don't believe in the religion. I did give my opinion on the issue as well.

I just wanted to make that clear because it was just a difference I noticed, doens't mean anything. I actually find it interesting when people of the same faith have slightly different ways of saying or doing things.

savvy_savs · July 2011

This is such a beautiful and unique part of our Catholic faith. My cousin got married this past February and in addition to his wife praying at Mary's feet, he escorted her and then walked over to the statue of Joseph and prayed to Joseph. I had never seen anythng like that before, but was blown away at the symbolism and meaning it had. If your FI is devout Catholic I think this would be a wonderful part to incorporate into your Mass.

chelseamb11 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_praying-mary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:70e5f56b-a7e2-4518-adb0-3ce698b0f45aPost:747ed24f-1ca2-45d3-b3a7-0d9ac617b15d">Re: Praying to Mary</a>:
[QUOTE]This is such a beautiful and unique part of our Catholic faith. <strong>My cousin got married this past February and in addition to his wife praying at Mary's feet, he escorted her and then walked</strong> <strong>over to the statue of Joseph and prayed to Joseph. I had never seen anythng like that before, but was blown away at the symbolism and meaning it had.</strong> If your FI is devout Catholic I think this would be a wonderful part to incorporate into your Mass.
Posted by savvy_savs[/QUOTE]

That is freaking awesome

savvy_savs · July 2011

I thought so too!! The pictures were so beautiful and showed that it's not just brides who need a bit of extra help in marriage. I think it humbled the men in attendance.

Louisa1000 · July 2011

At first I wasn't keen on the idea--not because I'm theologically against it, but more because I'm a convert and I didn't want to make my very non-catholic family uncomfortable. But then I read up on the symbolism of it, and I'm sold. Particularly giving her your flowers. It's like you're giving up your virginity (giving your flowers away--get it?) for the vocation of marriage, while thanking Mary for the gift of her own virginity for the sake of the kingdom. I hadn't ever thought about it that way. I plan to give away my bouquet after mass, privately, instead of doing a bouquet toss at the reception.

Riss91 · July 2011

Louisa - good for you! I'm a huge supporter of incorporating elemnts into your ceremony that have meaning to you - regardless of who is sitting in the pews!

monkeysip · July 2011

@ Blush

I just saw your reply and wanted to clarify that I didn't think you were saying that praying to Mary was bad or calling it "pray" was bad. I understand what you meant. It doesn't matter what we call it, I think we're both on the same page here. I was just trying to say that some people view the term "pray" for Mary as bad (like protestants) because they view "pray" as a worshipping thing. And worship is only for God. I was just pointing out that I usually tell people like this that "pray" doesn't have to mean worship, just asking. But you don't have to call it "praying to Mary" or anything.

I think we're in agreement here and hope you didn't take my post as attacking you for any reason.

lalaith50 · July 2011

good question! I'm wondering a similar thing, specifically about the physical flowers.

The practical side of me sees the little boquets of flowers that are put in front of Mary wilting and dying after weddings, and I just think that's kind of silly. Why does she care if we give her flowers that are just going to die?

I'm kind of leaning towards just going in front of her statute and asking her intercession after communion (without any flowers). Also one less "item" to worry about on the day of the wedding! (But I'm open to thoughts on why flowers are better!)

agapecarrie · July 2011

I think there the flower thing is tradition (in general, not just weddings). Crowning Mary with a crown of flowers goes way back. Placing a flower, or bouquet at her feet is an "offering". Kind of like lighting a candle. It adds to the beauty, just like we decorate the church in flowers for Easter, etc.

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