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proposal

jessckajesscka member
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in Not Engaged Yet
has any women tried to propose? well.......i have

it was on christmas eve night when we were alone i had made a box with snowflakes and glitter, nothing too femine just simple. inside was a 4 page letter i wrote to  him, of how much he ment to me and im thankful for him, everything my heart couls gush out. i gave him time to read this at the end, i told him i feel like this is the next step, on the inside of the lid was a ring i got engraved "love is ours 11-16-06 at the end of the letter i wrote will you marry me?

he was silent for a bit and said, honey you know i love you, i will gladly accept but you know, its my role to ask, its tradition and i want to. so being understanding he wears the ring as a promise ring.........and im still waiting its been about a year since then.

well.....why hasnt he proposed?  im at this urge where im going to explode any other stories or advice?
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Re: proposal

  • NarwhalNarwhal
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Maybe he's trying to surprise you, or maybe he really wasn't ready and used the tradition thing as a cop out.  Either way, you should talk to him about it to make sure y'all are on the same page.

    I proposed to my boyfriend a couple times, but he just laughed and rolled over.  I was mostly joking, it wasn't really anything like you did.  I know that it is important to him that he asks me.
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Well I don't know for sure but this is my guess. He said yes when you proposed because he does want to marry you, he hasn't proposed himself because he isn't ready to yet. It makes me wonder how much you have talked about marriage if you didn't even know that he wanted to be the one to propose though.

    My advice is to just be patient.


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  • KD+BCKD+BC
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Beth. He probably just isn't ready. Did you ask this past Christmas Eve? If so, it's only been 6 months. Give him some time before you start freaking out. Maybe he's saving for a ring? In any case, definitely talk timelines with him.

    To answer your initial question, my uncle's gf proposed this past April and they are getting married next year. Sometimes it works out great and sometimes the guy just feels like he is the one who should ask.
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  • desertsundesertsun member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    How old are you? Because your glitter box, in addition to picking out a date on your own and writing a letter instead of talking to him about how you feel all gives the impression that you're on the young (dare I say BSC?) side.

    Personally, I would be totally creeped out if my FI had given me a glitter box and picked out a date without ever discussing it with me.

    Just me, though. Maybe your BF has a less sensitive creepy meter than I do. 
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  • loopy82loopy82 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Desert - since the date is 06 I think that 11-16-06 is when they started dating.
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  • desertsundesertsun member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Good call, loopy! That is a definite reading comprehension FAIL on my part.

    Jesscka -- sincere apologies. You are less creepy than I originally thought.

    I really should not read before eating breakfast. Low blood sugar makes me dumb and cranky. :)

    I would still like to know how old you are and how long you've been together, though.
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  • loopy82loopy82 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It's alright Desert. I'm pretty good at misreading things. I can't tell you how many of the Thursday and Friday questions I have answered and had to go back and change my answer because I later realized I read the question completely wrong.
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  • noelle24noelle24
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The only person who call tell you why he hasn't proposed yet is your BF.  You need to talk to him about where he sees the relationship going, and what his timelines are for marriage and all that jazz.  Getting antsy and pressuring him to propose will probably backfire.  In fact, I'd have to say my guess is that your proposal to him was off-putting for him and may have delayed him a bit. 

    But seriously, talk to your BF about marriage and when both of you see yourselves getting married.  You could be shocked about the different timelines, but then at least the two of you can find a compromise and get on the same page.  Then, you need to learn some patience!

    Edit: This conversation should not involve the words "Why haven't you proposed yet?!?!"  That is accusatory and would put him on defensive immediately. 
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  • paintgirlpaintgirl member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Unless you celebrate Christmas at a different time than the rest of the planet, it has either been 5 1/2 months or over a year. So if it's been 5 1/2 months, I say patience, grasshopper.
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  • **Mutley****Mutley**
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://sitelife.theknot.com/ver1.0/Forums/%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:6b4aa1ba-f2dc-469e-9e21-ac165e1aaa7cPost:27f2fe68-8d2b-46af-9acd-d06c28756bec">proposal</a>:
    [QUOTE]has any women tried to propose? well.......i have it was on christmas eve night when we were alone i had made a box with snowflakes and glitter, nothing too femine just simple. inside was a 4 page letter i wrote to  him, of how much he ment to me and im thankful for him, everything my heart couls gush out. i gave him time to read this at the end, i told him i feel like this is the next step, on the inside of the lid was a ring i got engraved "love is ours 11-16-06 at the end of the letter i wrote will you marry me? he was silent for a bit and said, honey you know i love you, i will gladly accept but you know, its my role to ask, its tradition and i want to. so being understanding he wears the ring as a promise ring.........and im still waiting its been about a year since then. well.....why hasnt he proposed?  im at this urge where im going to explode any other stories or advice?
    Posted by jesscka[/QUOTE]
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  • raw1299raw1299 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    it all depends on the situation, he could be waiting to have money saved up, or possibly waiting for the right time. if you guys are young, maybe he doesnt want to get married that young. you just really need to muster up some courage and talk to him. if hes going to be your husband, you need to communicate. be sincere, and ask him if he really wants to marry you. just talk. youve been with him about the same time i've been with my bf (our anniversary is 11-11-06). if he's sincere and says yes, be comfortable talking about it. talk more about the future (where you'll live, kids?, money situtation, wedding ideas) is always a good thing. if he doesnt want to talk about it, then maybe you shouldnt be wasting anymore of your time.
    Married 10/09/11
    Miss Claire born 5/29/13
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