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MOH dress issues

slpankuchslpankuch member
Third Anniversary 100 Comments
in Moms and Maids

So several months ago, my MOH and I ordered her dress online from JCPenney. My BMs are wearing black dresses (any style of their choice) and then I am adding red sashes and shoes to their dress.

 

Anyway, my MOH (months after getting it in the mail) tells me she does not like the dress yesterday. Which a month ago, she loved the dress and it fits perfectly. First of all let me just say I paid for the dress at this time because she needs to wait until income tax time to pay me back which was fine. Now she is telling me she wants to return it. I went to JCPenney, it’s past the time to return the dress. Since she tried it on and it fit perfectly we took off tags and threw away receipt.

 

Now she is super unhappy with the dress apparently. I asked her why she didn’t tell me this when I asked her if she liked it. She said she didn’t want to make it difficult for me by returning it. BUT it would’ve made it easier to tell me before I threw the receipt away (which she said it was safe to do). So returning it and getting my money back is not an option.

 

My MOH is my FI sister so he stepped in and told her it’s only one day so wear the dress. Now she is set on making the dress shorter by hemming it. She has always been one for really short skirts and dresses that don’t look good. I want my BMs to be classy and by hemming it, it will make it look slutty in my opinion (my FI & my mom said so as well).

 

I just don’t know what to do? Am I overreacting?

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Re: MOH dress issues

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    You're not overreacting. Your MOH is being a PITA.

    I love JCPenney. They have a very generous return policy. If you can't get $$ back for the dress, they may be willing to give you a store credit. If you ordered the dress online, there is a record of it. Go to jcpenney.com, click on 'track order' at the top of the page. Click on the blue 'access account' button. Sign into your account, click on 'view my past orders.' Click on the correct order and you should be able to print an invoice for the dress. My order history goes all the way back to Oct. 2008, so you should be able to find a dress that was bought months ago.Go to the store in person with your receipt and the dress. They will, most likely, take the dress back.

    Since you have paid for this dress, it should be given back to you in new (not hemmed) condition. Your MOH should be responsible for finding and paying for a new black dress, in the length that you have specified. If she can't find an appropriate dress in time for the wedding, then she will be removing herself from the wedding party.

    Good luck.





                       
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  • slpankuchslpankuch member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thank you so much for both your replies.  I did try in the store but I am sure I could've fought it, pulled the records online, etc.  At this point she is being such a PITA (nicely put above), that I don't want to go the extra mile to return it. YOu think she was a headache now because she wants to return it, itwas worse shopping with her! She wanted dresses that when she bent over I'd be afaid she would flash my very conservative grandparents! 
    I think my FI and his mother will be my best option to talk to her.
    Thanks for the confidence booster to stay no!

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited December 2011
    If she absolutely hates the dress and wants to get something different then tell her that she owes you the money for the dress that she hates and that it will be up to her to purchase the next dress.  If she didn't like it in the first place then she should have said something right away, so it is her fault for waiting until it was too late.

    But IMO, I think she just needs to suck it up and wear the dang dress.  It sounds like she is being a pain in the butt just to be a pain in the butt.  I would continue to let your FI handle her since it is his sister.

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  • saacjwsaacjw member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you're overreacting to be honest. It's typical for bridesmaids to have to make some concessions with their daily style preferences, and you've been very accommodating by letting them wear their own dress (and in a color that is easily reuseable too). I'd tell her to not hem it, or to only hem it a tiny bit, she can do what she wants after the wedding, because your FI is right, it's just one day. She needs to realize that for this, she should respect your choices, and honestly, from the sound of it, grow up a bit. If your FI is the one she'll listen to, see if he'll say something, if not, maybe her mom. As much as I hate this phrase, it is your wedding, and this is one of the few things that I find it 100% reasonable to put your foot down on. 

    Good luck! 
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  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I don't think that it is unreasonable for you to specify a length of dress. That is pretty standard as far as BM dresses are concerned. I would have FI continue in his stance that it is a dress she wears for one day for a few hours. While I would not do as pp suggested and use the "it's my wedding!" line (which will make you look like a zilla), I would tell her that it is important to you that the BMs have a certain length of dress to match the level of formality of your ceremony.

    One compromise might be for her to wear the specified dress during the ceremony and to give her the option of changing after dinner for the dance. That way you get the continuity for pics and she can feel comfortable in her clothes later. Just a thought.
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  • slpankuchslpankuch member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I actually didn't want to order it but she wanted to since she liked the dress online at JCP because we thought it would probably be discontinued. She was the one that wanted to order it.

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