Addressing invitations with "and family"

PeachesKFG · February 2012

If you address an invitation this way: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Family" ...is it safe to assume that Mr. and Mrs. Smith will understand that all of their children are invited? I don't want to confuse anyone. Addressing invitations is harder than I thought it would be!

We are inviting a lot of families, and I find it easier to write "and family" rather than write out each child's name (especially when there are 3 or 4 children in the family). Is this the right way to address our invitations to big families?

MoonlightSilver · February 2012

I would certainly think "and family" means all the kids.

I've never heard of a bride having guests assume less people were invited, ususally it's more.

estegeman · February 2012

I agree. I think "and family" would mean all of the children are invited. Go for it!

Jaridds68 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_addressing-invitations-with-and-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:ad010b66-d6b0-4bdb-a723-f3378014d2c6Post:01ecabfa-81ee-4db9-beb1-c99045db565b">Re: Addressing invitations with "and family"</a>:
[QUOTE]I would certainly think "and family" means all the kids. =) I've never heard of a bride having guests assume less people were invited, ususally it's more.
Posted by MoonlightSilver[/QUOTE]

<div>No, you have to write out all the invitee's names. I've only been on TK for a little while, and this question comes up about once a week on the etiquette board (hint: also lurk there!). You can ultimately do what you want, but some ppl have different ideas of 'family' than you do, so it's advised you do not write 'and family'. </div>

kls114 · February 2012

We just did "& family" with larger families for our invites. Obviously if there were adults 18+ included in that they got their own invite.

Here is a link from TK....

http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-invitations/articles/addressing-wedding-invitations.aspx

PeachesKFG · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_addressing-invitations-with-and-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:65Discussion:ad010b66-d6b0-4bdb-a723-f3378014d2c6Post:21815ae6-32e2-427e-947a-66b61b69e2be">Re: Addressing invitations with "and family"</a>:
[QUOTE]We just did "& family" with larger families for our invites. <strong>Obviously if there were adults 18+ included in that they got their own invite. </strong>Here is a link from TK.... <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-invitations/articles/addressing-wedding-invitations.aspx">http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-invitations/articles/addressing-wedding-invitations.aspx</a>
Posted by kls114[/QUOTE]

I see what you're saying - so if I am inviting people who have children over the age of 18, I should send a separate invitation for those who are over 18? Even though they are at the same address? I have no problem sending 2 invitations to the same address, just wondering what the "proper etiquette" is.

Thanks for the help everyone!

cdbishop · February 2012

If you are concerned with the etiquette and the people you are inviting would be petty about that, I would put all the names. Besides that, I think and family is fine. If I received that I would think that all of the children in the family are invited.

Jaridds68 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_addressing-invitations-with-and-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:ad010b66-d6b0-4bdb-a723-f3378014d2c6Post:4c957296-6ee6-490c-bbcb-3ac3b6ec44bc">Re: Addressing invitations with "and family"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Addressing invitations with "and family" : I see what you're saying -<strong> so if I am inviting people who have children over the age of 18, I should send a separate invitation for those who are over 18?</strong> Even though they are at the same address? I have no problem sending 2 invitations to the same address, just wondering what the "proper etiquette" is. Thanks for the help everyone!
Posted by kfesta[/QUOTE]

<div>Yup, that is the proper etiquette, even if they're still living at home. A lot of my cousins will be in college when FI and I get married - we will prob be mailing their invites to their parent's houses (well for the ones we know are not responsible enough to check their own mail).</div>

calindi · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_addressing-invitations-with-and-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:ad010b66-d6b0-4bdb-a723-f3378014d2c6Post:4c957296-6ee6-490c-bbcb-3ac3b6ec44bc">Re: Addressing invitations with "and family"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Addressing invitations with "and family" : I see what you're saying - so if I am inviting people who have children over the age of 18, I should send a separate invitation for those who are over 18? Even though they are at the same address? I have no problem sending 2 invitations to the same address, just wondering what the "proper etiquette" is. Thanks for the help everyone!
Posted by kfesta[/QUOTE]

Technically, yes. It's proper etiquette to send an invitation to everyone over the age of 18, even if they still live at home with their parents who you are inviting (or not). But I'm not doing that. I know it's breaking etiquette, but I just don't care. I know these people well, I know they won't take offense to it, and it's easier. They'd think it was weird to get different invitations if they live in the same house.

For people with kids, I'm doing it this way (because some people interpret "and family" to mean Grandma Dot and Aunt Rose, too, not just their kids!):

Mr. & Mrs. John Smith
Sarah, Jane, & Joseph
124 Main Street
Somewhere, NY

kls114 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_addressing-invitations-with-and-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:65Discussion:ad010b66-d6b0-4bdb-a723-f3378014d2c6Post:4c957296-6ee6-490c-bbcb-3ac3b6ec44bc">Re: Addressing invitations with "and family"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Addressing invitations with "and family" : I see what you're saying - so if I am inviting people who have children over the age of 18, I should send a separate invitation for those who are over 18? Even though they are at the same address? I have no problem sending 2 invitations to the same address, just wondering what the "proper etiquette" is. Thanks for the help everyone!
Posted by kfesta[/QUOTE]

Yes, I mean you can do whatever you want but if you want to follow "proper etiquette" then this would be the rule to follow.

We only had a handful of these. For example, a couple in their late 20's who were in a serious relationship got their own invite, the two other sisters who lived in that house got their invite together and then their parents got their own invite.

So again you can alter to it to however it fits in your friends/family but can still follow the over 18 rule. You know your guests and their situations the best!

Fun times right?!?! LOL

GL!

mrsjmwolfe · February 2012

My sister-in-law put and family but on the inside envelope put everyone's names. Not sure if you're doing two envelopes, but that's an option if you are.

PeachesKFG · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_addressing-invitations-with-and-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:65Discussion:ad010b66-d6b0-4bdb-a723-f3378014d2c6Post:549036a0-13fa-4220-bbdc-2576a8f2f49b">Re: Addressing invitations with "and family"</a>:
[QUOTE]My sister-in-law put and family but on the inside envelope put everyone's names. Not sure if you're doing two envelopes, but that's an option if you are. :)
Posted by mrsjmwolfe[/QUOTE]

This is one of the reasons that I wish I had 2 envelopes! But we only went with 1 envelope. I think I will go ahead and say "and family"....I'm confident that most of my relatives will understand what it means. I never thought that the proper way to address an invitation would keep me up at night! haha. These are problems that only other brides will understand!

mrsrutkowski · February 2012

Only thing I'd be careful of is if you do and family on the invite and there are "kids" in the family that have significant others. My cousin did and family on the invite even though we four "kids" are over 18. We assumed we could bring significant others (two of us had them at the time). We asked and she said yes. But we found out after the wedding that that wasn't her intention. Whoops!

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