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May 2013 Weddings
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Rehearsal Dinner

Annas2013Annas2013 member
1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
in May 2013 Weddings
So my FMIL and FFIL offered to pay for and host the rehearsal dinner.  Yeah, very nice.  We accepted.  They let us know today that they booked a place yesterday.  It's 45minutes from the ceremony venue.  And in the middle of the day.  On a Friday, which means people tend to have to work.  And they didn't check with our ceremony venue, so we now may have a huge break between the rehearsal "luncheon" as they're calling it and the actual rehearsal.

There's not much we can really do about it, so I'm just trying to not get frustrated.  I appreciate the effort I just wish they had talked to us first.
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner

  • sarahaleensarahaleen
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments
    Oh wow I would NOT be happy. What does your fi have to say about it?
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  • melb2013melb2013 member
    2500 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Crazy!  I'd be really annoyed at their lack of planning and foresight. 

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  • beckyh77beckyh77 member
    100 Comments
    Can't they change the time?
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  • MamaBear904MamaBear904 member
    500 Comments
    Oh I think that is totally unreasonable. I would ask FI to talk to them. You guys cannot ask people to take a whole day off of work to "hang out" because there is a 3 hour break from the "lunch" (wtf) and the actual rehearsal.

    I would even be so inclined to tell FMIL and FFIL that if its a financial strain (insert dramatic exaggeration) on them to host a dinner that you would be willing to pay the difference to set it at a reasonable time for your guests.

    Ugh... this is EXACTLY why I am so grateful we are not getting any "contributions" from the in laws. I would have such a hard time with that.

    Oh yeah, and the distance is just unacceptable. Is there no restaurant within 20 miles of this place? Please. . .

    *** you may want to take this with a grain of salt... Im feeling extra PMS-y today***
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  • Krikin22Krikin22 member
    100 Comments

    That's just odd, I would talk to them about it. The only reason I could think they would do this is because it's cheaper? They still have plenty of time to change the plans so I would let them know sooner rather than later that the distance and time will make it hard for many important guests to attend.

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  • TogetherPerfectTogetherPerfect member
    500 Comments
    I agree with PPs... It just seems extremely inconvenient. I second asking what your FI thinks of it. Maybe he/you both can sit down and talk to them about it.
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  • Annas2013Annas2013 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    My FI talked to them, and I did a little before he did since he was busy, and basically they can move the time but that's about it.  They already paid for it, so it's kind of a done deal at this point.  And the place is only available until 5pm.  They picked it because it was cheaper than most of the restaurants around here, and from what I've heard her and my FI say, it sounds like she and her friends are going to make the food themselves.  For 50 people.  

    For the hanging out?  There's no purpose.  I feel like there's going to be so much to do, hanging out doing nothing would be a waste of time.  

    Another iffy thing is that it's really hard for my mom to get off work, and she's at work until at least 5:30 Mon-Fri.  We'll just have to hope she can get off work I guess?  Basically my FILs hope she can make it, as does my FI, but apparently changing things around for her isn't an option.  We may not always get along but she's still my mom and I still want her there.  Plus one of my BMs will be in school still, and will have class during that time.

    Currently my FI thinks I'm being a bridezilla about the whole thing and that if I wanted to tell them no thank you (or that we'd do it ourselves), that he would be there even if I wasn't.  So it's not a very good day for us, I'll put it that way.
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  • Krikin22Krikin22 member
    100 Comments
    Sorry to hear all that! Hopefully with this much advanced notice your Mom will be able to get off work in time. Why are they doing it at a restaurant if they are making their own food?
     
    I don't think your being a bridezilla, but it does sound like you should probably just go with it at this point. The wedding day is more important so I would try to focus on that. Just a hint of what is to come with the in laws lol.
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  • Sharpschruter22Sharpschruter22 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 25 Love Its
    I'm with Kriken. I don't think you are being a bridezilla at all. Unfortunately, it sounds like you're gonna have to roll with it. Your mom and friend have plenty of advance notice and will hopefully be able to accommodate the schedule. The rehearsal isn't near as important as the wedding. Focus on that and try to let it roll off your back.
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  • Annas2013Annas2013 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    My mom said she and my dad would be willing to split the cost to rent the reception area for the night before, so that we could have the rehearsal dinner there.  The ceremony is outside of an old barn, and the reception is inside.  I haven't talked to my FI yet really, but hopefully that's a maybe.  

    My mom's really ticked though because she and my dad are paying for most of the wedding, so they feel they should be able to make it to the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, which I understand.  

    Also?  For some reason my FMIL when we talked a few days ago, kept giving me 3 hour increments of time for eating.  When I said I was sure we could eat in 1 and a half or 2 hours, she said she had a surprise, and she didn't know if it would fit in a 2 hour span, but "she could try".  Really?  What could you possibly try to surprise people with at a rehearsal dinner?  We're going to have so much to do that day, there's not really time to just waste.  
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