Is a beer & wine only bar bad?

SCogs18 · February 2012

We are having a formal wedding at my parent's country club. Looking at the current budget we are planning on having an open bar all night, but with beer & wine & champagne only (red and white wine). It is a cost saving measure. To have a full open bar with liquor would increase the bill by $4,000. We are paying by the head, not based on consumption and we cannot bring in our own alcohol.

FI's family are huge drinkers and I know they will frown on this (they are not helping pay for the wedding at all). They also have a bad tendency to get wasted at family events. We we recently at a wedding and I heard his uncle say "Is this event beer & wine only or can I get a REAL drink at this wedding?" and it wasn't an innocent question, ya know? He didn't mean it in a nice way.

I'm worried my "cost saving idea" is rude or tacky and that I'm going to upset my guests and that they will think we're being cheap or something. Am I just being paranoid or is this actually a big deal and I should take another look at how to stretch the budget?

morenachica110 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_is-a-beer-wine-only-bar-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:1c2715ae-4995-4afc-b1f6-6b257b627b6ePost:9dfadb60-89ee-43ea-8b44-f528ed8dab19">Re: Is a beer & wine only bar bad?</a>:
[QUOTE]We were in the same situation but ultimately decided to keep the bar beer and wine only. There are people in both families that we would rather not see completely wasted. Our reception is only 3 hours long and is over at 9. If they want a hard drink, there are bars within walking distance that they can hit up after.<strong> I wouldn't let one person's rude question make you spend an extra $4000 or redo your budget to fit it in.</strong>
Posted by Clarustin2011[/QUOTE]

<div>This. If the only reason he went to a wedding was the booze then, I'm sorry, but that's kind of lame and I wouldn't worry about his opinion anyway. We're only doing beer and wine. Of course we'd love to host more, but we just don't have the money. I don't like beer or wine either. Although, I do love this certain plum wine so we may look into getting that.</div>

Starfish0116 · February 2012

I think beer and wine only is fine. There is no sense in going broke for a wedding. I don't drink beer or wine, so it would stink paying for a guest who wouldn't drink any of it - especially if you're paying per head. I think if FI's family is concerned about it, you should let them know that beer/wine is what is within your budget and if they'd like to contribute the extra cost to upgrade the bar is $4000.

We're not big drinkers (actually, FI doesn't drink at all) but we know our guests and they are big drinkers. He was insistent upon a full open bar because he wanted our guests to enjoy themselves.

WLevine75 · February 2012

I worked in Country Clubs and I work in a hotel. There is no reason why you shouldnt be able to upgrade just the bar, not the food. I am also shocked that you cant do a cash bar. I never heard of that before. But I would def. check on just upgrading the bar. It shouldnt be THAT much more to do that.

MillBride2012 · February 2012

I second talking to your venue. It seems silly that they would refuse the money they would make letting you upgrade the bar to open or wine, beer + signature drink - just to try and force you into a food upgrade too.

Maybe try and force them into it by saying you are willing to pay more for bar, but not for food and that lacking that option you will just stick with the lower package.

agladhill · February 2012

I don't think it is rude or tacky. It's your wedding. Who cares what some rude uncle thinks? We are only having beer/wine/champagne too, but we don't really have any big drinkers in my family or FI's family.

Johnsonk313 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_is-a-beer-wine-only-bar-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:1c2715ae-4995-4afc-b1f6-6b257b627b6ePost:f9c28727-71cb-4f64-b182-327ed74b4a0f">Re: Is a beer & wine only bar bad?</a>:
[QUOTE]There isn't anything wrong with just serving beer and wine, FI's family can either cover the difference in cost or just suck it up and suffer in silence. <strong>Is there an option to add a signature drink?</strong>Not sure if that would help since everyone's preferences are different but I know at our venue it is a flat pp charge on top of the bar packages.
Posted by celticmyss[/QUOTE]

This! I would ask about adding a signature drink or two. I know my venue told us if we wanted to do the beer and wine package we could add a couple of signature drinks and it would not make that much difference to the price.

lbarr088 · February 2012

I don't think that is rude. You are at least providing some type of alcohol which guests will appreciate. We are doing open bar for domestic beer and several wines. Luckily, our venue will allow a cash bar so guests who would like cocktails will pay for those.

I also ditto PPs on the signature drink.

Sarah&Eric2012 · February 2012

I don't think beer/wine only is tacky or rude at all. We're only having open bar for cocktail hour and even then it's only beer and wine. I agree with PPs, the venue should be willing to work with you to upgrade the bar if that's what you really want to do. I wouldn't let one rude uncle destroy my budget though. It's really up to you and what you want to do, it's your wedding.

jacquiroxx · February 2012

We're doing beer, wine, a champagne toast (but none at the bar), and 2-3 signature cocktails. Our circle (friends and family alike) are both very accustomed to open bars, so I've been a little worried as well. In the end, it's not worth going over budget to accomodate someone who might be upset about the bar.

I think you should talk to your venue and see about adding a signature cocktail. It can't hurt to ask

But if they won't work with you, don't sweat it. Just work with what you've been given- rude comments are poor reflections of the people saying them, not of you and your FI.

wineo929 · February 2012

We're doing beer and wine only! My mom was the only one who questioned it (vodka and her are best friends... weird haha)

I've been to a few weddings with beer and wine only and had plenty of fun. Those that want to really party will certainly drink as much beer and wine as they need to

DirtyWater · February 2012

I've been to two weddings that were open bar. Both times I could not drink, because they didn't have anything that I like or the option to purchase a drink myself. Normally I wouldn't drink at functions, but when it comes to wedding I need to drink to loosen up or I'm sitting at the table the entire night. I'm an extremely shy person, even when around family and friends.
My side of over 200 are huge drinkers. We're in the process of trying to get FI's family wine from Italy, for dinner.

This doesn't pertain to your answer but it might for others:

Our coordinator, said absolutely DO NOT go with the open bar package, because
1) It is physically impossible to pour the amount of drinks that we would have to pay for
2) Beer & Wine only, they have had many angry guests yell at the bar tenders
3) We would be better off giving the bar a certain amount of money and when it runs out it will switch over to cash bar. The bartenders will just notify guests at the time of purchase that it is a limited time bar.

SCogs18 · February 2012

I talked to the venue about upgrading the bar, but not the food and they said they could do that (I didn't ask about just doing a signature drink or two). It would be half the cost of upgrading to the next package. I can probably rearrange a couple thousand dollars a lot more easily than I could $4,000. I'm going to talk to FI and see what he thinks. I'm glad they were willing to be flexible with us. Thankfully we have some time to look at the numbers.

Thank you all so much for your suggestions! I will definitely talk to them about a signature drink option instead of a full liquor bar.

Starfish0116 · February 2012

I think being able to upgrade to full bar for $2k is a great option if you an swing it!

rseuferer · February 2012

I don't think that is tacky at all! Our venue only allows beer/wine/champagne which I am actually happy about. I was going to have only a cash bar but luckily my dad stepped in and said he would pay for the open bar. If your guests won't come if there is no hard alcohol then they obviously aren't that important in your life.

jessa1228 · February 2012

I agree with PPs, however - aren't you having a black tie wedding? To me, black tie weddings = unlimited open bar. Especially if your guests have to pay for formal attire.

If you aren't having a black tie, forget what I just said, ha.

SCogs18 · February 2012

Jessa- It is not officially "black tie" because we opted for a DJ instead of a band (we like the origional version of songs better). We also don't want our guests to not come because they don't want to rent a tux, so technically it is "black tie optional," but yes it is a very formal event. I think we're gonna cut back other places and make it happen.

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