Phones in Church

rachelm13 · October 2012

Crazy thought popped in my head, reason #469434823 why I should never have stayed in tonight. ahahah.

So, the church doesn't have the "silence your phone" signage in the vestibule. I mean normal people would know to turn their phone off or silent/vibrate.

Should I have a sign reminding people to turn off/silence their phones for the ceremony? Something light hearted of course.

OR just let it be and cross my fingers that people will quiet their phones...

I would be upset if someone's phone starting ringing, even if it was a fun song, in the middle of the ceremony.

NOLAbridealmost · October 2012

A sign is beyond unnecessary. Assholes who don't silence a phone for a wedding won't care about a sign. The 99 percent that are smart enough to silence phones without a sign could be offended.

rachelm13 · October 2012

thank you! ahahaha it was one of those moments...

Ali092011 · October 2012

The JP we used normally says some little bit about silencing phones before she begins a ceremony, and we told her in no uncertain terms that we did NOT want her policing people's cell phone use.

Honestly, a phone could have rung during my ceremony and I wouldn't have noticed anyway because I was too focused on what was going on (although I understand that I was married in a garden and a church has different acoustics). My nephew, who was in the first row, cried during parts of the ceremony, I was told, and I didn't know until later.

emeejeeayen · October 2012

I'm actually one of those people who genuinely means to turn off my phone, but then I get distracted and forget at the worst moments if someone doesn't remind me. My mom is the same way. I would be truly appreciative of a sign, though I understand some would see it as policing. Honestly, I think most people would feel bad if they forgot to turn off their phone, though, and wouldn't be offended by the reminder. But perhaps I'm the odd duck. You know your group best.

Summer2011Bride · October 2012

The thing is, for every person who is like PP and wants a sign to remind them because they honesty forgot, there is one (or more) people like me who would be offended and put off that you didn't think i could remember on my own. I honestly would skip it. Would it be annoying if a cell phone rang? Sure. But it would not be the end of the world, and you would still be married.

kipnus · October 2012

Our officiant made a little comment about phones and flash photography, my H reminded his to dad to turn off his phone, and FIL's phone still went off in the middle of the officiant's sermon! H was really mad at first, but now we laugh about it. Apparently FIL's phone has gone off at each of his sons' graduation ceremonies too. It won't really matter in the long run.

hshertenlieb · October 2012

I'll be upset if a phone goes off during our ceremony. I will also be upset if the young children that will be there start crying or making a ruckus. I only hope ppl can mute the call immediately or remove the child from the room....but it won't ruin my day or end my fairy tale if it doesn't happen. It's been said often, common sense, really isn't that common anymore. PPL are too caught up in their own lives......

Avion22 · October 2012

Yeah, my dad's phone went off during my sister's wedding. For my wedding, I made sure that he left it in the car! We didn't have a sign. I'm not sure if the officiant said anything or not (but I don't think so).

I agree -- most people have the common sense. But personally, I would not be offended by a gentle reminder about flash photography and silencing phones. I don't get offended in the movie theater, why would I get offended by the same reminder at a wedding? Funny enough, I think my sister's officiant DID remind people, but of course my dad was waiting outside with my sister, so of course he didn't hear it.

I don't think there is any need for "cute" wording. Just be direct. "To help preserve the sanctity of today's ceremony, we kindly ask that you silence your phones and refrain from using flash photography."

Avion22 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_phones-in-church?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:24dfe745-0412-4edb-b2f7-287e7c11a464Post:972451c3-da04-4b14-8f66-0a6b7f5abae4">Re: Phones in Church</a>:
[QUOTE]I was playing the organ in a Baptist church one Sunday. Someone's phone went off during prayer time. The preacher looked up and shouted, "That had better be a phone call from GOD!"
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

<div>Love it!</div>

kmmssg · October 2012

I love that, CMG.

I, too, am one of those folks who might forget. I would appreciate the sign or something in the program. I have ADD and I'm not kidding about that. My short little attention span will think about it while I am parking the car and by the time I open my door I am wondering what flavor the cake might be.

I think it is absolutely silly for people to be offended by a sign. A very good friend is a Baptist minister and he has said repeatedly how stunned he is that people forget every Sunday, let alone the majority of weddings. He always comes out prior to the processional and discreetly mentions where you can take screaming children, no flash photography, and to turn off your phones. Love that man.

rachelm13 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_phones-in-church?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:24dfe745-0412-4edb-b2f7-287e7c11a464Post:972451c3-da04-4b14-8f66-0a6b7f5abae4">Re: Phones in Church</a>:
[QUOTE]I was playing the organ in a Baptist church one Sunday. Someone's phone went off during prayer time. The preacher looked up and shouted, "That had better be a phone call from GOD!"
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

That is pretty amazing!

Thank you ladies for your advice. His dad is a deacon and performing the ceremony so I guess I could ask him to mention it instead. Oddly enough i have been to the church with them a few times, but I am drawing a blank on if they mention phones or photography at the beginning. I do remember last time we went that people did not remove their crying children....

Summer2011Bride · October 2012

I actually do get offended at the movie theater because they have gone beyond having signs. Now at our theater when you hand the person your ticket, they tell YOU specifically, "Please turn off your phones." I try very hard to refrain from saying, "yeah, I know. You don't have to remind me." And guess what? We just went to a movie tonight where they were telling everyone when taking tickets to turn off their phones and lo and behold, two phones go off in our movie. So now you've peeved me a little bit, and you've still got damn phones ringing.

My point is not that overall, gentle reminders don't have a place anywhere or can't be helpful to SOME people, but those of you posting here are the ones who are polite enough to actually turn off your phone if you see/hear a reminder. Obviously, judging by how many phones I've heard go off in church or at the movies, some people don't give a crap about reminders and keep them on anyhow. So now there's a small possibility you've offended someone with your sign or reminder, and you still haven't silenced all phones.

Ali092011 · October 2012

It doesn't offend me in most situations. TBH, I wish my boss would agree to putting a sign in our pharmacy saying that if you're on the phone, you need to step aside and let us help the next patient in line. But to me, a wedding is different. I guess I can't really explain why. It just seems like a cell phone reminder is out of place.

theelusive1 · October 2012

I believe in telling them to silence their phones. The funniest one for me. I called a person who we had not seen/talked to in months. Live in different states. The phone picked up and call dropped. So I called back and it did the same. I gave up. The next day I got a call from him screaming how rude it was that I called him while he was at a wedding and the phone went off in the middle of the wedding. I said how the heck did I know you were at a wedding? He was so mad. I hung up. While visiting friends in the same state he and his wife walked into the same restaurant. The wife started in about how rude it was of ME to call. I said did you ever think it was rude of him/you to have a cell phone that was turned on during a wedding? Needless to say I have not called again, after all they might be at a wedding.

stantokm · October 2012

I like the idea of signs before entering the church, out in the lobby saying something like, "Please silence all cell phones prior to entering the main chapel." I think it's better to have a cut off point than just a general request ("Please silence all cell phones"). Before I decided to only have my phone on vibrate, I would forget to silence it because I'd think, "Oh, yeah, I'll silence it when I get to my seat" or "...before church starts," etc.

Calypso1977 · October 2012

even when you have signs, people dont read. they are stupid.

id have the ofificiant make an announcement at the start.

i was at church a few weeks ago and someone's phone rang right in the middle of the homily. worse, it took her a full minute to find the phone to silence it.

OwningAHome1981 · October 2012

Even though it sucks, if a phone DOES ring during the ceremony, it is that person who will look like a jacka$$ not you.

Jen4948 · October 2012

Having signs up won't necessarily remind people not to have them on or not to use them.

True story: At my cousin's wedding (he was the groom), his mother came back down the aisle talking on her cell phone. Tackiest thing I ever saw.

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