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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Please HELP me with a Guest List Question!

Hi, so my FI and I are really confused on the number of people we should invite vs the number we need to stay under for our budget.  We are paying for the wedding ourselves and cannot have more then 100 people.  Plus our wedding is a destination wedding. The problem is that we want to send invitations to some family that we know probably won't make it, just as a nice thing for them to get in the mail and see we would want them there.  So do we count them on our guest list?  Or do you think we should only count those we are pretty sure will come and then still send invitations?  Please help!!  Thanks - Miss Confused : ) 

Re: Please HELP me with a Guest List Question!

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-guest-list-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b08bb67b-1c9a-4637-909d-0456145296d0Post:e9cc7d20-7c39-4ef7-b2e0-87c4d87a0c6a">Please HELP me with a Guest List Question!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi, so my FI and I are really confused on the number of people we should invite vs the number we need to stay under for our budget.  We are paying for the wedding ourselves and cannot have more then 100 people.  Plus our wedding is a destination wedding. The problem is that we want to send invitations to some family that we know probably won't make it, just as a nice thing for them to get in the mail and see we would want them there.  So do we count them on our guest list?  Or do you think we should only count those we are pretty sure will come and then still send invitations?  Please help!!  Thanks - Miss Confused : ) 
    Posted by alohapinke[/QUOTE]
    Definitely count everyone you send invitations to on your guest list. As much as you "know for a fact they definitely won't be coming," they might surprise you and come. Then you'll be up shits creek.
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  • Only send invitations to the number of people you can afford. You never know who will surprise you and RSVP yes. I'd say at least 15 people on our guest list we thought were definite "no's" ended up coming.
  • Always assume they will come.  My dad wanted me to add a bunch of OOT people (from where he and my mom live) that I've never met before "out of respect - they won't actually come" but I couldn't afford it if they had said yes, so I told him no.
  • Our wedding is in Maine and most of the people are coming from out-of-state (Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Florida, Wyoming, etc) We originally thought very few people would be actually willing/able to fly; however, we haven't sent out STDs yet and we already have an outpouring of guests making travel arrangements so they can be with us on our wedding day. Don't assume that someone will not be able to make it. 
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    The truth behind a well laced dress
  • Thanks everyone!  This has definitely helped me out!
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