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Totally Confused...

RobinandDJRobinandDJ
10 Comments
in New Hampshire
So I have been waiting for a month for my bridesmaids to go order their dresses but my one BM just had an excuse everytime I asked her about it. Then finally last weekend I told her that they had to be ordered this week because we are 20 weeks out and the dresses take 12-16 weeks to come in. Well last night she told me that getting a dress wasn't a priority and that I am asking too much of her and she doesn't want to be in the wedding. Well I dont think getting a dress is too much to ask. I live in FL so Im not having a shower or anything else like that so I just don't understand. What hurts me even more is that we have been friends for a long time now and she told me this via text and then when I said I was really hurt but I understood, she didn't even respond.

I just don't know how I should feel about our friendship because I feel like I just got dumped! I am upset but I do understand her situation I just feel really blindsided...
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Re: Totally Confused...

  • JuJuBee1977JuJuBee1977 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hi,
    Sounds like your friend either is selfish, does not know what being a BM means or is just plain lazy.  And to do this all by text is just plain rude. Sorry if i am harsh but that is the way it seems, i hope everything works out

    Jules
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  • RobinandDJRobinandDJ
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Those are my thoughts exactly! I just didn't know if I was being too harsh by feeling those things! I just don't know what or how I should move forward with our friendship...
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  • mariegramariegra member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree.  Very inconsiderate of her.  If I were you, I'd accept her resignation from the bridal party and either find a substitute, or just go with one less bridesmaid.  We've had our share of bridesmaid drama too.....in hindsight, should have waited until closer to the wedding to select the bridal party.  Regarding the friendship--time will tell.
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  • dhdaydreamdhdaydream
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We had some bridesmaid drama as well...actually, MOH.  My original MOH was my college roommate where the rest of my WP is co-workers/friends (I'm a teacher) and she just did not want to work with them at all.  She chose not to communicate with them and would blow them off and not even talk to me in the end.  She expected me to have picked other college friends that I don't really see as my WP.  FI and I had a sit down with her and explained that the WP was our decision and that she needed to decide what she wanted to do and she stormed out and left, so we decided to promote one of the BM who is one of my other good friends to MOH and then to not fill the reamining WP slot.  So, we have 3 BM and 4 GM and we are fine with that. 

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  • cg-pm52111cg-pm52111
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    While I agree that she seems to be inconsiderate, is there any chance that something else is going on?  Is money tight for her?  Is she single?  She could just be a bit jealous or has another issue you don't know about.  I might try giving a phone call to just ask if she is ok.  Don't talk about the wedding - talk to her as her friend.  Let her know that you're concerned about her because she's acting different than she normally does.  Let her know that you're there for her if she need anything.
    Worth a shot, IMO.  GL!
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  • chelley599chelley599
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-hampshire_totally-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:101Discussion:9aef1d37-bba4-4bf1-bb75-b243f606e153Post:ae5fd9d9-70d1-49cc-a055-6baf369d57e2">Re: Totally Confused...</a>:
    [QUOTE]While I agree that she seems to be inconsiderate, is there any chance that something else is going on?  Is money tight for her?  Is she single?  She could just be a bit jealous or has another issue you don't know about.  I might try giving a phone call to just ask if she is ok.  Don't talk about the wedding - talk to her as her friend.  Let her know that you're concerned about her because she's acting different than she normally does.  Let her know that you're there for her if she need anything. Worth a shot, IMO.  GL!
    Posted by cg-pm52111[/QUOTE]
    This!  There may be more that you are unaware of.  The way she went about it is cruddy but I would definitely try to talk to her NWR to see if there is something going on in her life that is upsetting to her.  If you two are that close, I would worry.  If you talk to her and there is nothing going on then she is just a crappy friend.
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