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Awkward Prelim Wedding List

adwalisseradwalisser member
Third Anniversary 10 Comments
in Wedding Woes
Anyways here's the deal: Target guest list 50-75people with a traditional church wedding.  Small and cool yea?



 Thing is...he doesn't have many friends + he has a small immediate family with 0 connections to his extended.  Max possible guests from him is 13 people.

I, on the other hand, compiled my family alone, and it's up to 47 people. (I have 7 half-siblings+kids, a living aunt and uncle on my dad's side, and my 2 aunts+kids that are my mom cousins.)

Before I even go into my friends list, we're at a cozy area in our target range of guests.  I feel that it'll be more than a bit awkward for my boy and his guests being that 70% with be people who are my guests.  Even when I cut down my family list, The difference would still be overwhelming.



 Is there anyway I could make his guests more comfortable?? Would I need to reduce MY list dramatically to match better with his?  How will I do the seating at the wedding and reception?  Do I just put his family all at 1-2 tables at the recep and perhaps put some of my guests in the mix with them?

Bah, thanks in advance


?*:.?. o(???)o .?.:*? June.23.2012
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Re: Awkward Prelim Wedding List

  • McKenna2012McKenna2012 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Don't worry about it.  Our guest list is about 100, and only about 15 of them are my fiance's invites, and we expect only 5 of those are coming!  I don't know about how to seat them b/c we are just doing open seating.
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  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    We had 180 at our wedding and a whopping 14 og them were H's family. They had a great time and there were no problems.
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  • adwalisseradwalisser member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    thank you so much guys :) this makes me 100x more comfortable with this.  An open seating sounds like a great plan!!  I know most of my friends know him and his friends and I was going to plan having all of them be on the 'groom's side' of the seating. 
    ?*:.?. o(???)o .?.:*? June.23.2012
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  • VRLVRL
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_awkward-prelim-wedding-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:07eeb016-359b-41a1-be41-1e6f21eb8b73Post:5d4c50a1-25a3-4f1d-acc1-9467465ce5c2">Re: Awkward Prelim Wedding List</a>:
    [QUOTE]thank you so much guys :) this makes me 100x more comfortable with this.  An<strong> open seating</strong> sounds like a great plan!!  I know most of my friends know him and his friends and I was going to plan having all of them be on the 'groom's side' of the seating. 
    Posted by adwalisser[/QUOTE]

    I'm a little late coming into this, but:

    Please don't do a completely open seating plan. Try just assigning people to particular tables instead of specific seats.

    Going into a function where I only know a small number of people and no seating plan stresses me out - what happens if the group of people I'm with have to split up because there are only two seats available at one table, three seats at another, etc.

    Or worse! What if a family has to split up because there aren't enough seats available at one particular table?

    With an open seating plan, your guests may end up feeling like they are playing a round of musical chairs - and no one wants to be the odd one out without a chair! If you assign tables as opposed to seats, everyone knows they have a place.
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  • adwalisseradwalisser member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_awkward-prelim-wedding-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:07eeb016-359b-41a1-be41-1e6f21eb8b73Post:6f8bfe89-7c22-48c8-9ea6-4b72bf2e2da1">Re: Awkward Prelim Wedding List</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Awkward Prelim Wedding List : I'm a little late coming into this, but: Please don't do a completely open seating plan. Try just assigning people to particular tables instead of specific seats. Going into a function where I only know a small number of people and no seating plan stresses me out - what happens if the group of people I'm with have to split up because there are only two seats available at one table, three seats at another, etc. Or worse! What if a family has to split up because there aren't enough seats available at one particular table? With an open seating plan, your guests may end up feeling like they are playing a round of musical chairs - and no one wants to be the odd one out without a chair! If you assign tables as opposed to seats, everyone knows they have a place.
    Posted by VRL[/QUOTE]

    Ah, I was talking about the seating in the Church being open instead of a designated bride side / groom side.  I guess Im using the wrong terminology?  As for the reception, I think I'll go with the assign table approach, I'm not sure if I want to fully seperate his family from mine, but it'll get figured out evench.

    Thank you though for the warning :)!
    ?*:.?. o(???)o .?.:*? June.23.2012
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  • VRLVRL
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_awkward-prelim-wedding-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:07eeb016-359b-41a1-be41-1e6f21eb8b73Post:af6ba01c-71cd-4a36-97cb-401474a56944">Re: Awkward Prelim Wedding List</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Awkward Prelim Wedding List : Ah,<strong> I was talking about the seating in the Church being open</strong> instead of a designated bride side / groom side.  I guess Im using the wrong terminology?  As for the reception, I think I'll go with the assign table approach, I'm not sure if I want to fully seperate his family from mine, but it'll get figured out evench. Thank you though for the warning :)!
    Posted by adwalisser[/QUOTE]


    So sorry, I must have missed that! I agree with this approach  - I'll be doing the same thing at my ceremony site.

    Good luck with everything!
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  • redheadtmkredheadtmk member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    As for the reception, alot of people here do reserved 1-2 tables for the brides family and 1-2 reserved tables for the grooms family and the rest open seating. that sounds like it might work for you. You can reserve tables for the immediate family and have open seating for the rest. It saves time and money on seating cards/table numbers etx. I would have 1-2 extra tables if you can so people can spread out a little bit.

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