ALL HELL IS BREAKING LOSE!

Re: ALL HELL IS BREAKING LOSE!

• m tulli member

  

  July 2012 edited July 2012

  I could not imagine getting the advice I am going to give you with one month before the wedding.  Before you read the rest ask yourself is this normal behavior from him.  Give yourself an honest answer.  If there have been signs of this before then I really think you need to take a step back and ask yourself if you want the wedding to go forward.

  
  

  The gun fight I could chalk up to just a typical fight and would just say to give it a couple days and i'm sure it was nothing.

  
  

  The fact that he unplugged the internet KNOWING you had a paper due brings this to a whole different level.  That threw up a huge red flag to me.  I don't care how mad you get at someone that is not how you treat someone you love.  I would really think about your relationship.  Not sure if you are open to it but counseling can be very helpful.  

  
  

  Like I said not knowing him, you or your relationship i can't give advice.  I would be interested to know if he comes home today and if so how does he act.  

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• mtbentley

  

  July 2012

  I'm so sorry. It sounds like he is being a big jerk. Is he always like this or might there be something else going on. Maybe stresses at work or being nervous about the wedding. FWIW, I think you were absolutely right about not lending him your gun. It is registered to you so you are responsible for anything that happens with it, and if he is not mature enough to understand that then he shouldn't be using any gun at all. Him unplugging the internet on you was very childish and spiteful. I think the only thing you can really do is try to talk to him and see if there are underlying issues. Maybe look into couples counceling. It's hard to say this but if he can't appollogize to you and have an adult conversation about his issues then putting off the wedding may be the best option. We are all here for you whatever happens.

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• [Deleted User]

  

  July 2012

  Agree with both PP's.
  Is there any other way the cord could have come unplugged, or did he admit to it?
  
  This really stinks, maybe the pre-wedding stress is getting to him too?  Have things been like this before?

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• rungirl12 member

  

  July 2012

  I agree with mtulli in asking yourself if there have been other signs or incidents like this one.  If so, consider cancelling or at the very least, postponing the wedding.  It would be one thing for him to be mad and not speak to you, or run off for a couple hours, but to sabotage you and not return home does not sound right.

  
  

  If you yourself are having doubts or want to talk with others in a similar situation, I recommend the website, theregoesthebride.com.  It is a forum for broken engagements or those considering calling off their wedding.  I had a broken engagement 7 years ago and the support there was great.  I realized so many red flags that I had been previously ignoring or hiding from myself.  Best of luck & PM if you want more details from me.

  

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• lb1212

  

  July 2012

  Wow... That really really sucks!  I hate to say that I agree with PPs.  As far as him saying he wanted to cancel the wedding (all because you wouldn't loan him, what he views as, a toy!!), it sounds like he did all that he could to cause you the most amount of pain possible last night. That is 100% not cool.
  
  When you talk, you should make some "rules" you both agree to follow. I think "time outs" are good when you are in the middle of a spat and emotions are high. A break gives you time to cool down.  If it turns into an all-night break, a common courtesy would be to let the other one know. Damaging your partner's property (disabling your internet) should always be a no-no.
  
  Not loaning out your gun IS the RIGHT choice!!!!  You purchased it, you registered it, so you get to make the decisions about it! He has the option of buying and registering his own gun. (If for some reason, that is not an option for him, then you were 200% right not to lend it out.)  
  
  I would definitely set up a time for the two of you to talk to someone.  If you are having a religious ceremony, your minister would be a great place to start.

  

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• transcriber87

  

  July 2012

  I have been off of here for a couple of days....trying to get our relationship worked on...First off, I want to thank you all for your advice.  He totally denied unplugging the internet which I STILL find hard to believe..He blamed it on the kitten, well, I just don't see how a kitten could have gotten back there and pressed hard enough on the cable to unhook it.  He has apologized many times for saying that about the wedding..he said he did not stay out all night, he came home at 3AM and slept on the couch and then got up and left for work.  He said he is stressed out because some of you may remember, he got laid off on a Monday from his job but started a new one that same week.. He hates it, its not what he expected but is staying there until something better comes along..His father passed away just less than a month ago so he is still upset over that..but we have had some long and serious talks so I feel better now about everything.

  Cheryl (25) Andy (24) Newlyweds as of 8-17-12

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