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speaking of my IL's

GBCKGBCK member
Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Woes
My kid is flying out w/ them tomorrow, and they'll have her for 6 days.

So, my MIL decided Buffy needed clothes--apparently I don't have enough clothes for her in the large dresser and closet full *insert eye-roll here*
(she just doesn't tend to like the clothes I get for Buffy and I get the impression she disapproves of the percentage of them that are 2nd hand.)

So she spent $200 to outfit Buffy for this trip.
(clothes that will stay at MIL's house, so it doesn't actually reduce the # of clothing items I'll buy for my child at my house or anything :-p)

I just rolled my eyes.  
Buffy has a new swimsuit, pajamas, shorts, tops...everything.

I've already decided I"m putting her in her 'stormpooper' onesie tomorrow so she wears that on the plane ride, jsut as a small passive-agressive dig :-P
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Re: speaking of my IL's

  • biz717biz717
    100 Comments
    Ugh that is obnoxious. Too bad they didn't take that money and put it in a college fund or something useful :P
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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    funny, that's what I told the Mr...that $200 in her college fund would go a lot further, long term :-P

    But it's their money that they flush down the toilet because they're crazy-stupid with money...and they do want good things for Buffy so, whatever.
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  • biz717biz717
    100 Comments
    I hear you. I still support you rolling your eyes about it though :)
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  • AuntFloAuntFlo member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I come close to a heart attack everytime my dad and stepmom take DD shopping.   I like to shop at Target, Old Navy, garage sales, etc. - - THEY like to shop at Macy's, Gymboree, etc.   But I just have to let them do it.   It's their money and their one and only grandaughter.  I just try to  shrug it off when they buy a $20 t-shirt or a $40 dress.   And eyeroll privately.
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  • MinMMinM
    10000 Comments
    Yeah, I think this falls under 'you can't tell other people how to spend their money.' I mean, they aren't buying the kid crack or anything. It's clothes. You aren't going to be there. If they want to put her in a tutu, let them. Until she is old enough to have an opinion on her clothes, I wouldn't make it an issue (if I wasn't there). But my mom has great taste in clothes, so it wouldn't be an issue for me. Also, no kid, so there's that.
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  • themanlymanthemanlyman
    10 Comments
    Why not just be happy that your child has people that want to shower her with stuff. It would drive me nuts if my sister dressed my niece in nothing nut second hand stuff.
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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    she actually has strong opinions on clothes already...
    but not always in good ways, she wandered about the house one day last week wearing 3 shirts and 2 pairs of pants :-P
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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    (I will say, I probably wouldn't have been so twitchy, but, remember these folks just had their most recent  bankruptcy and moved into the current house after a strategic foreclosure on the old one.

    And this weekend, after spending 2? weeks on vacation, they decided they don't like the hardwood floors they put in throughout the new house (9 months ago)--they're going to rip them all up and put in NEW new flooring.  
    It's that they probably don't *really* have the moneyto spend.  But, I'm not going to win taht war) 
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  • zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    I give them a pass on the grandbaby clothes but WTH at ripping up new floors???  Why don't they just burn cash for fun. It seems that they can't get rid of it fast enough.
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    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    well, they're building an addition (not as snark-worthy as it sounds, they need to rehab the house for when the disability gets worse and she's wheelchair bound--and that's mostly paid for through the VA program), and she 'hates' the floors they chose--and she needs the new floor in the addition to match the floor in the existing, so she insists they both need to be changed.
    Because it chips?  she doesn't like the look, it shows dirt...I don't know.  I think they're made-up reasons

    I nod a lot.
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I hate when MIL buys second hand clothes for the kids.  Not because they are second hand, but because she washes them in smelly, smelly fabric softener.  6let has super sensitive skin and it even causes DH to sneeze.  I've asked repeatedly that she not do it and I've told her I have to rewash to get the smell out but she continues to do it.

    She walked in last week.  Between the sack of clothes and what she was wearing I almost hurled.
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  • themanlymanthemanlyman
    10 Comments
    In Response to Re:speaking of my IL's:[QUOTE]I hate when MIL buys second hand clothes for the kids.nbsp; Not because they are second hand, but because she washes them in smelly, smelly fabric softener.nbsp; 6let has super sensitive skin and it even causes DH to sneeze.nbsp; I've asked repeatedly that she not do it and I've told her I have to rewash to get the smell out but she continues to do it.She walked in last week.nbsp; Between the sack of clothes and what she was wearing I almost hurled. Posted by 6fsn[/QUOTE]
    Sometimes older people are just stuck in their ways and think that deviating from it is ludicrous.
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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_speaking-of-my-ils?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:68261b70-13a0-4a55-8db7-58a78f937139Post:a5eb6ef9-aebe-47ad-a6a8-76c4c0601d78">Re: speaking of my IL's</a>:
    [QUOTE]I hate when MIL buys second hand clothes for the kids.  Not because they are second hand, but because she washes them in smelly, smelly fabric softener.  6let has super sensitive skin and it even causes DH to sneeze.  I've asked repeatedly that she not do it and I've told her I have to rewash to get the smell out but she continues to do it. She walked in last week.  Between the sack of clothes and what she was wearing I almost hurled.
    Posted by 6fsn[/QUOTE]

    you should be happy it's fabric softener and not cat urine. OSIL's ILs are the animal hoarders who reek of cat pee. the MIL tried to cover it up with bad perfume. Nephew doesn't want to have anything to do with them because of the smell. OSIL has "accidentally" spilled stuff in their luggage on several trips now just for the excuse to wash all of their clothes and put their luggage in the garage "to dry." I can't believe she got away with that more than once. I think she blamed nephew last time.
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  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_speaking-of-my-ils?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:68261b70-13a0-4a55-8db7-58a78f937139Post:5bf34992-fb75-4177-aaf0-71757f93870d">Re:speaking of my IL's</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why not just be happy that your child has people that want to shower her with stuff. It would drive me nuts if my sister dressed my niece in nothing nut second hand stuff.
    Posted by themanlyman[/QUOTE]
    Why would it bother you? Kids are hard on clothes, and I see very little reason to buy new for most things. I don't understand why it affects you where your sister gets her kids' clothes. This is just weird to me. 
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  • themanlymanthemanlyman
    10 Comments
    Because growing up my family was poor. Dirt poor. My mother used to get most of my clothes from a nieghbor that had a kid a few years older than me. My mother bought my older sister new clothes all the time and used them for my 3 younger sisters. I got made fun of all the time by the kids in my nieghborhood for wearing this other kids clothes. This went on until H.S. and it stopped because I had to wear a uniform and I got a job and bought my own sneakers and clothes. When I see my niece walking around in her cousins clothes it makes me think if that. My sister and her man both have good jobs, they can afford new clothes. I'm not talking about buying the kid polo and baby gap, but they could atleast get some decent looking stuff.
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  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm sorry you were bullied for it; that's just dumb. (Of the other kids.) 

    But "can afford" and "should spend money on" are different things. I can afford to buy Bacon new clothes, but I don't, because no one's making fun of her and she's going to get paint and dirt all over them anyway. It's much better to be thrifty with clothing (I shop the thrift store, too) and save more, IMO. 
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  • PMeg819PMeg819 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Eh, DH had the same thing growing up. He got picked on a lot because even though he was the only boy all his clothes were secondhand. He has no problem with me dressing DS in second hand clothes. I can't bring myself to buy everything brand new because I literally have to buy new clothes every 3-6 months with as fast as DS grows.
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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    2nd hand clothes dont' have to be crappy either.

    I mean, Buffy could be wearing brand-new, less-than-stylish walmart clothes or 2nd hand awesomesauce clothes from *insert name brand here*

    Eventually, she'll probably care about brands/style/whatever.

    Right now, she doesn't, so it's the perfect time to dress her how I want :-P
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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper

    i can see where you're coming from on being bullied - but i think you need to consider the age of the kid in question, as well.

    My daughter is 18.5mo. Her grandparents and aunts spoil her with clothes (to the point where i will only get a few basics/fillers, or something cute on a good sale) - but she'll also occasionally wear "hammy downs" from her cousin. At this age, they go through clothes very quickly - they either get ruined or outgrown.

    When she's old enough to take care of her clothes, and will wear them more, I won't have a problem spending a little more to make sure she looks nice. I'm still not going to be buying her designer stuff (and probably not much of anything if the grandparents and aunts keep up the shopping) - but I won't be shopping at Goodwill either,

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  • themanlymanthemanlyman
    10 Comments
    I know that it is petty, but I hated it as a kid. I would never want my child or any child for that matter to be put through what I had to go through, especially in this day and age with facebook and cyber bullying.
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_speaking-of-my-ils?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:68261b70-13a0-4a55-8db7-58a78f937139Post:3c63faaf-ea10-40c8-aaf9-6dd7582e0bef">Re:speaking of my IL's</a>:
    [QUOTE]I know that it is petty, but I hated it as a kid. I would never want my child or any child for that matter to be put through what I had to go through, especially in this day and age with facebook and cyber bullying.
    Posted by themanlyman[/QUOTE]

    Just because you hated it doesn't mean others would though.  It sucks that you were bullied but the kid's actions were bad, not the clothes.  If MIL's washing didn't cause my husband and son to have allergic reactions I would like them even more.  My son loves getting hand me downs from his cousin and the firls in my family love to swap.
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  • themanlymanthemanlyman
    10 Comments
    I see your point. And if it works for you in a good way you shouldn't deviate from it. I guess I just wish I had grandparents that helped my mom.
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