**mica 178**

Re: **mica 178**

• mica178 member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  I consulted with a colleague, and he helped the girl find the resources she was asking for.  I talked with her primary care physician about the girl's choices, but she felt that the girl should just see her OB.  The OB gave her an abortion. 
  
  So while my hands were wiped clean of the pregnancy part of her care, I still feel... off?  I still grieve a bit when I think about her choice, especially since I have seen her medical record and know what other choices she has made. 

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• Calypso1977 member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  that's really too bad, Mica. 
  
  i wonder how she's feeling, post abortion, if she has any regrets.  many do, sadly, alot dont.
  
  an acquaintance of mine has had 2 abortions, one when in her mid teens, the other a couple of years ago.  she has no remorse for either (and was raised catholic).
  
  interesting, when i asked her if she got pregnant now, by her fiance, what she'd do, she said shed have an abortion because she doesnt want to be pregnant on her wedding day (this summer).  seemed like such a vain reason, especially since she told me she wants to get pregnant right away after the wedding because she cant wait to have a kid with him. 

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• mica178 member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  Oh, please don't tell me that.  I hate hearing stories about people having abortions because they don't want to be pregnant on their wedding day or whatever.  I know it happens, but I just like to pretend in my happy world where abortion never happens for whatever reason. 
  
  When I was in medical school, I was told that most women do not regret their abortions.  I do not know if this is true, as I am unaware of any close female friend having an abortion.  I do know men whose girlfriends have had abortions, and the men did not regret it at all, but that's a different story.  As someone who is anxiously waiting to be in the "right" place to have kids, I cannot imagine making the choice, but I know that I am emotionally biased. 
  

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• Calypso1977 member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  well, you figure the majority who have them arent married,and then the married ones that have them usually are doing it becuase the child isnt "normal" and they truly feel they are doing the right thing.  so, yeah i can see where most dont regret it.
  
  but to not feel anything at all... i mean, i asked this girl, do you ever wonder what they'd be like now if youd kept them, etc. and she said she never gave them a passing thought in all these years.  i honeslty didnt know how to respond so i just changed the subject. 

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  I know I am jumping in on this, but I remember that thread.
  
  During Right to Life week our church's youth group (Lifeteen) which my husband and I are members of, had a speaker that came to talk to us about being pro-life etc. He told us that most young ladies do have remorse and regret, but sometimes not for years later.
  
  I also know a lady whose children attend our church's nursery (where I work on Sunday's) and she told me that she was a wild child and made some bad decisions back in her youth. She had an abortion and said it took her a long time to get over it, and it still haunts her everyday, even though she has 2 beautiful little girls. She told me she sought help from the priest and spent a lot of time speaking with God before she could even get go back to church.
  
  While I would never have an abortion, it seems to me like most mothers would have some regrets and feelings deep down that were very much repressed, esp since not many seek or have help available after an abortion.

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• bibliophile2010 member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  Wow. That is so sad to hear (I'm totally jumping in, because I remember it too). Like Mica, I pretend to live in a world where no one actually has abortions, so my world has been rocked lately when I hear about it as a real thing. Similarly, I never think of people as pro-abortion, just pro-choice (as in, if it really came down to it, no one ever would have an abortion; they just like the ability to choose in the abstract).
  
  I can't imagine not ever feeling remorse or sorrow. I think instead, many women put up a wall to block those feelings, and never deal with them, so they never experience remorse/grief/sorrow/etc. I think that this is true of many sins for many people in our sinful world.
  

  

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• clearheavens member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  I'm also jumping on this board, but only to give a resource for those who are grieving after their abortion.  It's called Rachel's Vineyard.  The name comes from an Old Testament woman named Rachel in the Book of Jeremiah.

  
  

  Thus says the Lord:
  In Ramah is heard the sound of moaning, of bitter weeping!
  Rachel mourns her children,
  she refuses to be consoled because her children are no more.
  Thus says the Lord:
  Cease your cries of mourning, wipe the tears from your eyes.
  The sorrow you have shown shall have its reward, says the Lord.
  There is hope for your future!

  
  

  http://www.rachelsvineyard.org/

  
  
  

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• Jasmine&Rajah member

  

  February 2011 edited December 2011

  My heart sank when I read your post, mica.  I can't imagine how you must have felt hearing that news.
  
  Blessed little martyr, you have been gathered into the arms of our Savior in Heaven.  Mother of God, pray with us to the One who is our only hope.  Amen.
  

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