After the wedding day party

dragossoul84 · May 2011

Since we are having an out of town wedding July 3rd my fiance and I are throwing a 4th of July party for our family who we are paying to stay in cabins with us and a couple friends who are staying in the cabin were the bbq is. There is a couple that is demanding to be invited and they are so insistant I almost feel like I'm doing something wrong and thought I'd get your thoughts. The guy is an okay guy hes part of my fiance's wedding party but his gf is awful she hates me and says some pretty awful things most current was that as my fiance and I have just become pregnant she wished a horse would kick me in the stomach and make me miscarry. Now I get that she has to be invited in all wedding parties as his friends date like the wedding and the rehersal dinner and invited to the shower but since this party is thrown after the wedding by my parents to celebrate family I dont see how it mandates an invite for them. I dont want to be rude but having my parents pay to entertain some one that wants me to have a miscarriage after personally paying for her to attend all of the wedding parties seems excisive

Mrs.B6302007 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_after-wedding-day-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2f1272df-aa17-4511-8f27-c7077b1c0bf5Post:208fc4db-7222-48b0-b2ab-5f80f5125828">After the wedding day party</a>:
[QUOTE]Since we are having an out of town wedding July 3rd my fiance and I are throwing a 4th of July party for our family who we are paying to stay in cabins with us and a couple friends who are staying in the cabin were the bbq is. There is a couple that is demanding to be invited and they are so insistant I almost feel like I'm doing something wrong and thought I'd get your thoughts. The guy is an okay guy hes part of my fiance's wedding party but his gf is awful she hates me and says some pretty awful things most current was that as my fiance and I have just become pregnant she wished a horse would kick me in the stomach and make me miscarry. Now I get that she has to be invited in all wedding parties as his friends date like the wedding and the rehersal dinner and invited to the shower but since this party is thrown after the wedding by my parents to celebrate family I dont see how it mandates an invite for them. I dont want to be rude but having my parents pay to entertain some one that wants me to have a miscarriage after personally paying for her to attend all of the wedding parties seems excisive
Posted by dragossoul84[/QUOTE]
Is the rest of the WP going to be invited to this? If yes, then yeah, you need to include them. Are they staying in the cabins? If yes, then you need to include them otherwise you are partying right under thier noses.

Mrs.B6302007 · May 2011

And no, she doesn't have to be invited to the shower. If she's not a friend of yours (like before she met the GM), then you're off the hook.

dragossoul84 · May 2011

They choose not to stay in the cabins because she didnt think they were good enough for her only people from the wedding party that are invited are the ones staying with us since that is where the party is. They werent invited they know they weren't they just recently got in touch demanding an invitation. I just want to clarify that since this party is after the wedding and only involves our family and the people staying with us we werent required to invite them. I have miscarried before the thought that this woman is wishing for that to happen to me again makes my skin crawl I honestly dont want her at the shower dont want her at the wedding but I have to do it for those events I'm trying really hard to do whats right but if I dont have to I really dont want to

jrkjpf · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_after-wedding-day-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2f1272df-aa17-4511-8f27-c7077b1c0bf5Post:208fc4db-7222-48b0-b2ab-5f80f5125828">After the wedding day party</a>:
[QUOTE]Since we are having an out of town wedding July 3rd my fiance and I are throwing a 4th of July party for our family who we are paying to stay in cabins with us and a couple friends who are staying in the cabin were the bbq is. There is a couple that is demanding to be invited and they are so insistant I almost feel like I'm doing something wrong and thought I'd get your thoughts. The guy is an okay guy hes part of my fiance's wedding party but his gf is awful she hates me and says some pretty awful things most current was that as my fiance and I have just become pregnant <strong>she wished a horse would kick me in the stomach and make me miscarry</strong>. Now I get that she has to be invited in all wedding parties as his friends date like the wedding and the rehersal dinner and invited to the shower but since this party is thrown after the wedding by my parents to celebrate family I dont see how it mandates an invite for them. I dont want to be rude but having my parents pay to entertain some one that wants me to have a miscarriage after personally paying for her to attend all of the wedding parties seems excisive
Posted by dragossoul84[/QUOTE]

Tell her you will invite them, only after a horse kicks her in the face and knocks all her teeth out first.

Mrs.B6302007 · May 2011

[QUOTE]They choose not to stay in the cabins because she didnt think they were good enough for her only people from the wedding party that are invited are the ones staying with us since that is where the party is. They werent invited they know they weren't they just recently got in touch demanding an invitation. I just want to clarify that since this party is after the wedding and only involves our family and the people staying with us we werent required to invite them. I have miscarried before the thought that this woman is wishing for that to happen to me again makes my skin crawl I honestly dont want her at the shower dont want her at the wedding but I have to do it for those events I'm trying really hard to do whats right but if I dont have to I really dont want to [/QUOTE]

I'm sorry for your loss. Been there myself.

I'm having a hard time reading your reply since there are some missing periods, but if I'm understanding it correctly, only the family is invited to the day after party? If so, then this couple does not need an invite. It's rude of them to demand/expect one.

Again, you don't HAVE to include her at the shower. Every woman invited to the wedding doesn't have to be invited to the shower. Showers are intimate events for the bride's closest friends and family.

Mrs.B6302007 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_after-wedding-day-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2f1272df-aa17-4511-8f27-c7077b1c0bf5Post:e14fd1a8-8fb6-418c-a8a1-eb1c31be4d97">Re: After the wedding day party</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to After the wedding day party : Tell her you will invite them, only after a horse kicks her in the face and knocks all her teeth out first.
Posted by jrkjpf[/QUOTE]

This works, too. =-)

MelissaAnne88 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_after-wedding-day-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2f1272df-aa17-4511-8f27-c7077b1c0bf5Post:e14fd1a8-8fb6-418c-a8a1-eb1c31be4d97">Re: After the wedding day party</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to After the wedding day party : Tell her you will invite them, only after a horse kicks her in the face and knocks all her teeth out first.
Posted by jrkjpf[/QUOTE]
Agreed.

mica178 · May 2011

It sounds like the July 4th party is hosted by your parents and family only. You don't need to invite this couple. And, as far as I'm concerned, when a person wishes traumatic miscarriage on a woman, that also excludes her from the bridal shower invitation list.

Brandiewine11 · May 2011

It doesn't sound like you have to invite them, so just stick to your guns on this. "I'm sorry, but we are keeping this to family only" or whatever.

Or you could go with the kick in the mouth thing. She sounds awful.

Habs2Hart · May 2011

So, are the rest of the WP staying at the cabins?

If so, then it's not really family only.

Just stick to your guns. Tell them your family is hosting a July 4th party for those staying at the cabins. You don't have to specify who that is. Tell them it's out of your hands since you aren't hosting.

dragossoul84 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_after-wedding-day-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2f1272df-aa17-4511-8f27-c7077b1c0bf5Post:520206a8-a392-407e-9b8e-a7c1fa2204ef">Re: After the wedding day party</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry for your loss. Been there myself. I'm having a hard time reading your reply since there are some missing periods, but if I'm understanding it correctly, only the family is invited to the day after party? If so, then this couple does not need an invite. It's rude of them to demand/expect one. Again, you don't HAVE to include her at the shower. Every woman invited to the wedding doesn't have to be invited to the shower. Showers are intimate events for the bride's closest friends and family.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

We are only inviting her to the shower because we are doing a couples shower and he is the partner of one of the groomsmen.

dragossoul84 · May 2011

And not all of the bridal party is at the cabins thanks the horse kicking her in the teeth was pretty funny. Thank you I just wanted to make sure I wasnt letting my personal feelings getting in the way of what was right.

Mrs.B6302007 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_after-wedding-day-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2f1272df-aa17-4511-8f27-c7077b1c0bf5Post:1caee7fd-aae8-409d-abf2-e2b7792f837f">Re: After the wedding day party</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: After the wedding day party : We are only inviting her to the shower because we are doing a couples shower and he is the partner of one of the groomsmen.
Posted by dragossoul84[/QUOTE]

Oh, gotcha. In that case, yeah, you're stuck. Bummer. =-/

noodle_oo · May 2011

I don’t think you have to invite them to your family party. But if you invite him, since they are a couple, I don’t think you can tell him not to bring her. Does he know what she said? If he’s close enough to be in the wedding party, I’d be pretty pissed that he’s not upset with her for treating you like crap.

The Mel and Todd Show · May 2011

You can stick to your guns here and not invite them to this party. You got good advice from the ladies above on how to explain this decision.

I'm really sorry this woman said that to you. She's awful.

LoveMuffins · May 2011

Def don't have to invite her to the party the day after. It's not a wedding event and only the people who are staying in a certain place + family are being invited, and they don't qualify as either.

Hell, if they push it, I'd probably have FI tell the GM that you two might have been willing to bend the rules for them if his gf wasn't such a horrid cvnt to you.

mrsjustinm2b · May 2011

yeah, I know etiquette says they have to be invited to all this, but I'm curious...where did you hear that comment? Did she say it to you, or did someone come back and repeat it so you could hear it?

Seriously if someone said this to me they would not be invited to the wedding, or anything else and I don't give a rats a** who they are or who they are sleeping with and if Emily Post rises from the grave to set me on fire so be it! Personally if it were my friends SO who said that I would tell them to go away and not come back until they got rid of the evil cow. I am appalled.

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