Where did you get ready?

i2012do · February 2011

Hi Girls.I recently got into a tiff w.my mom over this.. and it just keeps escalating. She says its tradition to get ready at home, in your parents home (ie where I grew up) so that they can take photos there etc. However, I really don't want to get ready in Cumberland, to then go down a ceremony on a Saturday in the summer in Narragansett- besides beach traffic.. I don't want to be stuffed into a limo with my overbearing (albeit it super nice) parents!! I just want to have a nice (read:RELAXING) morning in a hotel and get ready...Ahhh... ITs such a point of contention that I thought I'd take a poll to see what you all did!

KBinRI · February 2011

Looks like I'm the first to vote! I got ready at the hotel where we had our room blocks. I'm from CT, so there was no getting ready at my childhood home! My own house is very small and there's no way I'd want to be in my dress in there.

We didn't have a wedding party, so it was just me getting ready. I know what you mean about having a relaxing morning! I was really sick, so I was up coughing around 6 and went down to get some tea in the hotel breakfast area. My dad was down there so we had a nice moment together. Then I went back to my room and rested. I came down a bit later and my friends were all having breakfast, so I had some time with them before they went to Newport for the day. Getting ready was so peaceful and my hair and makeup ladies as well as our photographers were saying how nice a change it was from the usual chaos! The limo picked me up at the hotel and brought me to our venue, where my groom awaited for our first look.

I can understand your parents' side a bit; just the same way we might have envisioned our wedding days, they've envisioned it, too. Maybe try to focus on the positives about getting ready in Narragansett - that you'll all have more time, be less stressed, etc. Or maybe scout some locations and try to show your mom how lovely the photos there will be? Good luck!

RoyalOrient · February 2011

When I spoke to my mom about breaking with tradition, I mention to her the practicality of why I am getting my hair and make up done at my house. It was closer to all my vendors and we would not waste time. I would leave my house after we got ready and travel to Fall River (from Providence) to the ceremony where I will wear one of 2 traditional dresses versus the traditional 7 dresses brides usually wear during the 2-3 day wedding which we are doing in one day. I told my mom we are not trying to take short cuts but we are looking to simplify things, reduce stress and make it practical for us and our guests. I believe tradition should be relevant to the times. You can't just throw the word Tradition around because there is a certain belief things have to be done a certain way especially on your wedding day. My parents have accepted it but maybe because I am really stubborn and I refuse to make it more difficult for myself and everyone else. I want our day to be as stress free as possible. I mean that's why I hired a DOC so we can have some peace of mind on our big day.

i2012do · February 2011

good points! I should have phrased this where "did" you get ready or are you going to.

I know from an experience I had as a BM this summer- that its difficult to get ready, everyone, in a house- esp with no AC.

I understand my mom's point of view. But they live in a cape (think super hot in the summer) and I'm spoiled with central air in my apt and a really spacious bedroom (as compared to my tiny childhood bedroom which is also now a home gym!)..If anything, I'd want to get ready at my apartment and then go to the ceremony!

I know my mom feels I should sleep there the night before and get ready- but I only have my photographer for 8 hrs, and I think we are wasting an hour plus in the limo driving down to the ceremony. I am going to take my mom to the Ocean Rose Inn (where I think I want to get ready) and show her the rooms in hopes that she can see my side of it

Now you all have me thinking about "tradition" and what traditions I can point out that we ARE incorporating...so that I can show her that things like that still matter!!

KBinRI · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_rhode-island_did-ready?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:122Discussion:8bcc499f-ffc0-46af-b042-a9dd42a74a96Post:08993291-3318-4dc0-87d3-9ac94d2c05f1">Re: Where did you get ready?</a>:
[QUOTE] know from an experience I had as a BM this summer- that its difficult to get ready, everyone, in a house- esp with no AC. I understand my mom's point of view. But they live in a cape (think super hot in the summer) and I'm spoiled with central air in my apt and a really spacious bedroom (as compared to my tiny childhood bedroom which is also now a home gym!)..Posted by i2012do[/QUOTE]

Oh my gosh, I hadn't even considered the heat (I didn't really need to worry about that in October). You will need AC for sure!!

jlsimon56 · February 2011

I got ready at a hotel (the NYLO, I wish it would open back up!). I REALLY wanted to get ready at my parents' home, but they live down the Cape! They were staying at the same hotel I was, so that made it easy. Obviously, my experience doesn't really help you b/c my parents' house wasn't even an option (I didn't even grow up there, so I guess it's actually completely different....). But what if you got your parents a room at the same air-conditioned hotel?

I think your mom must be going with the memories and nostalgia. Her baby is getting married! While you are being more realistic and practical. Neither is right, neither is wrong.

I do know my parents were upset that we got married in RI. If I could do it over again, I'd have my wedding on the Cape.

kathanddave · February 2011

I stayed the night at my parents and got ready the day of the wedding but they live in the same town as my ceremony and reception area. I was able to get up early and go back to my house in downtown Newport to have a nice leisurely run with my girlfriends and jump off the Elm St Pier before having to head to the hair salon to start the getting ready process. I did get dressed at my parents as did my BM's but my parents house is quite big and we were able to have plenty of room. I like the idea of bringing your mom to the Inn where you would like to stay, I think she will get a better understanding of logistics and how it will make things easier/less stressful on you. My parents had some traditions that I didn't agree with but I had to let somethings go in order to keep things peaceful. Once the week of the wedding came my parents were all about me relaxing....this is just a little bump, if you Mom is insistant put it aside for a month or so and revisit it, if she still insists you have to decide if it is worth the stress. Good luck!!!!

jmorta04 · February 2011

I will be getting married at the Biltmore where the reception is. I am staying there the night before the wedding bc FI is staying at our house in Warwick. The girls and I will all get hair and makeup done there. Tradition wasn't really an issue for me bc my childhood home is in CT and our wedding is in RI.

jesslovesdave · February 2011

I was going to get ready at my sister's - my parents have 2 cats and 2 dogs - but my parents thought a hotel would be better

Bumblebee87 · February 2011

I'm planning to get ready at my parents' house, but this is because

1. I only have 3 girls in my wedding party

2. My room is pretty decently sized for 6 people (me, girls, mom, and hairdresser)

3. There is a/c

and the most important reason

4. The ceremony is only 5 minutes from my parents house

I think that you need to do what makes the most sense for you and makes your special day the least stressful that it can be! I'm sure if you can involve your Mom in the getting-ready process, she will get over the fact that it's not at her house. Good luck!

i2012do · February 2011

Thanks ladies.
I called my mother this am and said "I just wanted you to know I polled my friends on the knot, 11 of them are getting ready or did get ready at a hotel, etc. ok?"

Then I mentioned that she DOES NOT have Ac and its an August wedding
She said she would have it installed.

I laughed sooo hard out loud. If you knew my mom, you would know she's serious--she would pay to have central air put in, so that I would get ready there. Oyyyyy!! mothers sometimes.

I am holding my footing on this one, and letting her win on a few other things that just don't seem to be as "big" of a deal as the getting ready situation (ie making the programs like she wants them, inviting her really odd friend from work, etc)

kathanddave · February 2011

I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!!! There were just some things that I had to let go in order to move forward with things that I was insistent on....good luck!

Sumthinsweet143 · February 2011

It sounds like your mom is willing to do what ever it takes to have you get ready at her house... if she can install central A/C, then ask her to up the budget for the photographer so you don't lose time while traveling.

If she is willing to go those lengths then it seems like it is really THAT important to her.

abercrombie6198 · February 2011

We're having our ceremony and reception at the same venue so my bridal party and I will be getting ready at the venue. Our entire wedding party is staying over the night before the wedding at the venue and we are having hair and make-up come to us in the morning to get ready. This will allow for a stress free or stres-less day. There is enough to worry about besides having to worry about traffic and commuting between locations. I definately vote for getting ready at your venue or a near by hotel.

Where did you get ready?

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