Is it rude not to serve apps before the meal?

piper083079 · October 2010

I am getting married a week from tomarrow and at the last minute my mother has decided that we need to have appetizers at the reception before the meal. Problem is we don't have it in the budget and I have no idea what to serve. I don't want to do this but she is insisting. Help!!!!

sarahbutchin · October 2010

I agree with serving appetizers, just because it is traditional... but I really think it depends on what meal you are serving. What type of reception are you having?

waltzingmatilda13 · October 2010

How long are you making your guests wait while you take pictures? If it's anything over 30 minutes, I think you need to find the money to provide your guests with something to munch on. It's doesn't have to be fancy apps, we just served cheese and crackers and a fruit and veggie display. I think it was $3-4 per person. You just really don't want your guests to starve while they wait for you to arrive.

ehathewa · October 2010

How long is the gap? Like PP said, anything over 30 minutes seems to need a snack.

You can do small apps like cheese/crackers, veggies. I have also seen pretzels and mixed nuts.

piper083079 · October 2010

We are having a very laid back reception serving roast beef and pork sandwhiches, a pasta salad, and beans. And yes it will be about a 30-45 min wait for us to get there. I can't believe I let this slip by!!

MommyMarta08 · October 2010

Are you talking about eliminating the cocktail hour or eliminating the appetizers you get before your main dish at dinner? Unless you are not taking pictures, you need a cocktail hour so people can eat while they wait for you to be done with your pictures. Honestly, I've been to a wedding that only had a cheese/fruit display during the cocktail hour and I was shocked. I was waiting for passed hors d'oeuvres. I never experienced that before but I guess it's a thing because people on the Knot to this. I don't think you need a raw bar, sushi bar, caviar etc- but you do need some hot passed appetizers in my opinion. I expect this at a wedding

If you were talking about an appetizer at dinner- I'd be fine with just a salad. Typically, I expect salad course, pasta course and then main course. But- I could do without the pasta- it could also be a NY thing (that's where I am from)

sarahbutchin · October 2010

I think that you could do something simple, like chips and dips, salsa, veggie tray or cheese tray, but I do think you should have something!

rknox88 · October 2010

I think this depends on your social circle/area as well. Where I am from it is pretty common to wait 45 mintues to an hour without any apps. Then dinner starts when the bride and groom arrive.

I do think though that in those instances you need a little something. I don't even think passed apps are really necessary-just cheese, crackers, veggies, fruit, like a pp said, should suffice, especially since your reception is laid back. I would think it to be kinda strange to have hot passed hors'devours and then dinner be pork sandwiches. The formalities don't seem to go together.

hz80408 · October 2010

With your main meal selection. I'd do something simple like pp's suggested, crackers and cheese, fruits and veggies, chips, etc.

kaesha · October 2010

I think if you're serving alcohol during the gap, you need food. You don't want guests drunk before dinner starts!

waltzingmatilda13 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_rude-not-serve-apps-before-meal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:b4e97968-f5b4-4c6d-a3cb-72eea01f514dPost:d25d8126-93f0-4478-9485-9e6f17b3fe2f">Re: Is it rude not to serve apps before the meal?</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you talking about eliminating the cocktail hour or eliminating the appetizers you get before your main dish at dinner? Unless you are not taking pictures, you need a cocktail hour so people can eat while they wait for you to be done with your pictures. <strong>Honestly, I've been to a wedding that only had a cheese/fruit display during the cocktail hour and I was shocked. I was waiting for passed hors d'oeuvres. I never experienced that before but I guess it's a thing because people on the Knot to this. I don't think you need a raw bar, sushi bar, caviar etc- but you do need some hot passed appetizers in my opinion. I expect this at a wedding</strong> If you were talking about an appetizer at dinner- I'd be fine with just a salad. Typically, I expect salad course, pasta course and then main course. But- I could do without the pasta- it could also be a NY thing (that's where I am from)
Posted by MommyMarta08[/QUOTE]

I would only expect this at a black tie wedding. Otherwise it's optional. The guests really just need something to munch on to keep them happy until dinner is served.

jagore08 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_rude-not-serve-apps-before-meal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:b4e97968-f5b4-4c6d-a3cb-72eea01f514dPost:78358458-83c7-4e1f-9bb9-204e92039fff">Re: Is it rude not to serve apps before the meal?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think if you're serving alcohol during the gap, you need food. You don't want guests drunk before dinner starts!
Posted by kaesha[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div>

topchef33 · October 2010

I've been to plenty of weddings were there were no apps during cocktail hour, but I was usually starving and wishing there was something to snack on!

Even if you can only do cheese and crackers, your guests will appreciate it. And if your mom is so set on having apps can she pitch in and buy it, or at least split the cost?

Goldlie11 · October 2010

For a casual reception, I would put out fruit trays, veggie trays, dips, chips, and crackers.

Or you could take the photos before the ceremony and start the reception after the ceremony (if that's an option). I do agree that 45 minutes is too long to just have people sitting around.

simplebride_24 · October 2010

Are you doing an actual sit down passed meal or are you doing a buffet? Where I am from the only time that we ever do food during the cocktail hour is if it is a sit down meal. We are having a buffet meal, which is more of what happens here anyway, and we aren't doing apps. If you have any friends or family members that were married recently ask them what they did, cause they will be able to give you a better idea of what your area does.

I Want Cake · October 2010

I agree with the fruit/veggies and dip and cheese/crackers suggestion. Your caterer may even price those per platter instead of per person, which could save you some money. If you're having liquor, especially hard liquor, your guests will appreciate it, and you won't have a room full of drunks on your hands. You don't need to have hot passed appetizers if you don't want to. I can't imagine how anyone would be offended at having to get their own, plus it keeps people moving around.

Is it rude not to serve apps before the meal?

Re: Is it rude not to serve apps before the meal?

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