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Kids

utsweetie520utsweetie520 member
10 Comments
in Texas-Austin

I received a reply card back from one of my cousins who listed that he is bringing his three kids who are all under four years old.  The last wedding we all went to, the kids were terrible and were running around all over the place. The parents like to drink and have a good time, and they are not the type of parents who watch their children closely.  Some kids are coming to the wedding, but they are all over eight years old and they are some how related to someone who is in the wedding party.  Should I tell my cousin that he can not bring his kids?  I am really worried about them misbehaving at the wedding. I will also get charged $35 for each child who probably won't eat much at all.  I am more concerned about the behaviors than the money.  What do you ladies think?

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Re: Kids

  • Future RamseyFuture Ramsey
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think you have every right to ask him not to bring his children. It is your wedding and I wouldn't risk his kids messing it up! If you feel like you have to offer a reason, simply state that the only children in attendance are those of your wedding party and because of size or budget constraints you can't invite everyone's children. Hope he'll understand . . . just my two cents :)
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  • SarahPLizSarahPLiz member
    10000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If you didn't invite the children (invitiation was only addressed to parents), then I think its fine to call him and tell him the children were not invited. However, if you addressed it to mr. & Mrs. X and Family, then you basically did invite them.
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  • jedanieljedaniel
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree if you only invited the parents then you should call and nicely tell them you can not accomadate his children. If you put "and family" on the invite then your stuck with them. =)
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  • utsweetie520utsweetie520 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I did not put "and family" on the invitation, but I think some people automatically assume they can bring their whole family.  There are about seven people that replied back with "5 people attending" when the invitation was only addressed to the couple.  This can be really frustrating when you are trying to keep your numbers down, but then it's rude to tell them that their daughter, and their daughter's boyfriend can't come even though neither you nor fiance have ever met them.  Sorry, just venting.  I just don't know if people have any sense of etiquette these days.  Maybe they just have never planned a wedding and don't realize how much the cost is per person.  Thanks ladies for the advice!
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  • pacificgalxpacificgalx
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You addressed your invitations accurately but some people just don't have a clue. It's time to pick up the phone and let everyone know your concern. I know I'm going to end up doing the same thing.
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  • jenn.atxjenn.atx member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I second what Ramsey said... tell them, that there are only a few exceptions to the rule for friends/family in the wedding and that you just don't have the space/budget to accomodate everyones children and it would be unfair to let him bring his and exclude others.  We had to do the same thing, but we actually headed it off at the pass and told everyone before we sent invitations that we didn't have the space.  Good luck and STAY STRONG. 

    On a side vent, I had one of my single friends just add an ex-boyfriend (who is TERRIBLE) after she already sent her RSVP.  When I told her we had already done the seating arrangments and paid the caterer, she said that she felt bad because she had already invited him so she "probably just won't go".... seriously??? 
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  • kellster22kellster22
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am putting adults only event on a thin piece of velum inside my invitations along with directions and other info. I seriously don't want children to attend. Like you, price per person is a consideration at $55 per plate and while I love kids- they are too much of a distraction at a wedding unless there is a playground or special area for children.
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  • kiarrai77kiarrai77 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm having the same problem. I don't want certain kids who's parents can't watch them.  I am not going to tell them their kids are acting poorly during my wedding. BUT I have a bridesmaid who will.  :)   Have someone in your house party be responsible IF you do end up having kids show and they can't act properlly for the event.  I'm also adding a reminder on my website that all who can't act properly for the wedding will be asked to leave.    This is good for anyone who can't hold his booze.


      I have no choice, my fiance' already said they could come. 
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  • jenblack301jenblack301
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Let me know how this worked out because I'm in the same situation...I told my fiance's mother (who is insisting that small children be invited!) that I didn't have room in my budget to feed children so I wouldn't hurt her feelings and she replied with "well I will just pay for them to be there, its not a big deal"!!! So frustrated and have no idea how to get my point across without looking like a B...
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